I have to say that the French medical system is in no way stingy with the diagnostics. They are and have been very generous. I have been to see a lung specialist this morning and she gave me a full work over. I am due a pulmonary CT scan in around three weeks and this is now booked. This turnaround time of the French system is admirable. Give my history of colon cancer and smoking, there is a tendency not to piss about. I am to have blood tests for allergens, vitamin D, a pneumococcal vaccine and have been given an “pseudo-emergency” prescription for a nebuliser for asthma. I am going to have an analysis of my sleep including overnight cardiology in May. They haven’t overtly confirmed full blown COPD yet. I have a moderate hypoxia as measured by blood even though my haemoglobin count is a fair way above normal, the latter is genetic apparently. Because I showed evidence for bronchospasm today it means that they will probably not give me a general anaesthetic if they ever operate to replace my hips. Guidelines are closer to rules here.
Since I have been in Brittany, I have been to A&E twice, seen two orthopaedic surgeons, a neurosurgeon, a specialist in sports medicine, a neurosurgeon, a gastroenterologist, a urologist, a lung specialist, a couple of dermatologists, a physiotherapist, an osteopath, a podiatrist, dental surgeons, my own general practitioner and several others. I have had X-rays, CT scans and multiple MRIs. They have been very generous.
It has been said that I have multiple co-morbidities. The French system is a bit reductionist, they send one off to see a specialist, then it is Someone Else’s Problem (SEP) and responsibility, for a while. Eventually somebody might figure out what to do with me. They will have investigated thoroughly.
It feels like I am the parcel in a game of pass the parcel.
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In my life I am aware that on multiple occasions I have been seen as a SEP, in some ways a hot potato, even a bit of a leper. Nobody knows what to do with me because I do not fit into any diagnostic social pigeonhole.
To me it is funny, sitting where I am, knowing what I do, that people consider me a SEP.
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I have often had this sensation that people see me a problem to somehow be “solved”.
In various texts Kuthumi is said to have been educated at one of the British Universities. In the mid nineteenth century that meant Oxford, Cambridge, St Andrews, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen or maybe Durham. Logic says that if he graduated, he would be on alumni lists, BUT in those days, many attended and never sat the qualifying exams. I have searched provisionally and found some Singhs at Cambridge, Edinburgh and Glasgow. Most of these were to the end of the century but none corresponded to him.
University could be a metaphor.
It could also mean college or private school.
Some say he was a Rajput Prince though others confer this to Morya.
Leadbetter suggests that they together with Djwhal Kuhl lived in a ravine in Tibet. They are placed not far from Shigatze and the Tashi Lhunpo Monastery the seat of the previous Panchen lamas
It is suggested that Kuhl, previously a follower of Kuthumi, became a master in his own right in 1875. He is said to be involved in the running of a certain lamasery.
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Morya is anecdotally placed in London for the 1851 Great Expedition whilst Faraday was at The Royal Institution of Great Britain. I’ll speculate that anyone travelling from the sub-continent interested in science and knowledge might have swung by Albermarle Street.
In a piece of text, I cannot now find, Blavatsky suggested that she had been to some talks there. She speaks of Müller and other writers on eastern religions. Blavatsky is said to have visited the Masters in Tibet.
Minds were more like blotting paper, once. There was no Netflix so people had to find other things to keep the grey matter ticking over.
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There was a great melting pot of ideas back then. William Crookes was a member of the Society for Psychical Research
“The Society for Psychical Research (SPR) originated from a discussion between journalist Edmund Rogers and the physicist William F. Barrett in autumn 1881. This led to a conference on 5 and 6 January 1882 at the headquarters of the British National Association of Spiritualists, at which the foundation of the Society was proposed. The committee included Barrett, Rogers, Stainton Moses, Charles Massey, Edmund Gurney, Hensleigh Wedgwood and Frederic W. H. Myers. The SPR was formally constituted on 20 February 1882 with philosopher Henry Sidgwick as its first president.
The SPR was the first organisation of its kind in the world, its stated purpose being “to approach these varied problems without prejudice or prepossession of any kind, and in the same spirit of exact and unimpassioned enquiry which has enabled science to solve so many problems, once not less obscure nor less hotly debated.”
In 1882 Mary Everest Boole became the first female member of the SPR; however, she resigned after six months. Some other early members included the author Jane Barlow, the renowned chemist Sir William Crookes, physicist Sir Oliver Lodge, Nobel laureate Charles Richet, artist Lewis Charles Powles and psychologist William James.”
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Sir William Crookes (17 June 1832 – 4 April 1919) was an English chemist and physicist who attended the Royal College of Chemistry, now part of Imperial College London, and worked on spectroscopy. He was a pioneer of vacuum tubes, inventing the Crookes tube, which was made in 1875. This was a foundational discovery that eventually changed the whole of chemistry and physics.
He is credited with discovering the element thallium, announced in 1861, with the help of spectroscopy. He was also the first to describe the spectrum of terrestrial helium, in 1865. Crookes was the inventor of the Crookes radiometer but did not discern the true explanation of the phenomenon he detected. Crookes also invented a 100% ultraviolet blocking sunglass lens. For a time, he was interested in spiritualism and became president of the Society for Psychical Research.
From Wikipedia
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Do you think there is some PR in this wiki page trying to discount the whacko spiritualism?
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Crookes attended the Royal College of Chemistry
“The Royal College of Chemistry (RCC) was a college originally based on Oxford Street in central London, England. It operated between 1845 and 1872.
The original building was designed by the English architect James Lockyer in 1846 with the foundation stone being laid by Albert, Prince Consort on June 16, 1846.
The College was set up to teach practical chemistry. Many politicians donated funds to establish the college, including Benjamin Disraeli, William Gladstone and Robert Peel. It was also supported by Prince Albert.
The first director was August Wilhelm von Hofmann. Frederick Augustus Abel studied under von Hofmann. Sir William Crookes, Edward Divers and J. A. R. Newlands also attended the college.
The young William Henry Perkin studied and worked at the college under von Hofmann but resigned his position after discovering the first synthetic dye, mauveine, in 1856. Perkin’s discovery was prompted by his work with von Hofmann on the substance aniline, derived from coal tar, and it was this breakthrough which sparked the synthetic dye industry, a boom which some historians have labelled ‘the second chemical revolution’.
The college was merged into the Royal School of Mines in 1853. It was the first constituent college of Imperial College London and eventually became the Imperial College Chemistry Department.”
From Wikipedia
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The description from Leadbetter (extended in the book) is entirely consistent with various images I have had in dreaming and which started with this dream about The Tibetan.
Here is this morning’s dream it has a distinct Italian theme.
The dream starts with me sat at my desk. The desk is small and ornate. It is designed for writing and has stationery and quills. The feel is late 18th or very early 19th century. I am wearing pantaloons which button just below the knee, they are of a golden colour. A man comes in he is bearing a letter on a metal silver coloured tray. The tray is slightly ornate. The letter is addressed to me though I cannot see my name. I can see “Via Gambetti” as the address. I sense a silent “h” as in Gambhetti. I open the letter with a paper knife. The letter is written in a deep royal blue ink with a slanting italic script. I have been waiting for this letter for some time. It is written in Italian.
The scene changes to modern times, and I am in an Italianate piazza off which is a modern exposition building. The address of which is “Via Marchese della…” or “Via del Marchese…”. I go into the hall and a young woman hands me a conference programme entirely in Italian. I read and understand it. There are many high technology exhibitors with stalls and rooms placed around the large atrium. I start talking to some young people in a group. A man is a posh suit and his PA approach. He puts his hand on my shoulder and says, “ciao, we are glad you came. Will you help us judge the best exhibit and most promising technology?”
I go off with them and enter a booth / room which is full of large screens and computers. Someone is playing a game / simulation. The simulation is a mix of military and aid, some kind of logistical clean up operation. The idea is all about logistical delivery and monitoring. I ask a young man to explain his work to me, because I am out of touch and out of date, Jurassic even. He says that he is very pleased to meet me and starts to explain.
We move on to “judge” various other exhibits. I am totally surprised in the dream that anybody would be pleased to see me or welcome my input.
At the back of the exhibition area is small seminar room which I know that I have used before. I make my excuses and nip in there to have some time to myself away from the hubbub. On the green-black rotary blackboard written in white chalk are the words “nagal exposed”. On the rotary white board amidst a multicoloured patch of marker pen is the word “nagal”. It is in relief, not coloured in and the colour of the white board behind.
I take a blackboard eraser to the white chalk and rub it out. I take a piece of blue paper towel to the white board and rub that out. I am very surprised to find these here. When I have finished, I roll both the white board and green-black board over to clean areas.
This morning I had a dream concerning Sanskrit at The Royal Institution. I did research there 1985-88 for my Ph.D.
In 1861 and 1863 Friedrich Max Müller gave lectures there whilst Michael Faraday was director on the science of language.
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One of these was on Sanskrit the Indo-European mother tongue.
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In 1870 he gave a series of lectures on the Science of Religion when John Tyndall was director.
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Back then people may have been more open minded and less strictly subject specific in orientation.
Friedrich Max Müller
(6 December 1823 – 28 October 1900) was a British philologist and Orientalist of German origin. He was one of the founders of the Western academic disciplines of Indian studies and religious studies. Müller wrote both scholarly and popular works on the subject of Indology. The Sacred Books of the East, a 50-volume set of English translations, was prepared under his direction. He also promoted the idea of a Turanian family of languages.
Academic career
In 1850 Müller was appointed deputy Taylorian professor of modern European languages at Oxford University. In the following year, at the suggestion of Thomas Gaisford, he was made an honorary M.A. and a member of the college of Christ Church, Oxford. On succeeding to the full professorship in 1854, he received the full degree of M.A. by Decree of Convocation. In 1858 he was elected to a life fellowship at All Souls’ College.
He was defeated in the 1860 election for the position of Boden Professor of Sanskrit, which was a “keen disappointment” to him. Müller was far better qualified for the post than the other candidate (Monier Monier-Williams), but Müller’s broad theological views, Lutheranism, German birth, and lack of practical first-hand knowledge of India spoke against him. After the election he wrote to his mother, “all the best people voted for me, the Professors almost unanimously, but the vulgus profanum made the majority”.
Later in 1868, Müller became Oxford’s first professor of comparative philology, a position founded on his behalf. He held this chair until his death, although he retired from its active duties in 1875.
Thematically the notion of loose ends has been active in the period of hibernal sleep, pralaya, before the post equinox activity.
“Pralaya is the period of sleep between cosmic revolutions as well as dissolution of the body and cosmos.”
The skirmish with the coypu is coming to a close, there is about 10 m more of fencing to repair on the northern boundary, the single wire, six conductor, five string electric fence, is offering deterrent. There has been no sign of coypu in the pond for a week now.
Finally, after an hour or so on the ‘phone and with an abortive attempt I have managed to replace the UK secure banking thingy. I have had a couple of nice chats with Indian gentlemen in the sub-continent. One of them had a nice sense of humour when I asked for a 50:50 or ‘phone a friend for one of his questions.
I await a replacement Carte Vitale; the current estimate is two more weeks…
I have asked for an HLA – B27 genotype test which will help to close /open one door concerning a diagnosis for my back pain. A telephone call to the surgery on Monday will see if there is a prescription waiting. Although there is an MRI appointment early April for an S5 – L1 investigation I am not sure there is a point to it, nor if it justifies the price. If I get a positive HLA -B27 test then I can ask the GP to change the target of the MRI to sacroiliac joints which can be diagnostic of ankylosing spondylitis. If no test is forthcoming, I could just go though the motions and let it all drop until next year. I asked, it was ignored, let it play. Do not inflict myself. Do not push or strive.
I have been following up on the Brisbane property title deed prompted by the recent dream. The title search reported four properties in the same full name as my father, two near Brisbane and two near Cairns. One of the titles fits my memory and there are two > $1 million Australian properties on the plots. I have asked for a historical title search from registry this morning. This is probably only for historical interest.
I get a Titanium tooth root drilled in in a couple or weeks to be followed by a crown in a few months. Three teeth are similar in price to an old style, non-computational, second hand car. First pass is to only get one done; the other side of my mouth can remain nonfunctional.
The tuner in our satellite TV decoder failed and we await a replacement from Ireland. I will tune the receiver dish to Astra 2 in geo-stationary orbit and we will have UK TV back, fingers crossed. Watching rugby with French commentary is not the same.
I know this is a dangerous thing to say. But there does not seem to be any actions on my part outside of these currently on my to do list. Nor does there seem any other than gardening or medical for the near future.
I may be a loose end for others, but I see no action required of me. This seems unlikely as I am not “in” (m)any other lives.
On the back burner there are noises that the French property market is starting to warm a tiny bit perhaps aided by the ECB interest rate decision last week. The chronic decision of house down-sizing may come onto the cards later in spring-summer.
Yep, there are curve balls, spanners etc…
Then on the horizon is the big-one. In March 2026 our right to stay expires along with our health rights, our bank cards. Everything French except my driver licence runs out on the same day. We may get booted out back to blighty.
Given the right wing nationalist rhetoric which can be found on many sides, our future here does not look as secure as it did two years ago.
Gee thanks Donald and Elon and Boris…
This residence thing needs watching, hopefully something is put in place in a timely fashion. Though it could be a lastminut.com lash up.
This morning, I was awoken by the dawn chorus, there are daffodils and primroses, the roses are budding. Spring is putting her toe through the threshold of the year…
This dream is from around 6 AM this morning. I have been waking because of pain in my lower spine and sacroiliac joints. I have been taking ~4 AM paracetamol to mitigate this.
The dream starts at an airport. The weather is warm and dry. On the tarmac with two boarding staircases is a jet air craft. In an angular script is written in large blue letters Air Israel. I am queuing with others to board the plane. There are people of all ages but the background is of wealth and the majority of them are Jewish. There are a few Hassidim with beaten up small leather carry-ons. There is a hub-bub of conversation. I climb the stairs and am welcomed by the cabin crew. Because of my appearance and colouring there is implicit an initial understanding that I am Jewish too. I take my seat on the aisle next to a couple with a toddler. The man is older than the woman and they are of American origin.
The flight takes off and I go to the galley to get food. The interior of the plane is now like the ground floor of a hotel with seminar tooms and a plenary. At the galley they are serving a very meat heavy dish with soup and dumplings, it is garlic rich. I move on to the self-service area. There is a selection of salads. I select one with lettuce and green lentils. I sit at a table and am soon joined by several young people who are in high spirits, they are anticipating their holidays, their stay on a kibbutz in the wilderness away from their parents.
Soon everyone moves to the plenary. A middle aged woman is on stage and she is throwing out pieces of puzzles. The idea is to use these pieces to construct a kabbalistic tree of life, Otz Chim. Everyone has flip chart paper, pens, scissors, card, string, glue and blue tac. The exercise is to keep people occupied on the flight. I catch some of the resources which the woman is throwing.
I start to build my tree of life. I start to make a three dimensional model between four vertical pillars. These pillars are about 2 cm in diameter and like Greco-Roman architecture pillars with striations top to bottom. They are gilded in a silver-gold mix. I build my tree of life in a quasi-helical fashion and not plan form. Each of the sephirah in my model is constructed out of a golden orb which I pull out of my pocket. The orbs are table tennis ball size and are decorated with an equatorial golden overlay motif. They are suspended in free space with no path structure. I pull out the last orb, Keter, and place it on top of the tree. Within the columns there is still top room for the veils of unmanifest. Keter is unusual in that it has to it a visor, like on a motorcycle helmet.
The woman on the stage suggests that we all switch tables and compare our handiwork. I join the table of a matriarch and her two late teen sons. I know that they are soon off to university. The woman looks at my tree and says that it in not bad for a goy. I open the visor on Keter and the model is filled with a radiant light, it comes to life. I say to her that the secret is Malkuth. She says don’t you mean Keter. I say yes, I deliberately mixed them up.
One of the sons comes over to me and takes out some tracing paper he is very keen to measure the dimensions of my design. He asks why there are no words on the paths and the sephirah like on everybody else’s designs. He says they could be in English or Hebrew. I say to him that if you need to use words then you have not understood nor attained the sephiroth. Words are by way of spells and are distractions from the path(s). The young man is excited and wants to learn from / with me.
In the dream I wonder if, because of the pain in my lower spine, Malkuth, I am under some form of psychic or occult attack. I make a resolution to look into it and if needed call up a Vajrapāṇi for protection.
“Diametric Motivational Approach (DMA) combines four different reinforcements (social incentive, progress monitoring, immediate reward, and evaluating consequences) in order to reach the possible full potential of every learner. Its modest origin, scientific foundation, and prospective reach could explain its role in sustainable education.”
I found this excerpt doing a search for “diametric”. It is clear that this belongs to the realm, the world, of social conditioning. The statement only touches briefly on karma in “evaluating consequences”. I suspect that many would subscribe to the notions of motivations it portrays. They have a “what is in it for me” flavour. We could rephrase, “kudos, ambition – advancement, satiation of need / greed, effect or affect”. It is self-ish.
They are largely non Buddhist.
Phrased in a way that does not use “big” words and societal justification of how things should be there is an implicit subscription to the common view of how an “advancing” society might be. There are assumptions and expectations, which may or may not be general. They are to an extent society specific.
Many people want to “win” and “be right”, the notion of victory underpins much of “western” society. There are winners and losers.
If someone wants so very badly to win, they can have a very narrow egocentric perspective. They might adopt a win-at-all-cost mentality. The notion of karmic consequence may not enter their mind (or heart) for even a picosecond. They might imagine others to be similarly victory oriented and it may not occur that others cede to them because they can’t be arsed or they want to make them “happy”.
They may not imagine that someone else might think, “if they need to, let them experience the consequences of their actions upon the karmic potential hypersurface.” There may be no judgement simply a willingness to let the other person explore their own folly {or reasons}.
Winning can be diametrically opposed to letting people experience under some circumstances. One of these orientations has more clarity and less obsession. It might be argued that the more passive person is learning to experience what it means to be a loser. It depends upon the motivation. If one consciously steps back and lets the would be victor move forward, it is different from capitulation.
Aikido uses the force, the energy, of the aggressor and makes space for it to manifest. It can be turned back or simply let to pass by.
Most people do not expect an Aikido like orientation, itching for some level of confrontation as they may be.
Those who have victory may be entirely blind to the consequences of that victory both for themselves and others. They may be unable to see the karma caused by the manner of the victory and even if the consequences manifest, they will be unwilling or unable to see or accept the causal link. As a consequence, they are likely to repeat their folly.
I’ll speculate that many assume and expect that I have a similar motivation to them within the common view of the socially conditioned world. I’ll speculate further that it is impossible for me to persuade people to the contrary and that even if I demonstrated by my actions the truth of this difference, they would be unable to see, accept or appreciate this.
There are many different orientations to life and people can judge those who differ, who do not conform, harshly.
Believe it or not a “loser” can in the long run be the “victor”. That which is won is not material and not subject to rational metric. Loss of attachment is in one context victory. Obsession with attachment is to be the ultimate loser. Freedom is surrendered for trophy and kudos.
There is potential, power, beyond the material and societal. Most do not aim for this, which is a shame.
From time to time people can get very caught up in the brouhaha of a moment of confrontational politics. They can become polarised in thinking and very stubborn. They can entrench and vote against something just to spite others or to “prove” a point. The next day they may wake up and for just a fleeting instant have a realisation that they have been hasty and made a bad decision. Then before their eyes the long drawn out tedium of Brexit unfolds. The “wise, mature and measured” presidency of Trump clicks into gear. The thing which they voted for unfolds in ways which they had not ever considered, because calm thought was never a part of the process for them. It is too late to undo what has been set in motion.
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This sentiment of OMG what have I/we done is not restricted to politics it happens on the micro and nano scale in our daily lives. People stick with their “decisions” even if they are stupid in order to save “face”. They can be very stubborn and adamant in their near fervent justifications but deep down we all know when we are kidding ourselves.
I will place a bet; the Trump presidency will not increase world harmony as it is holistically measured.
It seems to me that we all have to endure this strange American psychodrama where everything is a “what is in it for me” deal. That a US president is even gobbing off about Greenland, Panama and Canada is a bit of a shocker. It may indeed be time for the USA to try its hand as being an overt imperial power as opposed to pseudo-covert.
If we can take any lessons from the invasion of Ukraine it is that the bogeyman Russian conventional army can be stopped in its tracks even when it has air superiority. The Russians can probably endure more loss and body bags than the softer western nations. Remember it was the USA which hyped the Russian and Chinese bogeymen to all and sundry.
Now it seems Trump is playing kissy-kissy with Vlad.
OMG what have we done? Is probably not yet a widespread sentiment in the US of A.
I remember watching a news interview with an African man about the January 6th Capitol attack. He said it was just like watching the goings on in his country. The USA was no more sophisticated than a country in turmoil between corrupt factions. Since Independence there had been many coups and changes of government. The rule or law had failed.
The division bell has sounded and the snowball of US isolationism has started rolling. If any sensible calculations were made, there may be an error. Will a man with six prior bankruptcies be the saviour which makes America great again?
There is a part of me which will be pleasantly surprised if it all works out well. That part is not holding its breath.
On a personal note, our residence rights expire in March next year. If the anti-immigration mantra continues to be harshly chanted, we too may have to sling our hooks.
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We reap what we sow…
Now Brits stand in line with their blue passports and wait, just like those from the kingdom of Lesotho, the DRC and Rwanda.
I know let us send our immigrants to Rwanda it is a stable country and safe…with nice backhanders…
After the visit to the orthopaedic surgeon no replacement hip surgery is currently foreseen. Instead, I have been referred to a spinal column – pelvis surgeon following a programmed (S5-L1) MRI. They will use the water (T1) and fat (T2) resonance decay times to determine if the nerve roots are entrained, pressed upon. There is no neuropathy so this seems unlikely. I will be back to square one, I will not pass Go, nor collect £200.
Way back in ~1994 the Imperial College heath centre were trying to figure out why I was having major pain in my lower spine and pelvis. There was very restricted motion of my hips. They mentioned ankylosing spondylitis (AS). It went on for months and they could not figure out what was going on. There was a lot of pain and this preceded my depressive breakdown ~1995-7. The prospect of incurable ankylosing spondylitis as a ~30 year old is not an attractive one.
I am going to ask the general practitioner for a blood test for the human leukocyte antigen (HLA) B27 which is strongly implicated in AS.
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There are some very lengthy forms for genetic consent here in France.
If this suggests AS I may be on the NSAIDs and Tumour Necrosis Factor Inhibitors. One of which is lenalidomide which the wife takes for multiple myeloma.
TNF
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I would like some more clarity before anyone reaches for the knife…
It is probably a time of life thing. There is much hoo-ha about awards ceremonies in the entertainment industry at the moment. I suspect like generations before me I fail to recognise over 60% of the protagonists and I really don’t care who won what gong for which piece of over hyped “entertainment” nor who is snogging who or getting their tits out for the cameras.
It is so profound that I am way out of my depth.
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Over the last year I have emailed various people and have received a most bizarre response, four times now. The reply has contained the expression “thank you for reaching out”. WTF.
What does that mean? Am I in quicksand? Am I in desperation heading for sectioning under the antiquated mental health act? What planet are these people on? Where does this little gem come from?
I don’t know…seems incongruous to me.
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I think it fairly safe to conclude that I am largely irrelevant. I am perhaps only relevant to one human and three cats. That seems to be the reality of life at the moment. It seems likely to remain that way.
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I am clearly out of touch with the world at large…
Dreamyoga 