Category: Musings

For the Avoidance of Doubt

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

It is possible that people can overinterpret things and see meanings which are not there. They may imagine personal messages which do not exist.  

This blog is discursive {at best} and exploratory. It is often quasi-stream of consciousness. It is not intended as any form of guidance or teaching. There are ramblings etc.

I have a lot of time on my hands…

If you are imagining that I am in some way providing you a steer, a lead or any such thing then you had better consult a psychology professional or better still call the mothership. Maybe it is time that you were beamed back on board?

–

–

I am a retired person living on below the fulltime EU minimum wage and my time is allocated to gardening, DIY, cooking and watching TV. On occasion we go for a walk up on the coast. That is the physical plane reality. I rarely meditate these days because I no longer need to.

I am hopefully due a hip replacement operation soon and that is as far as my ambitions go. It is not very complicated.

If you are imagining anything more grandiose you might not be well grounded.

I am not seeking anything…I will struggle with more than any fleeting contact with people “off compound”. I am unlikely to leave the department before end of summer next year.

That is all…

Abnormal – discard all anomalous records

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

————————————–

I found these instructions on line:

Delete Specific Anomaly

You can delete individual anomalies using one of two methods:

1. Delete Directly

Step 1: Click on Archived from the navigation bar in the Anomalies section to view all archived anomalies.

Step 2: Locate the anomaly that you want to delete and click on the Delete icon located on the right side of the anomaly.

Step 3: A confirmation modal window will appear, click on the Delete button to permanently remove the anomaly from the system.

2. Delete via Action Menu

Step 1: Click on the archived anomaly from the list of archived anomalies that you want to delete.

Step 2: You will be directed to the anomaly details page. Click on the Settings icon located at the top right corner of the page and select “Delete” from the dropdown menu.

Step 3: A confirmation modal window will appear, click on the Delete button to permanently remove the anomaly from the system.

After clicking on the Delete button, your anomaly is successfully deleted and a confirmation message appears on the screen.

—————————————-

In “A” level science exams candidates are given a data set for which they can be asked to find the mean and standard deviation. Sometimes those data sets contain an anomalous point. Candidates are encouraged to discard or discount this datum point from fitted {by eye} lines of best fit and out of statistical analysis. They can be asked to justify why they discarded the anomalous data point.

From an early age the anomalous is suspect and can be discounted when it is convenient so to do.

Without being dramatic or upset about it I find it ok to speculate that I am abnormal. One could even go so far as to call me an anomalous being. As such it is entirely justifiable to ignore and otherwise discount anything I might say or do.

I am not glamoured by my abnormality nor do I find it a turn on. I am simply not normal. No biggie. No drama. I am not special either.

Life goes on just fine there is no need to take me into account. Even if one did it would not sway the average or normal much at all.

I am comfortable with this detached analytical thinking. There is no supposed to or should.

One of the things that I have pretty much stopped doing is “reaching out” to others. Experimentally this causes a lot less hoo-ha and drama. I don’t like to cause people problems so by not impinging on their lives or otherwise inflicting myself I limit any harm I might do. I am less harmful. I cause no perturbation.

The good thing about a blog is that if you don’t like it, it only takes a click of a mouse to leave. If someone arrives by accident they can leave intentionally PDQ.  Any accidental perturbation is largely remedied in an instant. If people want to have a look-see they can, there is no pay wall, no fee and I am not tarting for anything.

If people want to read my ramblings that is up to them…

I’ll make a comment here. Modern psychology and psychiatry would very likely medicate and or section under the mental health act many of the figures in religion, the very pillars thereof. The visionary basis of “religious” experience might be diagnosed as an illness or a syndrome. Someone could win a prize and have it named after them.

It too would be abnormal though history has suggested {with hindsight} that it has also been significant even in a socio-political sense.

Normal is not always best…

–

–

He be up yon Wurzel tree…

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

Stalker’s Rule

5th aspect

“Whenever faced with impossible odds, a warrior opens himself up to the world around him by allowing his mind to become occupied with the little details of life.”

Dreamer’s addendum.

“That way he can interpret the waking dream all around him.”              

————

It stands to reason that if you prefer to hide in the shadows in order to get some “advantage” over another being you are a creature of the dark. You are not a being of light. Tenebris. Darkness, these have imbued you and to an extent rule you. You have become like the eponymous vampire afraid of day light, afraid of being open, truthful and honest. You fear the dawn. You are forever seeking your next salacious feed. You may think you are being cunning and clever but the darkness has advised you thus. The darkness has his salesman’s foot across your threshold and has the door to your heart and soul jammed ajar. You have debased yourself. You are a pervy voyeur, a sneaky peeker, a surreptitious coward snivelling around afraid of honesty and openness. You belong in Mordor with its acrid sulphur.

Because of anthropomorphic climate change the moles have been gadding about. The little buggers have been busy with the warm weather. As one of my last pre-operative  gardening stints I have been out laying mole traps. Since I started trapping moles about five years ago I have learned much. I have a mental map of all the “old” galleries and can tell if a new mole hill is an end of tunnel pile up or a nodal crossroads with a fair degree of accuracy. If you are laying traps it is absolutely imperative that you use gloves upon which there is no human scent. The smell can be on the inside. A drop of human sweat renders a trap ineffective until it is cleaned and allowed to develop an earthy aroma. I have 21 traps, 21 jewels, all of which are now set in my land, my world. I have several 3 way nodes and one 4 way node trapped. Usually I wait one week. You can sometimes smell above ground before unearthing the trap if it has been successful. This particularly so in summer. So if the little buggers do continue to ferret around in the darkness they may find the jaws of a trap closing upon their nosey noses. There is no obvious way for a mole to know where my traps are. They are just looking for salacious juicy worms to chew upon. All they care about is worms and filling their bellies.

—

And I´ll be happy to see
Those nice young men
In their clean white coats..

—

Time to Recalibrate Your Detectors…

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

When people change it can be difficult for others to a) note the change b) accept the change and c) assimilate that change in to new ways of perception, assimilation and interaction. People often interpret others though a largely historical lens and previous shared social context. They struggle to see the changed spots on a leopard, even if that leopard is now a zebra. Dogma suggests that it is impossible. It cannot be so.

A while back I ran into someone whom I knew from one context. I had the feeling that she had not yet noticed I was different. I knew that she was a highly intelligent nuclear physicist who had worked at the nuclear physics facility in Dubna. I suggested that she recalibrate her detectors in respect of how she was perceiving and hence interacting with me. She listened and got the notion. I too started from a more flexible view of her. As a consequence we managed to communicate fairly well with each other. It took a little while to “find” each other.

People can have very fixated views of others, fixated opinions and hard wired biases. The better we think we know someone the more rigid are our views of how they are and might still be.

For a long time I was an evangelical vegan. This lasted for not far off a decade. Eating a beef steak in front of someone you have lectured, evangelised to and otherwise bored shitless is a true game changer and a re-arranger of perception. Often some radical enactments of drama are impossible. I have joked that were I to tip up wearing Buddhist monastic robes unexpected and visit an erstwhile acquaintance it could be a bit of a mind fuck for them. Although I could perhaps buy some garb on line I would not wear them as I have not been ordained in this life.

There are some things that are very hard for people to accept. This is because to do so would require and perhaps initiate a radical change in the narrative which they have held. It could re-arrange the sense they make of the world and the story or legend they have told themselves.

How might a science professor interact with a high lama tulku incarnation? What is the correct protocol? What is the correct ordering of cheese?

Between ~12 and 12:35 this afternoon, French time, I experienced a phenomenon of visual disturbance in which the perceptual field, mostly left eye, started to warp and acquire an unusual brightness. I usually associate changes like this with something big and impactful happening in the web of life. Something of import, somewhere, was going on. I was standing on our small indoors scaffold painting the ceiling. It is best to take great care whilst these phenomena occur, especially if one is up high. I was near my limit of standing, getting close to two hours painting. Tiredness leads to accident and with osteoporosis a fall is unwise. I am not as steady as I once was. I can only stand for around two hours at a time now before the fatigue and pain overwhelm. It saves us money if I paint and we want the room finished before I have my total hip replacement fitted. For me there are maybe one or two more sessions of painting before I stop. The nurse was adamant that I should do no DIY in the week leading up to the operation. A scratch or cut could increase the infection risk on my right leg.

My mobility is not good. People might remember me differently and to see me hobble could change perception a little. How and in what other ways they might recalibrate their detectors might be moot. If you only knew me in one context it might be difficult to accept me as a pikey retired person.

I’ll speculate that very many people are in no way as open minded as they imagine themselves to be. They can be very set in their ways, their perceptions and try to shoe-horn observables to fit prior narratives.  

In general people do not believe that their detectors need recalibration even when experimental evidence suggests that they might. Only something major might prompt the start of the recalibration. Some will need a huge discrepancy to even accept as a hypothesis that their detectors need a tweak, a recalibration. Even though said detectors might be out of warranty.

Fake or True – Our Times

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

As  a creature of the past I find a number of modern things uncomfortable. These include near endless email requests to give a one out of five rating for some thing or other. If you want my feedback it is simple, please stop sending me fucking endless requests for star ratings. Also interminable prompts for updates. Why don’t you get it right the first time?

Of late I have seen, primarily on UK based tv, women with slug like lips caused perhaps by injection and with obviously fake plastic eyelashes glued on. It is so sad, so unnecessary and so fake. I am in many ways glad that I am not in the business of “courting” as a twenty year old. Were I back in the university business I might find it hard to restrain my opinions. I would get cancelled, sharpish.

–

–

The world is beset with drones, both battlefield and the voices of politicians. I really do not like the tone of Trump’s voice. It drones on and on. Everything is prone to cloning and it is difficult to discern reality or novelty. I’ll speculate that genuine novelty is unacceptable because it is not fake enough.

People stalk each other in social media, on-line and may conclude on the basis of what they read. There is no reliable way of knowing {for example} if this blog is a piece of creative writing, a dream project I once thought of during a mushroom trip.  How many creative dreams can I knock up?  I could be talking out of my arse. I could be having a laugh. I have a good imagination, so I am told.

Short of in real life interaction an element of doubt might exist. People like to be sure, definitive. But these days reliable truths may be scarce on the ground. According to my understanding of internet dating people have quasi-fictional profiles. And so it is with so many things, they have to be spun, dressed up and public relations ready. Something simple and real might lack the gloss and therefore become incredible, difficult to believe because it differs from the AI inspired clone-think. One must have a glossy blurb, a profile, a BS paragraph or two. One must be all bigged-up and shiny like iron pyrites. 

Our times might fail to recognise truth or reality even if it smacked us around the face with a large wet pollack. If it does not look enough like the tosh which pervades, it is therefore unacceptable.

The fakeness of our time has opened up an entire new stream of karma. If you are stupid enough to indulge in unnecessary plastic surgery you are starting a long, multi-lifetime, karmic problem for yourself. Such an opinion would not be widely accepted nor popular. This does not however prevent it from being accurate.

This fake show-and-tell way of being is very detrimental to the pursuit of liberation and perhaps more generally to mental health and state of mind. There is a tale about lemmings following each other over the edge of a cliff.

“I do not want to miss out on being a self-harming plastic lunatic, I must get some plastic tits, a Prince Albert and a full tattoo sleeve. I will self-identify as an androgenous elven-dwarf half breed hermaphrodite from Andromeda. ”

“This will solve all my problems you can call me Jemimah-Geronimo-4XQ!!”

As I mentioned I consider myself a creature of the past…18 million years ago I came here from the planetary system around Sirius.

People can make all sorts of claims; they can make shit up about others. It is very difficult to know what is fake and what might have a residual grain of truth…

Today the UK newspapers are full about a very first world problem. Some geezer on a train started stabbing. What about the 60,000 plus deaths in Gaza? What about the starvation in Darfur?

Surely it is not too hard to disarm a single assailant with a knife in a confined space? I would fancy my chances even crippled as I am.

See I have just maid a claim that may never be tested in real life. People do that all the time…it is a good job that Trump is taking in the vast tracts of white South African post-apartheid refugees…thank God for that…..

Our times are beset with a whole new set of problems and difficulties which humanity may struggle to traverse and survive…

Pyjamas and Preparation

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

The places where one is most likely to bang into someone by accident are nodal points, points with high average footfall. These include hospitals, airports, train stations and supermarkets inter alia. I have in the past met people “by accident” at such places. When we went back to the UK recently I knew that there was an increased chance of bumping into to someone I once was acquainted with at Gatwick airport. To meet them in rural Britanny is unlikely. My “circle” extended briefly into the “circle” of others. No such meeting occurred. Fate did not see fit to organise an encounter. Of course in spy novels and films “chance” meetings can be engineered. Were I to bump into someone from my past locally, I would err on the idea of engineered rather than chance. The only people we meet in the local supermarket are the wife’s hairdresser and the geezer we bought the house off. These are spatially likely given our normal trajectories.

Living like we do our normal circle extends 20 km in radius with extensions to 50km for occasional hospital and coastal visits. The chances of me crossing circles is zero outside these ranges.

At the last hospital visit the nurse said that I am not allowed to be “balls out” and must therefore buy some pyjama bottoms at least. I bought some at the M&S outlet in Gloucester Quays. I have some stumpy short fat bloke track suit bottoms on order and a new pair of Crocs in the post. They were not doing a pre-diabetic special offer on the joggers. My hospital wardrobe is taken care of. I can wear my “Trust me I am a Doctor” T-shirt, my psilocybin zwitterion and “breaking bad” ones too. As a rule of thumb hospital temperatures are adjusted to encourage the growth and spread of penicillin resistant bacteria and  upper respiratory tract viruses. I need to get my flu and covid vaccinations done next week. Hospitals are always too hot.

Will they shave my chest again to put cardiac monitors on during the operation? Yeah probably… more itching.

We need to look at placing the second mattress on our bed. To get a loo seat raising contraption and perhaps a litter picker for dropped things. We have a prescription for a hospital bed which will sit here downstairs in the office. We will have the local nurses visit; they are already practically a part of the family. I’ll get a yellow sharps box for my pre-filled heparin syringes post hoc. I was OK injecting myself last time. We have got laxatives to counter the morphine induced arse-corks. I need to check the plumbing to the cess pit. I have 15m of plumber’s rods. This may be done next week.

The initial guess from the nurse is that I will go in on a Friday for the slice dice and drill. Assuming I can stand day one, I will probably be sent home Sunday. The physio thinks I will be housebound for two weeks. After that I may be able to get into a car. In France the pharmacies are shut Sundays so we need to make sure that I have a good opiate stash.

I am due a coronary CT-angiogram next week. Because of the holy Trinity of fat, fags and booze there is a mild concern. This may or may not turn up something, it could be that last obvious showstopper.

This morning I was pleased to wake up without some weird London based stress bunny dream. It seems so far away, another world. I am 95% sure now that I won’t go ahead with the idea of trying to apply for a quantum telepathy patent whilst I am incapacitated. It would only make the dramatics worse.

I don’t know why I keep getting these dreams. I personally think I am at peace with all that palaver and have been for years. Maybe I am kidding myself. Maybe the dreaming is just showing the unresolved issues of others.

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

If I had a pretty head I would try not to worry it.

Only a few weeks to go and the pepper mill in my right hip might be replaced with something less frictional and painful. I may even be able to put my own socks on…

It is probably best to have no expectations. The only thing for sure is that it will in some way be different and I will have wound closures and bruising. A physio is due to visit soon after the butchery.

Three weeks from today…I could be on my way to the block…

How We View Things – Jeans or Robes?

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

Although there is advice to never judge a book by its cover that is exactly what most people do. They place stock in appearance. They also pay a lot of attention to the ubiquitous omniscience of “they”. After all “they” are the font of all wisdom.

I know that it is the simplest thing for me to don my £1000 leather jacket, put on a freshly ironed grandad shirt, my black leather shoes and put my Ray Ban “Matrix” sunglasses on top of my head. I can walk into a store or building around here and will be treated differently. Instantly they will imagine I am not “from around here”. I know that I can walk with confidence up to reception at a posh hotel and be treated well. My mother used to joke that I was “to the manor born” in the sense that I was not in awe of posh settings. I have confidence. We could suggest that comes courtesy of Nchanga Consolidated Copper Mines paying my school fees at a mid-range English preparatory school in Gloucestershire.

–

–

How we treat others depends on many things. If we have a sense of entitlement and imagine ourselves grand we might treat others like plebs. From our Olympian view others are beneath us. We may disrespect others and treat them poorly feeling justified in doing so. We may deign to offer an audience to the serf or underling. We may imagine ourselves the purveyor of knowledge to the ignorant or superstitious.

There is a joke here in that I was aiming to incarnate in Bhutan, I saw the dragon of Cardiff and found my mother’s womb there. Hence I wear jeans and not monk’s robes. I know beyond any doubt that if I met people with whom I have had a passing acquaintance whilst dressed in robes, without warning, it would be for them a non sequitur, and perhaps a complete mind fuck. They would not be sure as how to react or behave. They certainly would not offer me a scarf for me to offer them in turn, blessings therewith.

If I wore robes people would instinctively behave differently towards me. A book covered in Levis’ 501s reads differently.

I’ll wager that people may struggle to understand how I view things. In the previous post I mentioned that gossiping about someone is a form of bullying. If we gossip among ourselves we do not imagine it bullying. If we see it in a soap opera on TV we clearly see bullying. Why is East Enders different from our “normal” reality?

Although some may guess that they understand how I think and where I am coming from, I’ll postulate they are mistaken. Unless they have done two decades of meditation, read and understood a thousand science journal articles, read hundreds of patents and extensively researched the occult and Buddhist literature they are unlikely to have a similar intellectual background or mind.

But people can judge me and “understand” me from what I choose to put up in a hobby-blog. You might judge this book from the internet cover you are currently perusing. You may imagine that I am something like I was a couple of decades ago. The sense of humour might be similar but that is about it.

To reiterate.

I have never appointed a spokesperson or port-parole. Anyone claiming to speak on my behalf, know my mind or what I want; is a liar and a charlatan. Such a person is also a bull shit artist and very untrustworthy. If they are claiming any form of current acquaintance that is extremely unlikely given that I live a hermit-like life.

If we make shit up about people that is evil and a form of bullying. It can be slanderous and libellous. If my reputation is damaged by made up shit it prevents me earning a living or helping sentient beings.

–

–