Author: quantumdreamer

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Travelling With a 511 keV Gamma Emitter Tomorrow

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

We are a four cancer household of two. I have had stage 3 colon cancer and a couple of basal cell carcinomas. The wife has recently had a lumpectomy for breast cancer, stage 1, followed by 15 sessions of radiotherapy. Tomorrow, she has a Positron Emission Tomography {PET} scan to check on the state of play with her multiple myeloma, it will be an 18F – FDG PET scan. The [18F] fluorodeoxyglucose shows sites of hypermetabolism associated with regular cancer or myeloma. It decays by positron emission, an up quark changes to a down quark.

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The annihilation of the emitted positron causes two ~511 keV gamma “rays” emitted at exactly 180 degrees to each other to conserve momentum. The half-life of 18F is around 110 minutes. The drive back from the centre of nuclear medicine is half an hour, we have a smallish Peugeot 207 and it takes place at less than one half life after injection.

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According to what I have read in the scarce literature, this car journey gives me an exposure of ~0.4% of the annual average exposure to radiation.

Perhaps there is a need for more research on what happens when a patient leaves the nuclear medicine centre? There are health and safety assessments for the healthcare practitioners, what about the carers? This is the third journey like this for me. There will be more.

We have an appointment with the radio-oncology specialist and the haematologist week beginning 2nd December.  We will know a little more about what our immediate future holds by the end of that week….

Dice Numerology Mantra and Periodic Table Dream – 20-11-2024

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Here is this morning’s dream segment perhaps following on from my Tibetan Dice dream at the beginning of November. I am in a project to carve some dice out of some Apple wood from our “orchard”.

In the dream I am shown a 3d image of a wooden die rotating in space. I note that the pairs of faces are 1 and 6, 3 and 4, 5 and 2. Each opposing pair adds up to 7 which in the dream I know to be the jewel of awareness 7, or need for guidance. I know that the maximum score of two dice is 12.

In the dream I know that 6 represents Carbon and 1 is Hydrogen. They are chemically fond of each other. Carbon plus Hydrogen is 7.

I picture a periodic table of elements and see 1 – Hydrogen, 2 – Helium, 3 – Lithium, 4 – Beryllium, 5 – Boron and 6 – carbon. I know that 7 is Nitrogen.

I understand that the dice represents the Mantra of Manjushri and chant it in the dream.

Om ah ra pa tsa na dhi.  

Wisdom ripens all sentient beings. Om 1 2 3 4 5 6

In the dream I know that Li and Be are highly reactive but I do not know much about Boron. Lithium is the basis of many batteries but it is very flammable in metallic form. Lithium is 3 mixed abundance.

I understand in the dream that I need to complete the manufacture of the dice and work on the Manjushri mantra.

Dream ends.

Note in Mo the numbering goes Om 6 5 4 3 2 1

Shamballa and the Great White Lodge

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Judging from my recent foray on Twitter/X conspiracy theories continue to circulate. The New World Order where an elite exerts financial control and runs the world is one. Another theory in circulation for nearly a century and a half is that there is a grouping of spiritually advanced beings called by some The Great White Lodge / Brotherhood who work behind the scenes to uplift and advise humanity towards the New Age putatively of Aquarius. In some circles they are spoken of with bated breath and there are more than a handful of people who have claimed telepathic rapport with members of this grouping. There is a doctrine of continuous revelation of “teachings” from Blavatsky and Leadbetter, through Alice Bailey and continuing to this present day.

In one of these recent transmissions given around 2020, the upcoming year 2025 is predicted pivotal and that Shamballa force or “energy” will come swiftly into play. This grouping of beings is, according to the teachings, coming into incarnation and starting to sow the seeds of the new age. They are externalising. The grouping entails people learning the teachings, starting to work with them and so-called initiates of various degree. Those beings having taken the fifth initiation are often referred to as masters or masters of ageless wisdom, sometimes even ascended masters. My scientific mind asks if they ascended, whereto?

I personally read everything with a pinch of salt and as little prejudice as I can muster. I will have by training a measure of scepticism. If one tries to translate there can be more truth than the face value occludes. Just as physical science may be sceptical of new agers, so are new agers suspicious of scientists, like me. {This is my generalisation based on limited personal interaction.}

Given the recent world events and the election in USA, the world is on tenterhooks and very edgy just now. One cannot accurately accuse Trump of being an altruistic and inclusive being. There are two cauldrons of human barbarism via high explosive ordnance regularly in the news. There is also Sudan and Myanmar where humanity is not excelling. Humanity is not acting on climate change and there are those who soap box about it not being real. There is head in the sand complacency. Inconvenient truths are ever the unwelcome leper. People are not willing to forego luxury, they want to have their cake and eat it. They are unprepared to change ways of living as A humanity. It will need to get very bad before most are ready to act. My own theory is that insurance will get so prohibitively expensive and that this will be a key motivator for change.

The prediction for 2025 being pivotal looks to be sound.

In the books by Bailey and Khul the great white lodge is due its centennial meeting in 2025.

Much of the spirit of genuine cooperative internationalism is being eroded by the undermining of the United Nations for petty political national purposes. The EU has been damaged by the UK exit. The urge for the United Nations came after the horrors, bloodshed and destruction of the 1914-1945 war. The USA has not had widespread backyard war since 1865. It seems people have forgotten.

I doubt the new age will be all sunshine and smiles like in Hair, certainly not at first.

This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius

Age of Aquarius

[Bridge]

Harmony and understanding

Sympathy and trust abounding

No more falsehoods or derisions

Golden living dreams of visions

Mystic crystal revelation

And the mind’s true liberation

It seems to me that the urge to good arises only when the shit has truly hit the fan and things have gotten very bad indeed. Humanity does not learn adequately from history and repeats the same mistakes over and over. In a sense there needs to be darkness before light. That darkness might need to be very dark indeed.

Unfortunately, the lead provided by the USA is not a good one, it is dominated by power over, threat, bullying and not diplomacy. The troubles and iniquity there, at home, are not addressed, blame is apportioned. The scapegoat of immigration does not hide the division already present. Blame the people who build your skyscrapers and clean your toilets. Smart.

It would be ironic if the age of Aquarius is the age of widespread flooding due to climate change and sea level rises, water everywhere.

In the blue books opus Shamballa acts by way of a distributive node whereby the impulses and ideas flow out into the global centres of humanity. The “masters” decide what they believe humanity needs and project this outward into wider society, via Shamballa. There is no requirement for humanity to enact what is offered but theory goes that those sensitive to impulse will choose to.

If this so-called externalisation is underway how might human beings respond to members of the white lodge?

I suspect humans being how they are, those in power will act to preserve that power and maintain the status quo, which is always a high inertia thing.

It could get very messy indeed next year.

The Shamballa Thought Form and Nomenclature

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There are certain words bandied about by esotericists and new agers which will grate on the ears of someone trained in the physical sciences. Because therein their use is specific and defined. If you talk about a vibration to a physicist, chemist or engineer it has a very contained meaning. If you say the vibration of a new age it sounds like poppycock, yet people will accept informal “only good vibes, man”.

It is common parlance in esoteric circles to talk about the astral plane, the mental plane and the buddhic plane. Plane to a scientist refers most often to a two dimensional surface or cross section, there are planes of symmetry about which reflections can be made. The misuse of language appropriated by science is a real barrier to any acceptance of esoterica in the mainstream scientific mind, a real turn off, a deal breaker and a red line.

If you speak about someone being polarised emotionally that has no defined meaning. If, however, you describe someone as governed to a large part by their emotions and emotional reactions that is more acceptable. Soap operas are popular because many like the emotional drama as it reflects their lives and how they pan out.  In esoteric parlance the majority of humanity is “polarised” on the emotional/astral plane.

Others are preoccupied with body, form and fornication. They are governed by physical sensation, hormonal response, instinctual behaviours and sexual urge.

Those more detached and less dominated by emotion could be said to be governed by mental or thinking process, these can be straightforward or highly abstract.

We might then loosely talk of three moods or modes of consciousness, carnal meaty, emotional and mental. In esoteric speak the physical plane, the astral/emotional plane and the mental plane. There is no plane simply a state, a mood, a flavour of consciousness where the being’s consciousness mostly is. It is possible to move between flavours. A simple act experienced by a detached mental type could cause an upswelling of emotion.

If you are often angry then you are governed by emotions. There is a lot of anger in the middle East just now, a lot of hot angry heads.

In esoteric circles there are the so called buddhic and atmic “planes” which are more “rarefied” and “above” the three “lower” planes. The buddhic state of consciousness is governed by intuitional mind {and heart}.

The aim of rāja yoga is, in one sense, to try to rise above the mundane, emotional and the pettier aspects of mind. The being then “spends” more time free of wild emotional swings and the desire for physical and sexual gluttony. We might speak of individuals who are largely physically governed, largely emotionally governed, largely mentally governed and largely intuitionally governed. {The intuition here differs from mental guesswork.}

This last paragraph does not use nomenclature which belongs to science. Instead of “plane” we are framing a loose description of a state or type of consciousness. No dimensionality is implied. An ordering, perhaps evolutionary is. The consciousness is increasingly expansive and inclusive as effort is applied and mind opened and broadened. One is not dogged by the incessant unwelcome boners of the physically governed and can allow consciousness and awareness to elevate above the belt and emotional storms.

In the blue books opus By Alice Bailey and Djwhal Khul Shamballa is mentioned as a “place” where the so-called spiritual hierarchy hang-out and meet. Human beings who have watched too many Raiders of the Lost Ark and Tomb Raider will be prone to imagine that Shamballa is a place with perhaps secret entrances. They will look for the kingdom of Shambhala referenced in a special scroll of Kālacakra tantra. The insistence on verbatim and dead letter reading causes people to seek out the resting place of Noah’s Ark. Maybe people are unwilling to accept the prevalence of metaphor and allegory in parable. It seems to me Moses parting the sea is more metaphor than physical “plane” reality.

In the works of Kuhl he mentions that the so-called maters can be “found” high up on the mental plane, near the buddhic.

In other words, people who are large mentally and intuitionally governed might be able to “contact” the masters.

Perhaps Shamballa too is a state of awareness, a level of consciousness and a thought form in which these evolved beings congregate from time to time. When one has risen above and expanded consciousness one might be able to build the Shamballa thought form and “go” “there”.

Unprecedented Dreaming

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For me it has been a useful exercise to group these dreams thematically and see the scope and variety of subject matter. Many people are interested in dreams and things like lucid dreaming. There is an attempt to gain scientific credibility for dream studies using instrumentation and the statistical methods of psychology. Taken as a whole the opus of dreams published here and those not yet published may be unprecedented, and unique. Who else dreams of vajras, patents, lamas and hydrogen bonded water clusters?   

Am I simply an anomaly or is there something more significant at work?

In general people seek to promote their own ideas and profile. The not invented here syndrome can be found on all sides. Group mind is very anti anyone or any idea which does not originate in the group. Outsiders are not very welcome especially if they challenge the status quo or question current operational dogma.

I did, religiously, a Toltec dreaming practice daily at least once a day for eight years. I did it on the Victoria line of a morning. If you can do dreaming practice on a crowded rush hour tube you can do it anywhere. The control has to be good. The intent behind this practice is to connect with the dreamer {Soul or reincarnating Jiva} and then to hand over the steering wheel of the earthly vehicle to her. To live life according to the advice given in dreams, to surrender control.

Subsequent to this I did a meditation called the master in the heart which has a similar purpose, of connection. It builds the Antahkarana, a rāja yoga. One could say that Toltec dreaming draws inspiration down and the yoga builds upwards. They are rose and lotus visualisations. Union or at-one-ment are the goals or aim if you like. It does not require wearing tight leggings or looking fit / hot. It does mean that some measure of letting go of imagined control is needed.

Because I am good at visualisation, I have extended the rāja yoga to “places” beyond any written account. In Toltec terms a steady pictorial visualisation is an active dream in which you imagine and hold fast an image. These dream thought forms tend to stabilize when they are “accurate” and reproducible.  For example, the Sahasrāra chakra or crown chakra is one such visualisation. Opening this chakra and going beyond it is a death practice in which one opens the exit door. In order to do this one needs to stretch the sūtrātman anchoring the life inside the body. It is a risky thing to do, control must be impeccable. I first did this in a detached house in the middle of a wood on a country estate a distance from interruption and people. During the day I was quite alone in a “cabin” in a wood.

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Because I am a scientist by training and I used to train smart young things in science at a top university and at high school sixth form levels. I even had postdoctoral workers. I have kept lab books or dream journals. The rāja yoga or active dream meditations were extensive with some of the thought forms taking weeks and months to build.  What one experiences in passing to a “higher” more “rarefied” state of consciousness is a kind of “membrane” which has to be transcended / popped. Each new state is difficult to hold or stabilize. Yet with practice it can be done. Here is one page from my dream journal.

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In these meditations slight residual corporeal awareness remains but all sense of earth-time vanishes. There is a distant awareness of the room. One continues breathing but unconsciously so. I did record electroencephalograms {EEG} and video for a few of these. The EEG is, aside from very low frequency and amplitude theta, essentially flat despite the visualisation.

These meditations have a sensation of extensive travel to non-mundane “levels” “states” or “places”.

There is no way that I could adequately convey the experience to others. Unless you have “gone” there yourself you cannot know. Of particular assistance was the mantra associated with the Heart Sutra which one can chant in order to change between states when working upwards.

Gate gate, para gate, para sum gate bodhi svaha

Gone gone, gone beyond, gone beyond the beyond, hail the awakening

I was in conscious control doing this during daylight and without drugs or booze.

One needs to take great care to come back “down” and into body consciousness. At first the “path” downwards is as slow as the “upward”. In time one knows the way “home” and this can be done more quickly.

I guess these meditations are a form of white tantra. They are situated at anja and above and have nothing to do with basal tantra. In some later meditations three centres are active, heart, anja and sahasrāra.

In my book active visualisation and 3d {sometimes +} thought form building is active dreaming.

Of course I could be kidding myself, but I somehow doubt that.

This is what I mean by dreamyoga…

Buddha Pronounces the Sūtra of the Total Annihilation of the Dharma

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This prompted by my dream see previous post.

Translated from Sanskrit into Chinese

by

An Unknown Person

Thus I have heard:

    At one time the Buddha, together with bhikṣus and Bodhisattvas, was staying in the city kingdom of Kuśinagara, where He would enter parinirvāṇa in three months. Countless multitudes came to the Buddha and bowed their heads down to the ground. Surrounded by His devotees longing to hear the Dharma, the World-Honored One remained silent, and His radiance did not manifest.

    The venerable Ānanda made obeisance to the Buddha and asked Him, “When the World-Honored One pronounces the Dharma, His awesome radiance is always displayed before and after. Now in this huge assembly, His radiance does not appear. Why is this so? There must be a reason. I pray to hear its implication.”

    The Buddha remained silent, not responding. After Ānanda asked this question for the third time, the Buddha told Ānanda, “After my parinirvāṇa, as the Dharma comes to an end, the way of the māras will thrive in this world of the five turbidities. Māras will appear as śramaṇas so as to undermine and destroy my Way. They will wear lay clothes and delight in the monk’s robe dyed with a mixture of five colors. To gratify ravenous appetites, they will drink alcohol, eat flesh, and kill sentient beings. Devoid of lovingkindness, they will hate and envy others.

    “At that time, there will be Bodhisattvas, Pratyekabuddhas, and Arhats, who energetically cultivate virtue and treat all with respect. Esteemed by all, they will teach and transform others impartially. They will pity the poor and old, and help the needy and unfortunate. They will teach others to revere and uphold the sūtras and the holy images. Kind and benevolent in nature, they will do meritorious karmas. Never harming others, they will disregard any harm to themselves in order to help others. Kind and friendly, they will endure abuse, not protecting themselves.

    “Although there will be such good people, all māra bhikṣus will be jealous of them. They will slander, malign, and banish them. Afterward, individually and as a group, the māra bhikṣus will not cultivate virtue. Temples will be deserted, falling into disrepair then into ruins. Greedy for material wealth, they will accumulate things, not using them to acquire merit. They will sell slaves to work in the fields. Devoid of lovingkindness, they will burn mountain forests, harming sentient beings. Male slaves will become bhikṣus, and female slaves will become bhikṣuṇīs. Devoid of morality, they will engage in sexual debauchery and perversion, whether with men or women. Such people will cause my Way to fade away.

    “Some of them will seek sanctuary in my Order to escape prosecution by the law. They will become śramaṇas but will not observe the precepts or regulations. Although they will, in appearance, recite the precepts on new-moon and full-moon days, they will be reluctant and indolent, not wanting to hear the recitation. They will omit some precepts, not wanting to recite all of them. They will not recite or study the sūtras. If there are readers who do not know the words [in the sūtras], they will claim that they know them. They will not consult the learned ones, but will instead seek fame for self-elevation. They will glorify themselves with fake elegant ways, expecting offerings from others. For committing any of the five rebellious sins, after death, these māra bhikṣus will fall into the hell of uninterrupted suffering. They will then be reborn as animals or hungry ghosts for as many kalpas as the sands of the Ganges. After their sins have been purged, they will be reborn [as humans] in a fringe country where the Three Jewels will not be accessible.

    “When the Dharma is ending, women will diligently do meritorious karmas while men will be indolent and arrogant. Men, having no faith, will not use the words in the Dharma, but will regard śramaṇas as feces and dirt. When the Dharma is ending, gods will shed tears. Flood and drought will ravage, and five kinds of grain will not ripen. Epidemics will be prevalent and many will die. People will endure a hard life, and government officials will exploit them. People will not follow good principles, thinking only of pleasure and strife. The evil ones will become as numerous as the sands in the sea. The good ones will decrease to one or two. As a kalpa is ending, the sun and the moon will be unstable and human lifespan will shorten. At the age of 40, one’s hair will turn white. Men indulging in sexual acts may die prematurely from depletion of their semen, or may live to only 60. While men will live short lives, women will live long to 70, 80, 90, or even 100 years. Faithless people will say that the situation can be permanent.

    “A massive flood will suddenly rise, lasting endlessly. Various species of sentient beings, lofty or lowly, will drown or drift in the waters, and they will be eaten by fish and other sea creatures. Bodhisattvas, Pratyekabuddhas, and Arhats, driven away by the māras, will not convene. [These holy beings of] the Three Vehicles will enter the meritorious grounds in the mountains. There they will live a long life, tranquilly biding their time. They will meet with one another when the god-kings escort Moonlight Bodhisattva to appear in the world. Together they will revitalize my Dharma for fifty-two years.

    “Then the Śūraṅgama Sūtra and the Pratyutpanna Buddha Sammukhāvasthita Samādhi Sūtra will be destroyed, to be followed by all other sūtras in the twelve categories. Their words will not be seen again. The monk’s robe will naturally turn white. When my Dharma perishes, it will be like [the flame of] an oil lamp. When it is dying, its light becomes brighter for a while then dies out. When my Dharma perishes, it will be like the extinction of a lamp. What will happen afterward is hard to describe. Eventually, after tens of millions of years, Maitreya Bodhisattva will descend to this world to become a Buddha. All toxic gases will then be eliminated, and the world will be safe and peaceful. The rains will be harmonious and the five grains will thrive. The trees will be tall, and humans will each be eighty feet tall, with a lifespan of 84,000 years. Innumerable sentient beings will be delivered.”

    The venerable Ānanda made obeisance to the Buddha and asked Him, “What should we call this sūtra? How should we uphold it?”

    The Buddha replied, “Ānanda, this sūtra is called Total Annihilation of the Dharma. Pronounce it to all and let them know its significance. Your merit will be immeasurable, beyond reckoning.”

    The four groups of disciples, having heard this sūtra, were distressed and downcast, but they all activated their resolve to attain the unsurpassed bodhi. Then they made obeisance to the Buddha and departed.

False Monks – Karmic Stones – Car Park Dream – 16-11-2024

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Here is this morning’s dream had after seeing the full moon light up the garden through our glass back door.

I am at some kind of a modern retreat centre. It is in a grand European style mansion. I leave my room and head downstairs into the atrium and start of the dining area. I run into a number of people dressed as Buddhist monks. The colours of their robes are vibrant and the quality of the cloth luxurious. Although they have shaved heads they are heavily made up with lipstick, eyeliner, eyeshadow and face powder. They greet me good morning. It is more than a tad bizarre.

They ask me if I remember Antoine. (A Russian I once met). Yes, a little. He comes into the atrium dressed as a monk with very short dark black hair. I do not recognise him. He too is made up.

They ask me what I want for breakfast. I only want to have some water for coffee. They say that they can’t allow that. I should join the other guests in the new dining block which is their pride and joy. It is the latest addition to the centre. They gesture towards an orangery type of out building the other side of a small canal or river. There I can see well heeled and expensively dressed men and women enjoying a hearty breakfast with fresh juices. These are paying guests.

I say that I only need coffee because I have work to do. Reluctantly they let me help myself to only a large mug of strong black coffee.

I head out and up a nearby hill. I find a pile of large stones there which I have previously placed. These are my rocks of karma which I have carried up the hill. It is time to take them down, put them in my car and dispose of them. I start to roll the stones down the hill. Some of them roll easily and accumulate near the edge of the retreat car park. Others take more effort to budge and roll in a more haphazard manner. These ones after rolling a while vanish into thin air. I do not need to take them home.

I get to the bottom of the hill and start to load the stones into the boot of my car. My car is small and light coloured. The car park is jammed with very little space between the cars. All the cars are pointing up hill except mine. Many are black and like 1960s style American sedans. My car is at the far side of the car park nearer the exit. There are only two rows of cars between me and the exit. I am blocked in. There is a young woman dressed in 1960s style clothes with a VW beetle which is pink. She moves her car to unblock my path. She then gets into another big black car blocking and manoeuvres that so that I can leave the car park.

I drive off out of the car park.

I know that all the cars, cheek and jowl, pointing the wrong way is a wider metaphor for humanity and its glamour and gluttony. I know that that the made up monks are trying to be popular and because of that set a bad example. They are also glamoured.

Dream ends

Being Watched and Residual Fate

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We have two feral cats who live on the compound, Felix who is black and white as you might expect and Gandalf who is grey and now white after the battle with the Balrog. Gandalf is a young, neutered female who is full of beans and Felix is an old warhorse who got her up the duff not long after she arrived here. I captured her and took her to the vets and the local charity paid for her operation for her to be released back here.  

When the wife was recovering from surgery for her breast cancer recently, I fed them both. Gandalf in particular equates me with food. So, I am under constant surveillance wherever I go in the garden. Having a patch of white fur is poor camouflage. Cats think they are clever. I can often feel it when Gandalf is observing me from some random place of hiding / vantage point in our 2 acres. I know. When I turn and look directly at her from say 50 metres, she has on occasion looked surprised and even startled. I have seen her flinch.

I have a kind of sixth sense, which may or may not be reliable.

Of late I have felt some kind of human observation, especially when I am down near the river. It is the wrong time for day for the Korrigans {fairy like beings often associated with water}. The feeling is always of a male, masculine. It has happened a few times in the last few days. But when I have turned to look there has been nobody there that I can see. The line of sight through the gap in the hedge points at a treeline on the hill. It is possible, though unlikely, that someone is watching. What are the crazy Brits up to now? The other day a helicopter flew over our property, stopped directly above, then turned around and headed south. This happened twice in a few minutes. If anybody is watching it must be bloody boring for them. I might set up some trail-cams.

Weird…

Today I have been mulling over if there is any residual fate left for me. The current hypothesis is that I will quietly eke out my days and experience my possibly karmic bad health slowly worsening. I don’t see much left for me to do. I am largely apart from the world. There are cancer and myeloma follow ups for the wife in the next few weeks which include another PET scan. That will advise.

The world is perhaps braced for whatever lunacy might ride forth from Tango man in DC. Maybe he will decree that all Americans must wear tin foil hats on their heads. You might be able to get a special MAGA cap lined with tin foil.

My dreams have pointed at using Tibetan dice for divination. I have made two prototypes from Walnut root. The root is too wet. The ones I made were not fair. It was easy to see that some numbers came up more frequently than others. They were “bent” dice. I have a method of production and nice piece of apple wood for the next iteration.

On the warrior’s path anything is possible. The universe has a bag full of spanners and a playbook full of curve balls. So, you never know for sure. Likelihood is a quiet fade-out to clog popping time.

Fizzling out like a dying sparkler seems quite natural and non-dramatic.

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Sent la pluie comme un été Anglais

Entends les notes d’une chanson lointaine

Sortant de derrière d’un poster

Espérant que la vie ne fut aussi longue

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Electric Blue Heron – Magic – Dream 11-11-2024

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Here is this morning’s dream had after 4.26 AM.

I am in our garden at the corner of the pond closest to the bridge over the river.  Stood on the bank of the pond looking into the pond is a heron.  Our regular visitor often stands here. This however is no ordinary heron. It is a vibrant electric iridescent deep blue. Its plumage is long so that it has a bushy look. I can discern individual feathers which sparkle in the light. I walk toward the heron and it turns to look at me. It does not fly off.

I walk towards the heron and it stays still. I sit down on the bank of the pond. The heron then walks slowly towards me and sits down in my lap as it might a nest. It nuzzles up to me and we start to merge. I incorporate the heron into my being. The blue heron.

I am writing on a clear white postcard with no image on to my brother in law. As I write to tell him about the blue heron the ink vanishes into the paper. I put his name and address in the appropriate place. That ink disappears. I go outside into a UK street and post it in a traditional red round post box knowing that despite the invisibility of the ink it will get there.

I am now at an airport terminal. The woman at the ticket desk reminds me of a New Zealand past colleague of mine P. The ticket desk is very much like an old style railway ticket desk with a movable device for putting money one side and the tickets the other. She ask me what meal I would like on the plane. I say that I would like sandwiches. She asks what filling I say chicken. She says that because of the price of chicken I might have to pay in flight.

She places the ticket in the device and rotates it. The ticket is made out in the name of blue heron and is old style with multiple layers of carbon paper. I board the plane.

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I sit on one side of the aisle. I have a window seat as there is only one seat. To my left are two people sat in modern airplane seats with TV displays. They have their trays down and their lap top computers out. There is a sense they are scientists and techie.

The dream ends.

Heron is a bird of prey, therefore a dreaming symbol of power.

The electric blue is perhaps blue a symbol of humility and understanding.

The Heron is a patience hunter as totem it is about individuality. 

Air travel is awareness with respect to rational ideas and concepts.

The incorporation of the heron feels magical / shamanic – power {the will of the universe} a form of transformation.

There is a sense of old and new butting up against each other.

Inquiry – Inquest – Pow-wow Dream 10-11-2024

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Last night after watching some rugby highlights on YouTube, MasterChef, a bit of the France V Japan game and Strictly Come Dancing we went to bed.

I awoke around 3 AM and then had a relatively short dream in which I was the subject of an inquiry some kind of inquest into what happened and then a knowing and observation that there was/is some kind of ongoing meeting or pow-wow about the findings. Metaphorically the jungle drums are rolling. I had images of several of the people in this inquiry some of whom were known to me ~ two decades ago. There were others who are “famous” or in the public eye.

The contrast between this “dream” and our nighttime entertainment is marked. In no way was I ruminating about this nor have I much. But the dream has brought it to my attention {again}. It is not the first time that I have had dreams about people making inquiries about me.

Nobody {with one exception} has any current knowledge about what I am like, how I behave or how I think. There is nobody I could ask, realistically, to be a referee. Literally nobody has any current knowledge about my abilities and orientation.

If a gang of people gather together to talk about someone when that person is not present is that

  1. Sensible planning and considered responsible behaviour?
  2. A form of conspiracy bordering on bullying?
  3. Rude?
  4. A comforting but relatively pointless exercise? {Look we are doing something about it we are holding an inquiry. We can publish the findings and the matter will be sealed.}

I have pointed out {previously and elsewhere} that I have never appointed nor will I ever appoint a spokesperson or Porte-parole. Anybody claiming to speak on my behalf is therefore a charlatan.

If anyone wants to know what I am thinking, what I want, how I am feeling etc., the answer is obvious. Don’t speculate, guess, suppose or otherwise chew things over.

Ask.