Category: Musings

Not Career Threatening…

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

This blog is not, for me, career threatening. I do not have to worry about people thinking me whacko or fruit loop. It will not affect my ability to get a job nor secure any research grant income. I do not have to publish or perish, nor do I have to suck up to others in order to secure a conference invite which would enable me to profess in public about my work. I do not have to furnish evidence of peer esteem. There is no performance related metric in which I am obliged to demonstrate citation number or H-index.

It is a more moot point whether it might inhibit venture capital funding. Given my age and inactivity that is highly unlikely anyway.

I don’t have hordes of social media followers nor am I in “the” media. I have no media presence which could be cancelled on the baying whim of the horde or hive. I am not at risk of losing monetised social media content.

There is no compulsion for me to firm up or write down my ideas. In an academic sense at the age of 61 it is highly unlikely that I could come up with anything new. I am well past my sell by date and the best before has receded into the dim mists of history.

Over the years I have emailed a dozen or so current academics about dreaming and to date only one has replied. An interaction with me is  perhaps career threatening for them…

On the cards this week is more DIY in the yellow kitchen. I have nearly finished the deep {using chemicals} clean which means we are good to go with the paint and decorate.

Being and old fart is less stressful…

Is Tantra Poppycock ?

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

There is a tendency for people to pooh-pooh things without ever trying them. They may rely on the witness of “some bloke down the pub” or on the collective omniscience of their own peer group.

In the previous post I have put a link to “The Tantra of the Blue-Clad Blessed Vajrapāṇi”

There are no gonads or well-ness orgies therein. No V-scented candles or merch.

I would encourage any doubter to sit alone in a room at night with a few lighted candles and incense sticks and then read aloud the full translation. Many might think that Tantra and magic are poppycock few of these would have the balls to do what I have just suggested.

The only reliable way to learn is personal experience. The true test is in the act and not the words.

Place your bets if you dare…

Approach a Tantra like this one with a wrong attitude and you will FAFO, as the saying goes.

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A lot of people are sure in front of and with their peers, less so in the wee small hours on their own.

The translation of the Tantra linked to in the previous post shows that it is a spell of some considerable age and has many facets some of which are powerful even lethal. It is very well crafted.

I have always approached anything to do with Vajrapani with the utmost respect. My intuitive response to the first of the dreams today was to turn towards Vajrapani practice.

I personally am OK reading the Tantra because I am in control of my emotions and have a generally benign intent. Although I have not been granted any permission from a lineage holder, I am reasonably safe. I have a good instinct and in me there is very little dark or nasty. My self-assessment is probably realistic. For me I am not trying to use it or abuse it.

I have spent a lot of time on my own doing things which might freak others out. I have learned a few things on the way.

A lot of people imagine themselves skill full, clever and resourceful. They may be foolhardy enough to bet their “magic” against that of others. Which in itself shows a poor understanding and a lousy intent.

Somethings are beyond our ken. Each of us would do well to remember that.

I was toying with an idea the other day and I do not know how people might respond.

The question was, “how would people respond if, in all earnest, I offered to perform an exorcism on them?”

I guess it would depend on circumstance. Exorcism is a Tantric rite…

How would you respond if someone offered to exorcise you?

Is exorcism poppycock too?

How Things Pan Out…

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

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I think it fair to say we never really know how things are going to pan out. Sometimes hindsight and retrospect enable us to re-frame our narratives concerning how we got here, wherever here might be.

I can say that my “future” at the turn of the century looked markedly different to how it turned out and actually is now. I doubt even the greatest “seer” could have pictured what happened and how we live our lives now. The divergence of imagined future and subsequent actuality was large.

Aside from what goes on in the dreams, it is more straightforward to suggest an on-going likely trajectory now than it was back then. For a start the number of variables in life are reduced as is the dramatis personae.

Of course there could be an influx of new and new people but given the circles we move in, the likelihood is low.

We will have provisional answers on the major events of 2026 in a few months. One of these question marks we have a good indication on already.

I have been toying with an idea and that is about leaving the wheel of rebirth. In the hagiographies this is often represented as quasi-miraculous perhaps to generate aspiration. Maybe it is a whole lot simpler than that. Perhaps all one needs is to have seen a lot, experienced a lot and to be essentially {in its core meaning} used up. If one is used up and has zero residual ambition there is no driver to take on another body, another slab of meat. One becomes quiescent and has not the impulse to energise another biological form. This idea is perhaps more logical that others. The urge to be reborn ceases and it is no more complicated than that. No desire – no rebirth. No want – no rebirth. No greed – no rebirth.  The list goes on.

Maybe it is a kind of boredom that allows one to escape the wheel. I have been there, seen that, done that and now at last, I have the t-shirt. I have learned along the way.

What hindsight may also suggest is the role others have had in our lives. How we perceive that role may differ from how they do. We may learn a little about for what purpose we called them forth into our lives. We may have missed the point entirely. Too often we berate and blame instead of considering. The way modern life is lived, lacks patience. In our haste we miss so very much.

Maybe that is it, no more drama…

Siddartha said, “stop being such a drama queen and like a cart follows an ox you will find satisfaction, serenity and peace. In time, after you have discarded your pink feather boa and ludicrous overreactions, you will be free.”

I have an inkling that many obsessed with complexity and intellectual masturbation fail to see the buddha-field of simplicity…

You never know what life has in store for you, nor how things will pan out.

All you every really have is now…

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Chapter VII: The Venerable (Arhat)

90 There is no suffering for him who has finished his journey, and abandoned grief, who has freed himself on all sides, and thrown off all fetters.

91 They depart with their thoughts well-collected, they are not happy in their abode; like swans who have left their lake, they leave their house and home.

92 Men who have no riches, who live on recognised food, who have perceived void and unconditioned freedom (Nirvana), their path is difficult to understand, like that of birds in the air.

93 He whose appetites are stilled, who is not absorbed in enjoyment, who has perceived void and unconditioned freedom (Nirvana), his path is difficult to understand, like that of birds in the air.

94 The gods even envy him whose senses, like horses well broken in by the driver, have been subdued, who is free from pride, and free from appetites.

95 Such a one who does his duty is tolerant like the earth, like Indra’s bolt; he is like a lake without mud; no new births are in store for him.

96 His thought is quiet, quiet are his word and deed, when he has obtained freedom by true knowledge, when he has thus become a quiet man.

97 The man who is free from credulity, but knows the uncreated, who has cut all ties, removed all temptations, renounced all desires, he is the greatest of men.

98 In a hamlet or in a forest, in the deep water or on the dry land, wherever venerable persons (Arhanta) dwell, that place is delightful.

99 Forests are delightful; where the world finds no delight, there the passionless will find delight, for they look not for pleasures.

Dhammapada (Max Muller)

Pitching a Novel?

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

Last night we watched the last episode of “Stranger Things”. The last section was long and painfully drawn out filled with American saccharin and apple pie idealism. It was a bit “pass the sick bag”. We had to wait for the predictable ending for quite a while. It went out with a damp squib. No tenterhooks. Overall “Stranger Things” has been enjoyable, original and different.

Which led me to thinking, “could I do better?”

Anyway I am back to the notion of a novel. The theory being that my USP is that I once was a kosher scientist and I have a fairly deep understanding of the occult. I am no longer a practicing scientist in that I do not earn a living therefrom. There are not many like me.

That brings me back to the whole publishing minefield where many publishers require an agent. There are scam-self publishing houses or one can do Amazon-Kindle self-publishing. There are people who take advantage of the gullible who want to be published.

I know enough about how self-publishing works.

There is a catch 22.

Why write a book if it will be a complete ball ache to get published?

Is it possible to get an in principle interest from either an agent or a publisher before starting a book?

An advance seems impossible.

The big drawback in all this is getting enthusiasm for promotion. I am not sure I could be arsed.

My pitch to venture capital success rate remains very good. But I had to write a business plan for that, even if it did not get read until after the pitch. There was a manuscript of sorts with graphs, projections and shit like that.

I am pretty confident that I can come up with something original. Would it be too highbrow? Maybe. Perhaps there would not be enough intrigue, violence and shagging though. Mobile ‘phone use could be a little too sparse.

I am really not turned on by the idea of being a published author, in the book sense. I don’t want to be the story teller aiming at a world with three waterfalls…I don’t know what motivates others. There is a lot of “advice” on line about how to pitch, how to go ahead. Some of it seems very scam…

A novel would give me something to do. It is statistically unlikely to generate any revenue. The Kindle route is cost free but they hassle you for USA tax documentation. There is a lot of spam. The last dealings I had with prospective agents were unsatisfactory. I have had responses from small niche publishing houses and I did get one or two indications of at least an alleged willingness to read a manuscript. The responses were not rote bulk nor at the time AI bot generated. I still have these emails.

I have previously been interested in testing the limits of possibility…you never know where an idea can go, what it might evolve in to…

Hmnn…

Spiritual or Soular Challenges and Karmic Merit

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I have been mulling over this subject on and off for a number of days now. It is surprisingly difficult to put into words nevertheless I will have a go.

I’ll start this off with a postulate.

In any given lifetime we are presented with challenges which we are required to face in order to evolve. We must endeavour to engage with these with as much willingness as we can muster and try to face them and learn therefrom. They are pivotal to our development as incarnate beings and are a requirement of/for our Souls. They are a part of the lessons we chose to try to learn for ourselves in selecting our birth.

Whether or not you agree with this postulate does not matter especially in the context which it sets up. It frames life no matter if you believe it or like it or think it is poppycock. If the postulate holds it has consequences spanning lifetimes. If you do not accept the postulate and yet it still holds it has consequences. If it is a pile of bull I made up because I was bored and it is raining outside there are fewer consequences. You are “free” to act like an arrogant arsehole should so wish.

Place your bets…

Modern life has boundaries and laws. It has social contracts and is heavily laden with social expectations. There are the itchy back game endless transactions. There are thousands of “shoulds” and “oughts”. These are to an extent culture and peer group specific. Some things are expressed in law and in general it is wise to follow these laws or you could find yourself fined or in gaol. These are “hard” and are relatively non-negotiable. The shoulds are more bendy. The requirement to behave according to a “moral” code is partially enforced by humans and peer groups. These are subject to the vagaries of time. It is no longer socially acceptable to black up for a black and white minstrels show. Morals are flexible and some consider themselves less beholden than others. But you can get cancelled and if you hang out with a famous paedophile in your Y-fronts it can change your future.

Often that which seems too good to be true, is. People like shiny things and fail to appreciate the price attached. The free lunch is a cornerstone of mythos.

The Soular challenges that I am thinking about are not required by law, nor by peer pressure , nor social compliance. Even if you might “get away with it”, by not doing it, these challenges ask that you rise up above that mentality. In listening to your Soul you have no choice but to be utterly impeccable even if that has to it a seeming cost, pecuniary, social or otherwise. The reward is karmic merit gained and a heart enlivened because you have been at your impeccable best.

Doing things when there is no pressure to do them and when nobody else sees them is not something which transactional beings tend to do. There is no apparent immediate reward. There is no “look at me” kudos to be had.

Simply an impeccable and often compassionate act is sufficient in and of itself. It is satisfactory. There is no drum roll, no heralding trumpets. No great big drama.

The acts which gain karmic merit are often to be found in overcoming selfishness, pettiness and greed. They may be invisible to others. But karma has eyes which see more than the profane. These acts are nearly always about “getting over your-self” and they engender a wider humility and understanding of the universal and not the me-personal. Most of all these acts are about attitude. If the attitude in benevolent and not seeking of personal reward, the acts have a nice hue, a rich colouration. There is a subtle perfume to them. They smell nice.

But in order to engage with these challenges one is required to overcome social fear. Often one has to stand out from the crowd in some way. One has to make some kind of an integrity based stand. Which may have a price. In most cases the barrier to doing the act has been bigged-up to gargantuan proportion. Only hindsight concludes, “what was all that fuss about?”  The mind and little-self does its best to dissuade.

Most of these challenges are to do with mind and perception is some way.

Spiritual and Soular challenges can be very subtle indeed. The opportunity is readily missed in the maelstrom of modern living.

There is no, “what is in it for me?”

This mentality of reward and even bribery of a kind is far too prevalent in our times. It does not generate karmic merit.

To do a genuine, as opposed to for show, 180 degree shift away from personal reward is not to the liking of most.

But if you want to evolve you need to change the way you think, the way you act and the way you orient towards life. Otherwise you will stay the same. It is not rocket science.

If you have been lucky enough to have a relatively easy incarnation then chances are it will have a number of subtle yet very important challenges for you to face. You gave yourself the wherewithal so to do…

You can try to run and hide from these challenges but that is not an evolutionary attitude, is it? If you are too important to face your challenges and learn from them what does that say about your attitude to learning and evolution? Maybe you are already so evolved that you are above all that…

Evolution after all is just for the plebs….

Someone Else’s Mind – Stranger Things

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We have recently been watching the fifth series of “Stranger Things”. We have one episode to go. The worlds of Stranger Things and Henry’s mind might seem a bit odd, fanciful and far fetched to many. I joked with the wife this morning that it is pretty tame compared to our dreamworld. The “upside down” outside our fence and garden gate is full of various unpleasantness. Which leaks through via various news broadcasts and on-line newspapers. There is nasty stuff and are nasty people out there. We live in “the right way up”.

If you read and concentrate upon the dreams in the previous post it is likely to do something to your mind. It will perhaps unsettle. To me it is normal, it is slightly more unsettling for the wife. I am more at home with visionary art and spaced out verbal recollections. I can answer University Challenge art questions if the picture is from William Blake or Hieronymus Bosch.

In a sense this blog is a kind of window into what goes on in my mind, my head. It does not however show the “normal” state of my mind. This is largely silent and thought free. It cannot be written down. What occurs here comes only after I have decided to think or verbalize. I live largely in what I term the place before thought.

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I am entirely capable of having the kind of dreams, which might knock others off kilter, and without a second thought I can put the coffee on to brew. I know when I am dreaming and when I am so-called awake. I can also differentiate waking dreams or visions. I can function “normally” whilst having a vision. An example being the ability to teach Chemical Reaction Kinetics whilst a vision was resident and “in play”.

We rarely get detailed glimpses direct into the mind of others. This is partially because our minds are so god-dammed noisy with internal dialogue, worries and a list of devoirs. We live in our “own little worlds” and often try to fit others into the rules pertaining to how that world is assembled and assimilated in our own “minds”.  Our assimilations may differ. Our versions of observable reality may diverge from one another. More often than not we insist on our own assimilation and sense making. What makes sense in our “the right way up” may be to others the “upside down”. We may be adamant that everybody else has gotten the wrong end of the stick. Only our rules of perception and assimilation apply. Only our interpretation is correct.

The mind of another may unsettle us because of its unfamiliarity.

In a sense the dreamworld presented in this blog is other. If it is only a dreamworld it has no significance at all in the normal “real” world. The dreamworld, however it is produced and wherever it comes from, need not impinge on/in your reality out there in the “upside down”.

There are few portals or gateways between our “the right way up” and your world. They exist tangentially. Only occasionally do we go through to go to the hospital or supermarket. We usually make it back without being attacked by a Demogorgon or two.

The only potential problem arises is when the dreamworld here has a significance which is more significant that just dreams, just a dreamworld…

Cunning Ploy Dreaming Snippett – 02-02-2026

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One of the recurring themes in my dreams along with “somebody else’s mess” is the “cunning ploy / plan” theme.

This theme arose in the dream last night concerning two people I once knew.

There is a certain kind of person which cannot resist trying to be cunning and using “clever” tricks to manipulate and seek some kind of advantage or gather some information. They have a play book of tricks and methods and a modus operandi which changes little. There is an expectation that these plays or ploys can be relied upon to secure similar results. They often have some kind of negotiation in mind usually of a transactional nature.

In never occurs to them to be open straightforward and honest. Their ploys can be “relied” upon to secure similar results.

I am pretty bored with the whole cunning ploy theme…Yawn…

If you play a cunning ploy delivery with a straight bat it can cause the ploy to go badly awry. No cunning required on my part just play straight.

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My mother tried to elicit me to cajole her to come to my second wedding. She said that it was difficult and far for her. I replied that if that was the case then I would understand if she did not come.

Many people try to get some emotional manipulation leverage based upon “rules” to which they imagine others will comply. When it goes pear shaped it can be difficult. I can think of a quite a number of cases when other people’s cunning ploys have gone very badly wrong because  I have played straight and not played their game. These ploy attempts have had major consequences.

Some people simply cannot conceive of being simple and straightforward. It is just beyond their ability.  They do not approach with open hands or open hearts; they are after something.

It is just yawn-some.

For a while I was in “pastoral care” and many students tried to take advantage of the system / me. Unfortunately for them I was in the habit of taking notes and had a good memory. I was prone to repeat their prior narratives to them. Quite a number of schemes failed and the only people who knew were me and them. Confidentiality was important.

Quite why the “cunning ploy” theme is resurfacing again I do not know, but it has been noted by me…

 Yawn…