Qubit Coherence Time Dream 20-03-2023

This dream came after watching Roger Penrose discus “before the big bang” on YouTube. He suggested that in a thermalized black body compliant universe evidenced by the cosmic microwave background energy spectrum where E=hν = mc2, time or inverse time, frequency, does not exist in the absence of matter. “Time” can be curved to “before” the big bang of our current universe. Similarly at an infinitely expanded universe full only of radiation, photons, time again has no meaning without mass.

The dream starts in the refreshment area or bar off a hall full of poster presentations at a “perimeter” conference on quantum and quantum computing. I am talking with a “famous” prof in his early forties and he is holding court to some post docs and post grads. He is skinny with a beard and unruly hair. He is white. As far as he is concerned, I am a nobody.

I say to him that if I have understood it correctly the biggest drawback for quantum computing is qubit coherence time and thereby quantum fidelity. He says yes.

I say that a qubit is a counter-entropic state artificially manufactured in matter in many systems. In these matter based systems tremendous cooling is required to prevent coupling to the nearby thermal bath states which tend to bring about dephasing and lack of fidelity for the prepared qubit. He agrees.

I say that is why they need fuck off big fridges to get close to absolute zero, which is again a counter entropic state when viewed more than locally. He agrees.

That dephasing happens on a temperature and proximity dependent time scale.

I say that thermodynamics is a property of matter and hence time, without matter entropy as no meaning, nor does thermodynamics.

I ask him why nobody is pursuing fast or ultrafast time domain quantum computing? He does not reply.

I say to him if the prepared qubit state is addressed before dephasing occurs, we can use time to outwit or outpace thermalization to bath. Time domain quantum computing could be the answer.

He nods.

I say that the other problem stems from the cycle time of write to zero of the matter involved in the prepared qubits. It should be possible to use a second pulse similar to the state preparation one to reset the qubit clock on a hundreds of megahertz laser repetition rate. We then have a prepare and subsequent write to zero even if the qubit state has been used or partially used in computation. The matter is then ready for us to contravene entropy by writing a qubit.

As the dream ends, I think that it is a fair way from Guru Rinpoche.

Termas, Tertöns and Toltec Time Capsules

During the evening before I had my dream with a blue manifestation of Padmasambhava in, we watched “University Challenge” and “The Crying Game” on TV neither of which has much to do with Guru Rinpoche who is fundamental to Tibetan Buddhism. Over a decade ago I participated in a Guru Rinpoche empowerment given by Akong Rinpoche Tulku at the Kagyu Samye Dzong London. It looked mightily shamanic to me as I had been engaged in prior shamanic rituals.  Something happened. I do not know what. Yet I have used the tantric generating mantra “blessings of the diamond master born of lotus” in deep voice chanting on and off since then, but not for a long while. I instinctively knew this to be utmost Vajrayana, tantric vehicle and have always treated it with great respect.

{Note: this has nothing to do with trendy tantra sex practice.}

The hagiography of Guru Rinpoche has him as a second Buddha and leaving treasures, teachings as terma, {gter ma – གཏེར་མ } time capsules of hidden treasures, waiting for discovery when the time was right and ripe. These can be texts often written in Dakini script, or mind-forms waiting for a suitably susceptible recipient {Tertön} to download into conscious thought.  It is all a bit “Raiders of the Lost Ark” and I am a little surprised that Hollywood has not yet cottoned on. It would make a good movie and Richard Gere might produce it.

Way back Théun Mares used to bang on a little about Toltec Time Capsules. These are hidden teachings from the hay-day of the Toltecs {Atlantis?}. They are {allegedly} secreted around the globe waiting to be discovered and opened. They can be a bit of a Pandora’s box.

Needless to say, both ideas are prone to a glamour, excitement and a sense of salacious secrecy. Hidden treasure is “sexy” and promises a quick fix, a kind of magic. Like the Philosopher’s Stone promises immortality and the Alchemist changes base metal into gold. Which would be handy right now given the Trump effect on global gold prices.

People are prone to imagine some kind of physical tangible artefact. Terma play an important role in the evolution of Tibetan Dzogchen and Buddhism. They are an integral part of the canon. This may seem odd to a Western mind, but Christianity has it saints and their divine visions, and Islam The Prophet.

Teachings from “on high” are a part of most religions /philosophies. The structure of benzene was revealed in a serpentine dream!

Quite why I am getting a blue Guru Rinpoche, here, in rural Brittany, is unknown and a bit odd. I have not seen Lara Croft or Indiana Jones hanging out at the local bar or market. There are no time travelling Nazis with Schmeissers or Lugers yet….

Fingers crossed it remains that way…

Padmasambhava – Blue manifestations

looking a little into this and from RigpaWiki

Guru Sengé Dradrok (Skt. Siṃhanāda; Tib. གུ་རུ་སེང་གེ་སྒྲ་སྒྲོག་, Wyl. gu ru seng ge sgra sgrogs; Eng. ‘The Lion’s Roar’) — one of the Eight Manifestations of Guru Rinpoche.

From A Great Treasure of Blessings, page 30: Guru Rinpoche challenged and defeated five hundred upholders of wrong views in debate at Bodhgaya. He reversed their magic with the aid of a wrathful mantra given him by the lion-faced dakini Marajita. He is known as Sengé Dradok, ‘The Lion’s Roar’.

and

Guru Orgyen Dorje Chang (Skt. Guru Oddiyāna Vajradhara; Tib. གུ་རུ་ཨོ་རྒྱན་རྡོ་རྗེ་འཆང་, Wyl. gu ru o rgyan rdo rje ‘chang) is one of the Eight Manifestations of Guru Rinpoche. This aspect of Guru Rinpoche is sometimes visualized at the centre of the field of merit in the Nyingma tradition. Orgyen Dorje Chang is in sambhogakaya form, with its specific ornaments; holding vajra and bell and his legs in full vajra posture, he embraces white Vajravarahi.

More on the roaring lion Senge Dradog

Senge Dradog Thank

and more on the sambhogakaya Urgen Dorje Chang not necessarily counted in the normal eight.

Urgen Dorje Chang Thank

These are the two “blue” manifestations here is a thangka:

Padmasambhava – 8 Forms: Orgyen Dorje Chang

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Chemical Leak – Surgery – Padmasambhava – Floods – Drinks – Dream 18-03-2025

This dream comes after many days with very unsettled sleep due to intensely painful gout(?) in my right knee. I had 60mg of Codeine in co-codamol in order to get off to sleep.

The dream starts in a very modern building used for chemistry and science. The building is unknown to me. It is in London. On an upper floor where there are chemistry laboratories with fume hoods there has been a major incident. There are youngish people lying on the floor wearing white lab coats. Some of them have safety spectacles and purple nitryl plastic gloves on. They are not moving and are dead. There has been a leak of gas a chemical leak. The gas is an organometallic tin compound, a stanyl. It is volatile. Apart from being dead they look well. I am alone on the floor and immune to the leak. Slowly I drag the bodies out on to the landing and start to pile them into a heap ready for collection. From the landing I can see the entrance atrium which is rather grand. There is a glass banister topped with a hand rail. The bodies are both female and male. They are still warm to the touch yet floppy and lifeless. The work is easy and they do not feel heavy. There are well over a dozen bodies. I pile them up easily.

The scene changes and I am with G, R and T all of whom were / are academic chemists. We are waiting in turn to be operated on. We are to have sebaceus cysts removed from our faces. The man doing the operating is completely naked and devoid of any bodily hair. His genitals are visible. He is wearing blue plastic surgical gloves and nothing else. It is my turn to be operated on. I ask him why he is naked. He replies that it is a lot easier to clean up, the blood washes off. I understand the logic. He starts to cut out two cysts from my face. One of them is deeper than the other and he makes a slight mistake. He is worried that I am angry. I say that I am not in the slightest concerned with my appearance and that a scar of the right side of my face will match the one from the basal cell carcinoma removal on the left side. I suggest that he stitches away. This he does with a dark-black thread of a thicker than usual thickness. I get out of the operating chair and leave. The others are waiting nervously.

I am now walking around London with Padmasambhava, Guru Rinpoche. The atmosphere between us is fraternal as if we go way back. He is in a dark royal blue manifestation. We get into a right hand drive old Mk3 Ford Cortina in white. I drive us down to the embankment then we get out. Rinpoche puts his right arm around my right shoulder. He points with his left hand at the Thames water level. He says that in due course it will flood London. The water level rises and as it rises, we retreat uphill. Soon large tracts of land near the embankment are flooded. We work our way up towards Victoria and then Kensington. As we get to the north side of Kensington High Street, he shows me how much of London has been inundated by the sea level rise. He comments that much of this might have been stopped but it was not. There is a feeling of bond between us as we survey.

The scene changes and I am in what once was the Norfolk Arms but now is a hotel. It is very late well after closing time. I am in the bar with G, R and T. There is a young woman decked out as a waitress with a white apron and a black waistcoat. She is drying glasses with a towel. T orders a round of drinks from her and brings them over to us. There is some conversation about the chemical leak. The time comes and it is my turn to buy a round. For some reason I forget G. He feigns upset. I buy him a drink and the woman asks if I have any change, loose coins. She says that we always run out. I pull out coins from my trousers pocket to pay for the round. Her colleague, a male comes over and counts them out. He adds them to a small metallic coin-change box. He gives me back three coins. These coins I/we know are antique, they have a patina of age upon them. The others then go off to bed in the hotel and I sit at the bar with the waitress and her senior colleague. The night is our time, we are creatures of the night.

The dream ends.

Proof of Telekinesis – Pennies

Many people do not believe in telekinesis as a real thing, an observable phenomenon. Yet they are able to use their mind to counter the gravitational attractive force between the planet Earth and pennies. Reality exerts a pull on said pennies causing them to ground, to fall to earth. Yet people are able to deny, refuse, fail to accept, act dumb, fail to see, fail to understand, not appreciate or otherwise be unable to perceive something true and sometimes obvious.

The penny does not drop, not because pennies do not obey gravitational law, but because people use their mind to elevate them, slow the acceleration.

On a bed of contrary reasons and justifications the penny is held near stationary in space. Complacency and dogma act as a treacle, a thick gloopy liquid which holds the penny up. Many famous scientists who do not believe in telekinesis are highly skilled in the art. They can stop pennies dropping for a very long time. Yet if you asked them, they would say that telekinesis does not exist.

There are many historical examples of telekinesis.

Confirmation bias is one of the best techniques for telekinesis. We see only what we want to see, what is convenient. This helps us to keep the penny elevated.

One day that penny can drop and the sudden realisation so-caused can be difficult to assimilate and comprehend. All that effort at telekinesis is not let go of quickly or quietly. People even after the penny has dropped for the first time are able to re-elevate it for a while. Because to accept that the penny has dropped is to acknowledge that one’s omniscient superpower has failed. There are implications.

Complacency is a good telekinetic technique. It can keep pennies from falling for quite a while. Unfortunately, complacency is a bit fragile and not really a good buttress against reality.

At the moment there are pennies dropping all over Europe about how reliable long held alliances are. There remains a lot of wishful thinking, but that which was once dependable is no longer.

Some people are quicker on the uptake than others and less prone to penny telekinesis. Others are highly skilled in the arcane art of levitation.

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Are you any good at telekinesis?

Can you stop the pennies from dropping?

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The Wrong End of the Stick Dream 16-03-2025

An English idiom meaning to get something wrong by one’s approach by making stupid assumptions. To think that something you’ve been offered is the opposite of what it is. To confuse left and right. To turn an ability into a disability, a solution into a problem.

From the Urban Dictionary

Overnight I have had another dream in which some people get the very wrong idea about my “relationship” with them and on the basis of that make incorrect assumptions about what I must and will do for them, to help them out and otherwise clear up a mess which is entirely of their own making. They, in the dream, imagine that I am a bit like one of them, on the same level and with the same motivations. Which I am not.

The dream prior to that says that in some things I have no choice. I simply cannot do what might be convenient because it is evil.

This recurrent theme of somebody else’s mess has occurred numerous times over more than the last decade or so. It is not my mess, I cannot clear it up, nor can I like a fairy Godmother rescue them. Bonnie Tyler may be singing a song but it does not refer to me, sorry. I cannot offer any advice because it would fall on deaf ears.

It is said that a warrior lives by challenge. I have found increasingly that the challenge for me is non-intervention, to leave well alone and to let others have the opportunity to learn. This notion of stepping back did not initially sit well. It turns out not getting involved or conflated into the drama of others, is both relaxing and economic. In the midst of some soap opera or other everything seems very important, with detachment that looks more like emotional over reaction. Some people like drama and thrive thereupon. They stoke it and feed.

I have learned that it is impossible to explain to someone caught up in and obsessed by their social conditioning, what things are like, and how they look, when that conditioning has nearly completely gone. It is one of those things that has to be experienced. No verbalisation can convey.

This may sound arrogant, as if I may be looking down. Is that real or your reflection which you see in the mirror I hold up for you. Am I haughty? Or have I at least partially risen above the soap-opera-plane?

Poor me, I am so misunderstood…

It that my being victim or a truth of sorts.

I do not feel victimised rather inured to, accustomed with, bored by, an experience I have had often in my sixty years.

——————————————————-

We’re only making plans for Nigel
We only want what’s best for him
We’re only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs that helping hand

And if young Nigel says he’s happy
He must be happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his world

We’re only making plans for Nigel
He has his future in a British steel
We’re only making plans for Nigel
Nigel’s whole future is as good as sealed, yeah

XTC

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Past Life CVs or Resumés

As a part of application for jobs it is not uncommon to be asked to provide a curriculum vitae (CV) or resumé. Often one is asked for references of referees. The offer of job is therefore based on something one writes oneself and what some other geezers say about you. If I understand it correctly it is not uncommon {these days} to do a social media trawl on an applicant and get them to sign some corporate social media usage contract if the application is successful. If people want to work, they must not express any controversial opinion or behaviour in public, there is a kind of thought police. PR concerns may be more important than ability to do the tasks required, adequately or well. The world is an edgy place with PR driven cancel culture.

In this context I can say that my current incarnation is as a retired person specialising in gardening and DIY. The only person on earth who could write me a reference which is less than five years old is the wife. I have not been employed by a company or institution for nearly twenty years, so there is nobody who could write me, with any honesty, a reference less than ~ two decades old. The logic of this is that I am not qualified for any job which requires a current written or oral reference.

I could say that in a prior incarnation I was a university lecturer. The phlebotomist yesterday asked me why I needed a Ph.D. in chemistry and I said that a long time ago in a land far away I once taught at a university in London.

It is very much like a prior incarnation, an entirely different and pressured existence in a place with a high human density per cubic metre, a prior life. A different world entirely. I said to her, “Londres, c’est fou!”

Why do CVs not extend to prior incarnations?

Few actually check in detail what is claimed in CVs for even the current life. Though no doubt there will be CV fraud and certainly exaggeration. People are encouraged to big up the CV and add a hype polish. It may be interesting to do a statistical analysis of distortion in CVs submitted.

As far as I know only one culture is interested in past-life CVs, prior incarnations and that is the Tibeto-Bhutanese-Nepalese one, which extends by exile into India. Reincarnated Rinpoche Lamas, Tulkus, have travelled to and taught in the west. In that context a great deal of respect is offered to these beings and they get the throne of a lamasery or even to lead a country based upon their rebirth CV which may extend back more than ten incarnations.

How would you behave if you met a Rinpoche tulku lama? Would that differ to the criticism in your head about hocus pocus? Would you go through the motions or refuse to go along with charade?

People who may not believe in reincarnation might offer respect to a high tulku lama if they meet in a certain cultural context. How they might behave in a pub or coffee shop could be a different matter. Kudos is of course culture specific, yet there is some transferability. An anointed Nobel prizewinning scientist has kudos in Academica and more widely, they have the stardust of deity attached. There are even questions about them on University Challenge!! This ranks them with Tintoretto and Da Vinci.

A CV is meant to be a witness of experience and kudos harvested. If you have been to a famous institution {not asylum} you get CV brownie points. A mere whisper of Harvard sprinkles some magic dust of assumed elite braininess and knowledge. You could have been shit, but the name-kudos camouflages this.

It is very difficult to check the truth of many CV claims. Employers tend not to keep aged records. I could make factual claims {according to my recollections} about where I was employed. But to get supportive records from human resources there may not be facile. I could, knowing this, make some shit up. Proof may not exist, not even in the pudding. There is an unwritten assumption that CVs are not complete packs of lies.

I have circumstantial evidence which suggests that I have had two {three} lifetimes as a Buddhist practitioner {monk / priest}. Does that mean I can put it on my CV to apply for jobs as a Buddhist teacher? Nobody alive could offer me a current reference because they all carked it centuries ago and I have not found them again in this lifetime. If things for prior lives are as difficult to prove as those from current lives why not put them on the CV.

There is a part of me, which might like to submit a CV dating back 3000 B.C.E for a job position just to see if they responded, binned it or kept in “on file” because there were other applicants more suited to the job description dogma grid. My bet would be zero response. I could then telephone to inquire…

Perhaps I could then write a movie script…

“A long time ago in a land far away…”

“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….”

3000 B.C.E. Son of a Brahman Indus Valley, Northern India

The Bronze Age in the Indian subcontinent begins around 3000 BCE, and in the end gives rise to the Indus Valley Civilisation, which had its (mature) period between 2600 BCE and 1900 BCE. It continues into the Rigvedic period, the early part of the Vedic period. It is succeeded by the Iron Age in India, beginning in around 1000 BCE.

Standard cubic weights from the Indus Valley 2600-1900 BCE

Cubic “dice” made by me {unknowing} for Tibetan Mo divination, Brittany 2024 CE.

The measurments are made with a high precision capacitance micrometer and are accurate to plus or minus 0.01 mm..

Arrogance and Omniscience

I’ll speculate the average experience that French people have of British expatriates leaves them with the impression that most cannot be arsed to learn the language or make any attempt to converse therein. Further that “les anglais” are not the sharpest tools in the box. Well over a dozen times now people have asked me if I am English, which is a lazy use of language. I am Welsh.

The lass on the checkout yesterday tried to speak a little English but we were better off in French. Get this a young checkout woman was making a decent effort with customers. More power to her.

I’ll speculate further that people make assumptions, me included.

Because I am generally to be found in partially soiled combat trousers, in relative need of a shave and have not combed my hair for over five years, there is no obvious way of knowing what is under my hood, intellectually speaking. As a consequence, I have been talked down to on a number of occasions and ignored on others. I once offered a prof in Rennes a recent paper on T (4,14) translocations in multiple myeloma written in French by a team of which she was an (attributed) nominal part. She ignored it and swept it to one side. She then laid down the law. This was very rude and showed a marked level of arrogance. She would not have done that to an Imperial College dude in the UK.

In the UK “they” deem the French arrogant which is perhaps the pot calling its mirror the kettle, black.

I have noted that as a general rule of thumb people do not like their omniscience being questioned which suggests a lack of confidence in the accuracy of their projected and professed omniscience and a self-important ideation in which any questions of/on deity are taboo. Omniscience is particularly sacrosanct here, it is embedded in the language, “vous avez raison”, you have reason and are justified.

The internet is littered with “experts” willing to offer and even sell opinion whether reliable or not. The tendency to the exponential growth in professed expertise and dubious qualifications which sound good, gathers momentum. I could buy a fake degree, if I understand it correctly. I could run courses on dreaming and offer certification, for a fee. I do have some kosher qualifications but not in dreaming. I could invent a name “The Pan-Celtic Gorsedd o Breuddwydion”, knock up a web site and hand out certificates. I could develop a syllabus, which might be better than most.

The problem is that the arrogant have next to no idea as to where the known for them ends, they have no notion of just how limited their knowledge is. They do not even acknowledge the unknown exists let alone the unknowable. But that in no way stops them being arrogant. The assumption that they are right is deemed to be a fact, a truism. Being prone to a form of pride-encephalitis their swollen heads refuse to bow in humility. That would mean a loss of face. Bullshitting and winging it are not uncommon.

I know that should I put on a well ironed shirt, my ~£1000 leather jacket, my polished expensive black leather shoes and peer over my rimless spectacles as if I was giving a viva exam, I could adjust perceptions.

But why would I need to dress up to overcome the arrogance and assumptions of others?

Similarly, if I used a 2mm length in the buzz cut and wore a white guru shirt and harem pants, people would interact differently. People do judge books, if they are able to still recognise what one of them is, by their covers.

I have been so very lucky over the years in that so many people have told me stuff, tried to teach me, told me what I am, told me what I am thinking. They have offered me their erudite opinions ever so freely.

I doubt any could actually mange to think what/how I think most of the time which is silent nothing.

Clearly, they know that I need to be educated by them, because I am in dire need of the profound depths of their wisdom and knowledge.

I’ll assume that few have firsthand experience of a creature like me, as I am today, and that if I acted fully authentically, few could hack it.

How on earth do you manage to give someone a heads up about what they are dealing with in a manner which is both clear, palatable and likely to be believed / understood / taken on board?

I have no answer despite many attempts.

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Based on the above am I an arrogant dickhead, what do you reckon?

What does your pure wisdom mind say?

Magical Thinking and Arrogance

I am already bored with the endless TV footage of Trump with his droning on, bragging and put downs of anyone who is not him. His magical thinking in which his actions and words are free of real world consequences is crass. It was so nice to have had a few years without him soap boxing on a daily basis into the media. Oh well we have a few more years of this. If he imagines endorsing Tesla is going to promote sales globally, he may be mistaken. The MAGA sheep may buy but a Trump endorsement is not a good sales pitch worldwide. He may have a “Bud Lite” effect.

Maybe I should contact Dignitas soon.

Not surprisingly the conflict in Ukraine has not been solved in a day. Without the EU further sanctions are unlikely to upset Putin. Trump is the new poster boy for BRICS. He does not perhaps, get this.

Magical thinking, I the Don will get Vlad the Impaler to stop war in Ukraine, “Ta-dah!”

With friends like Trump who needs enemies?

A lot of people have some kind of magical thinking which arises out of their arrogance.

People can be so damned cock-sure without basis that they are blind, myopic and practising auto-proctology, looking with pride at their own sphincters. They are caught up in their own bubble-world. They imagine that the world loves them, that it will flock to them, kowtow, and share of the radiant brilliance of their self-diagnosed omniscience. It may not occur that they are wreaking havoc into the web of life because of their self-centred egotistical obsessions. They would not give a shit in any case.

Trump is a mirror for many, a mirror into which they fear to look with honesty. Humanity has called forth the likes of him. He is a sign of the times.

“Me first, ME, ME, ME. Everyone else is nasty and mean, only I am the hero. They, the plebs, do not understand. The world is against me, conspiring, poor me. It is not fair mummy.! They don’t appreciate me and see just how lucky they are to have me!!”

There is a problem that when some do not get their own way emotional drama results. I have never heard a US president slag off his predecessors with such glee. It is not statesman like nor edifying. It is petty.

Marcus Aurelius he is most certainly not.

This soap opera cannot be cancelled by network. It looks like running for few years yet, even if the ratings drop.

I wonder exactly how much damage can be done in four years?

That remains to be seen and perhaps endured.

Being a SEP and More Medical Stuff

I have to say that the French medical system is in no way stingy with the diagnostics. They are and have been very generous. I have been to see a lung specialist this morning and she gave me a full work over. I am due a pulmonary CT scan in around three weeks and this is now booked. This turnaround time of the French system is admirable. Give my history of colon cancer and smoking, there is a tendency not to piss about. I am to have blood tests for allergens, vitamin D, a pneumococcal vaccine and have been given an “pseudo-emergency” prescription for a nebuliser for asthma.  I am going to have an analysis of my sleep including overnight cardiology in May. They haven’t overtly confirmed full blown COPD yet. I have a moderate hypoxia as measured by blood even though my haemoglobin count is a fair way above normal, the latter is genetic apparently. Because I showed evidence for bronchospasm today it means that they will probably not give me a general anaesthetic if they ever operate to replace my hips. Guidelines are closer to rules here.

Since I have been in Brittany, I have been to A&E twice, seen two orthopaedic surgeons, a neurosurgeon, a specialist in sports medicine, a neurosurgeon, a gastroenterologist, a urologist, a lung specialist, a couple of dermatologists, a physiotherapist, an osteopath, a podiatrist, dental surgeons, my own general practitioner and several others. I have had X-rays, CT scans and multiple MRIs. They have been very generous.

It has been said that I have multiple co-morbidities. The French system is a bit reductionist, they send one off to see a specialist, then it is Someone Else’s Problem (SEP) and responsibility, for a while. Eventually somebody might figure out what to do with me. They will have investigated thoroughly.

It feels like I am the parcel in a game of pass the parcel.

In my life I am aware that on multiple occasions I have been seen as a SEP, in some ways a hot potato, even a bit of a leper. Nobody knows what to do with me because I do not fit into any diagnostic social pigeonhole.

To me it is funny, sitting where I am, knowing what I do, that people consider me a SEP.

I have often had this sensation that people see me a problem to somehow be “solved”.

Bizarre…