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But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best-laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!
Still thou are blest, compared wi’ me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But Och! I backward cast my e’e,
On prospects drear!
An’ forward, tho’ I cannot see,
I guess an’ fear!
Robert Burns
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Well I am all wired up to a polygraph. Looks like it measures heart, noise in the trachea, air flow in the nostrils and the saturation of oxygen in the blood. It is not the latest spec machine and I don’t want to pay twenty euros for a user or technical installation manual. The temptation to take it apart is high but I will resist.
Over the last few months with nearly fifty medical appointments so far this year I have felt a little like a lab rat / mouse. Last time I was like this was around 1994 when they did shit loads of tests to figure out my low B12 and high haemoglobin. They gave me a radio-tracer labelled B12 sample and wanted me to collect my piss. I was off on a night out with the lads, by the end of the night my rucksack was very heavy with ~ a gallon of Tennent’s Extra flavoured sample. They told me to collect it all!! They were taking the piss.
I figured that I was a part of some research project at St Thomas’ so I played along. Perhaps I helped someone’s dissertation.
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I learned today that a diagnosis of moderate to severe sleep apnoea means that you have to stop driving and tell the DVLA!! You then need to get the problem under control.
They say that it can affect concentration. I’ll bet my level and extent of concentration against the bulk of the population. I’ll win.
Either the results will be invalid due to the apparatus falling off during the night, or they will be “normal” or they will have some anomalies due to my decade of dreaming practice and two and half decades of meditation. The first two cases are easy. The third case might raise an eyebrow; be seen as an artefact or suggest a re-test.
All these scans and tests are getting a bit boring. I would much prefer to be in the control room watching the acquisitions than on the slab in the middle of a polo mint.
I have often wondered on the mentality of those able to torture mice. I did a team development course for those operating a gene related animal house {mice} at the University of Cambridge. They seemed to be regular people a bit annoyed by the unrealistic expectations of the last minute dot com academic demands. The academics wanted the animal house “sorted out”. I suggested to HR that it was the academics who needed to learn team work and to develop their interpersonal skills, which were poor. I offered to do a course for them. Needless to say my offer to “Olympus” was not taken up. I would have had no problems calling out a pompous Cambridge prof or two.
I take the device back on Tuesday morning before my colonoscopy. We shall see {perhaps} what is recorded thereupon. The fun-filled and action-packed life goes on…
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Dreamyoga 