What is significant and important is very subjective. Things important to some are not to others. Many might imagine themselves important to society or the institution in which they work. The whole notion of importance is important in the minds of some. People might make an “important” discovery in science and get a Nobel prize. People might make an important contribution to literature and get a Booker prize. “Important” things end up as questions on University Challenge. I can normally answer more than half a dozen questions per show. There is loads of stuff in the show which I have never heard of. Being an old git, much of what seems important to the younger generations has next to zero importance to me. My phone has never been used for a call. It is only used to keep in contact with the wife when we are apart. This is almost unbelievable for many though actually factually correct.
I speculate that I am only “important” to one human and three cats, two of which are stray. My current level of significance in the grand planetary scheme of things is very low, the prevailing likelihood is that this will not change.
Were I to leave the physical form it would not impinge on many people, there would be no obituary, no funeral. It would matter not a lot. I am not in the lives of others and they are not in mine.
We will have been here six years in January. It is the longest time in my life since 1969 in which I have not travelled by airplane. My first outing was a 32 hour flight from Heathrow via Acapulco to Syndney Australia. We have left Brittany only once in the six years to go to the Loire with a view to house hunting. One of the questions we occasionally get asked is “have you been back to England?” People are surprised when the answer in no, not at all. I can’t think why I would want to go back. There is nothing there for me. I may never see the UK again.
I was pondering on the nature of fate and mine in particular. The likelihood is that this life will simply fizzle out. I am pretty confident I won’t make it to the life expectancy of ~82. A part of the fate was to shine early then stop suddenly. I left full time employment at the age of 42 and I haven’t had a job since. I did private tutoring for a number of years. I did pioneer a few things but since end of 2006 I have not contributed in practical terms, I certainly did not add to UK plc. I have not been of much use. Whatever potential I once had has perhaps been spent and there is not much left.
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This from Wikipedia
Social isolation is a state of complete or near-complete lack of contact between an individual and society. It differs from loneliness, which reflects temporary and involuntary lack of contact with other humans in the world. Social isolation can be an issue for individuals of any age, though symptoms may differ by age group.
Social isolation has similar characteristics in both temporary instances and for those with a historical lifelong isolation cycle. All types of social isolation can include staying home for lengthy periods of time, having no communication with family, acquaintances or friends, and/or wilfully avoiding any contact with other humans when those opportunities do arise.
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Research indicates that perceived social isolation (PSI) is a risk factor for and may contribute to “poorer overall cognitive performance and poorer executive functioning, faster cognitive decline, more negative and depressive cognition, heightened sensitivity to social threats, and a self-protective confirmatory bias in social cognition.” PSI also contributes to accelerating the ageing process: Wilson et al. (2007) reported that, after controlling for social network size and frequency of social activity, perceived social isolation is predictive of cognitive decline and risk for Alzheimer’s disease.
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Although I meet the connectivity criteria for social isolation, I do not feel particularly isolated and certainly not lonely. Social conditioning suggests that one ought to be social and one would miss contact when it ceases.
It is perhaps my fate to live this way. I have always been taken by the poems of Ryōkan Taigu a Sōtō Zen Buddhist monk who lived much of his life as a hermit. As a couple our lives are quite hermit-like. {The wife talks to friends using Skype.}
Whatever knowledge I have will go with me to the incinerator. From time to time I wonder if people missed out learning from me, but that could simply be vanity messing with me.
I bought a new A4 folder today to put my dreams in because the other ones are full. I have made good progress towards carving some dice for the Mo practice. The parameters of life will be clarified by medical professionals next week. It is difficult to engage with the news as it is so repetitive and dire. War, mass killing, sex scandal, flooding, people getting cancelled for not being PC, orange manbaby says blah blah, blah. The human world has lost its way.
According to numerology I am now well into my final pinnacle which is a one. This is supposed to have the positive aspects of pioneering, go-getting, the instigator, the strategist, the natural leader, the inventor, the cosmologist, mapping out the unknown, fluidity, tenacity, originality, individualism, self-respect, volatility.
Of these only two apply these days.
The negative aspects don’t really fit either apart from perhaps anti-establishment.
I took a good long look at leadership because someone once banged on at me about this {a lot}. I have concluded that I lack the socio-political skills and inclination to lead for anything other than a very short time. I just cannot be arsed with all the horse trading and back scratching. I am not cut out to lead people in normal activities.
I am confident that I have pioneered differing forms of meditation.
I have pretty much stopped reaching out to other people. I have no desire to inflict myself upon them. Everybody has their own agenda and evidence suggests that I am not thereupon.
I wonder if having a quiescent mind ends with a quiescent life fading in which one realises that one is not a big deal and in reality, one never was. I am no big cheese, no grand fromage. I was perhaps only mildly significant to others for a very short period.
I wonder how many people think themselves important, if only in their own lunch hour…
Hmnn….
Dreamyoga 