Category: personal development

Solving a “Problem” or Digging a Karmic Abyss?

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

There is no way that you can convince the cunning and the clever of the existence of karma nor of its consequences perhaps spanning lifetimes. The cunning imagine that they can always get out of gaol free.

–

–

The only way they can learn is by experiencing the karmic consequence of karma themselves. Karma cannot be taught it must be experienced and hopefully understood.

——————-

It is up to you if you think the above is some hippie-trippy shit or not.

At the moment deep malevolence is being visited upon two countries, Iran and Ukraine. The justification for Iran is that the Israelis in particular do not want them to have nuclear weapons. The Americans have gone along with this reasoning.

What they are in fact teaching is the need for nuclear weapons.

“If we had nuclear weapons they would not bomb the fuck out of us…”

The message is crystal clear. Negotiations with the fickle do not work. A nuclear deterrent might.

I’ll postulate that neither the Israelis nor the Americans are winning friends. They do not care overmuch, they have the big arsenals.

It is just possible that in solving the “problem” of Iranian nuclear weapons they are digging a karmic abyss. A sore which will fester for generations to come. A short term “win” may lead to a never ending grievance and problem.

The cunning may think that decapitation works but it may give rise to a hydra.

There is no way that you can ever convince the cunning and the clever of the error of their ways. It is by definition impossible.

So many people seek a reactionary short cut, an ersatz, a convenient band aid solution which buys apparent time. All they are doing is giving time for the so-called problem to evolve and  grow. To use the Boris idea of Whack-a-Mole does not eradicate the cause. It merely deals with visible “symptoms”. If you are cunning you would back yourself to be able to keep whacking moles for ever. Eventually you may have way too many plates spinning in the air. The moles may breed.

Often avoidance digs the karmic abyss ever deeper. In the profound darkness of a karmic abyss you can easily lose sight of what caused the problem in the first place. The tendency when in a hole is foolishly to keep on digging. You are committed to the hole, the “solution”.

If you are on a spiritual journey the normal faulty reasoning of society no longer works. A supposed tempting shortcut is not wise, more often than not it is a temptation. A way of looking better and coming up smelling of roses abnegates responsibility something which is karmically poor. Karma does not care about your apparent kudos, importance or reputation.

Karma is about learning the authenticity of your Soul and aiming to live life thereby.

Quite often problems are made up in the mind and can be delusional. Self-importance and arrogance are core ingredients in many so-called “problems”.

Whenever faced with a quandary or a problem a useful question  is:

Am I solving an apparent “problem” or am I digging a karmic abyss?

Quarantine the Dreamers!!

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

One can view things through many lenses. For example in the start-up I mentioned no investor made any money, some banks got interest payments, some products got sold and used, some people had dinner on the table because of jobs.

If I had not bothered writing patent applications and a business plan I could have saved many people a great deal of time. They could have done other, perhaps better, things. I could have focused on research which got into peer reviewed journals and perhaps been invited to conferences. I might then have gotten promoted and could be still gathering cobwebs in academia.

Shit happens, you learn, no drama.

As things stand the world is no longer at risk from any of my ideas, crazy or otherwise, because I am not in a position to do anything about them. I am quarantined. Nor is there any financial incentive for me to develop any of these notions. My job does not depend upon it. I can “laisser tomber”. All I need to do is have a brief think if there is maybe some mileage and then move on. I do not have to pursue or check beyond initial light bulb.

–

–

Retrospect suggests that I was perhaps bat shit crazy to think we might play a part in the EUV story…

I’ll maintain that a one horse bet, which is what happened to EUV, did not produce the best outcome. It did however work. People will get high NA EUV nano-litho. They can fight the chip technology war until AI kills us all or makes us slaves. See you in the battery plant…

The semiconductor industry needed a solution because of the Moore’s Law mantram.

If you want to control things, be risk averse and safe it is probably best to quarantine the dreamers and when needed silence them. The last thing you need is anyone rocking the boat!!

Sequential safe micro-steps rarely revolutionize. They plod safely.

The thing about dreamers is that a fair portion of their dreams or visions will be fickle and impractical even delusional. It is best to keep them in quarantine…we don’t want people infected with grand ideas above their station…

It raises an interesting question.

——————————

How do you tell ab initio, from the get-go, the difference between delusional and visionary?

Is it only retrospect which can answer accurately?

What stops the visionary?

What enables the delusional?

Who are the arbiters?

————————-

If you want to be safe and sure you need to ensure that all the dreamers are locked up and in secure quarantine for the duration.

Messaging

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

When we attempt to communicate the message we actually send may be much different from what we think we meant.  How people receive and perceive what we say may differ markedly.

There is a tendency to try to force others to comply with our view of the world. If they do not we can ostracise them, shame them and “punish” them for not behaving as we think they ought to. Excommunication and shunning are methods employed. There can be a perception that the shunned person wishes back into the fold and will do anything to make amends. This can be a miscalculation.

–

–

Once we have shunned someone it can be impossible to re-build a relationship. A bridge burned is not easily reconstructed. The punished may no longer want anything to do with the emotive “punishers”.

We might imagine a temporary message when it is perceived as permanent. If you put someone on the naughty step they may be very happy to be out of the maelstrom where they can meditate and gain perspective.

They can boogie in peace.

It can be difficult to understand that if you bomb someone they are very unlikely to be bosom buddies again in the near future.

Ill will has long longevity, good will can evaporate in a flash and is very difficult to rebuild.

We may not think about what messages we are actually sending especially when we are in the heat of the moment or ranting and raving. We can deliver and receive entirely the wrong message…

——

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

― George Bernard Shaw

———–

Ego Trips and Imposter Syndrome

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

Is there such a thing as an inverted ego-trip?

Doing a brief search on this today I came upon the notion for reverse impostor syndrome. Which does not seem to be greatly overestimating your abilities and bullshitting rather it is having a realistic high assessment which is not yet matched by the perceptions of others. There is bias against the lack of overt pushy presentation and showing off. The book must be shiny and well branded. The highly strategic global vision introvert may not be so highly rated as the “gobshite” blagger snake oil salesman. There is apparently an issue in VC circles where surface performance is funded more readily than in depth potential. It is not the best investment on occasion. Founders can have reverse impostor syndrome; they know their ideas are good but everybody else has yet to catch up.

–

–

  • Imposter syndrome is other people thinking you’re good, but you still don’t believe it for yourself on the inside.
  • Reverse imposter syndrome is knowing you are good, but others don’t believe it (as much as you know it to be true).

Wes Kao

VC-backed founder turned coach. Writing for 80,000+ operators on executive communication and influence at {newsletter.weskao.com}

It raises a philosophical idea.

If you think you know what you are talking about and this has significance are you on an attention seeking ego trip or is your assessment simply premature?

If the world at large is not interested or does not notice, who is mistaken them or you?

Who is kidding who?

If you don’t appreciate someone who know things well because they differ with your own views, exactly who is on an ego trip?

Can people use telekinesis to stop the penny from dropping, if so, for how long?

It is very easy when one is on an ego trip to point the finger at someone else and assert that it is they in fact who are on an ego trip…

Who defines, who is the expert, on what is and what is not an ego trip?

Expressions fall easily into the vernacular..

Far out….

Differing Metrics – Human Love of League Tables

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

Over the last few weeks we have been watching the six nations rugby competition. People want to know who won and who finished last, what was their position in the league table. Wales came last and got the wooden spoon. The world is obsessed with metrics

The QS word university rankings for 2025 are:

–

–

I taught at one of these for over a decade {Imperial} and got a B.Sc. and a Ph.D. from another of these {UCL}. I had very brief spells teaching at two other top ten UK based universities. On paper then I was at pukka places for a while. I was not Mickey Mouse and I did not teach “Application of Media Studies To Pre-Carthaginian Naval Cultures”.

That track-record of mine is however ancient history.

I am not quite sure why people are so obsessed with league tables. Each football season hundreds of millions of people around the globe check the league position of their team and follow each football match with an avid interest.

People read polls to see how well Nigel Bellend Farage is doing. They make extensive soporific current affairs programmes to discuss poll positions.

They can base their interactions with others on their relative positions in various league tables. Trump has probably damaged the upcoming global league position of US universities.

Those at the top of the league can look down their noses at those at the bottom

For whatever reason people like lists. People measure different things. To your average Manchester City supporter the ranking of Oxford over Cambridge is of no interest.

–

–

What happens when you speak different league table languages?

Is the share price of Nvidia more important than the degree of enlightenment?

Does it matter who has more cheap drones, who has more expensive Patriot missiles?

Must we discuss over beers down the pub from our soap boxes?

I think some people can get boners and/or go a bit damp about league table positions….

—————————–

Are you obsessed with league tables?

If so, why?

Will that help you achieve liberation and enlightenment?

Is Excel the secret key to escaping the wheel of rebirth?

It tabulation better than meditation?

——————————

Kudos Clout and Fame

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

—

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air;
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve;
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

Tempest (IV.i.148–158)

Attr. William Shakespeare

—

–

Many are enamoured by the notion of being important, having kudos and clout. They seek recognition and the power that might come with it. They want to have power by association to/with those deemed to have high kudos. To claim that one studied at Cambridge University or Harvard is to have a form of academic clout. Were one able to name drop Steven Hawkins as a mentor one gains brownie points while also ticking the disabled box. If one knows Taylor Swift or Barron Trump one has power by name dropping. Were one in the inner circles all sorts or doors would open for you. If you are famous you can get an audience with the Dalai Lama.

The other night we watched the Louis Theroux documentary on the  “manosphere”. He managed to get interviews with a right bunch of bellends. It was interesting to see how so many people put up with being humiliated in order to claim kudos by association with these intellectual giants. Fame whores and kudos junkies are easily found. There is often a price.

It demonstrated a truth that those “on the make” will associate with very unsavoury characters like Jimmy Savile, Bonny Blue and Epstein. The urge to self-promote can make for weird bed fellows which many claim later to regret. People will exercise poor judgment if they think they can get kudos or clout, thereby. The lust for attention, for recognition and “kudos” is addictive for some.

Discernment is rare.

I remember an interview with Edwina Currie in which she was absolutely mortified about her association with Savile and her prior trust in him. If she had not seen political worth in so associating it would never have happened. Many make a pact with Mephisto in order to self advance. Temptation is hard to resist.

We do not all know Savile but many do exercise poor judgment in hanging on to the coat tails of others many of whom are unsavoury. Corruption is the thin end of the wedge and many are way more susceptible than they might think. At best they will turn a blind eye rather than calling people out. Moral fibre is not a common breakfast cereal. Most have a price either explicit or implicit.

People will do a lot in order to associate with an impermanent illusion…

People try to measure the esteem in which others hold you…

People are given jobs on the basis of the kudos of institutions or corporations they worked for. Judgment is biased by this peculiar socio-political construct of kudos.

People can make TV shows and movies about this pursuit of kudos, clout and fame…

It takes all sorts…

——————————-

Fame
I’m gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a flame
Fame
I’m gonna live forever
Baby, remember my name

Dean Pitchford, Michael Gore

——————

Where – Decision Making

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

Ever since I was stupid enough to develop a course on “Decision Making” I have unsurprisingly been making decisions. I wrote this course under the umbrella of my dreaming colour Indigo Blue.

–

–

Here is a slide from said course. Without blowing my own trumpet overly it is a good thought provoking course which has application up to the highest levels.

We have already decided that we need to downsize. The house is way too big and hence expensive to run for our needs and the garden at 2 acres is massive. Our rough parameters are at around 100 square metres for house and less than 2000 square metres {tops} garden. That is about it and of course we are limited in available price.

Next week we have a “when” data input. I will discuss with an orthopaedic surgeon the possibility of a second hip replacement. The basic logic being that if he thinks I should wait we have a time window in which to move house. I am more able than I was last year. If he thinks go ahead, then this year will be operation and recuperation.

Maybe if no operation we will put the house on the market and the level of interest or otherwise will advise on whether we can move and how big the kitty of funds is.

If we are lucky enough be granted rights to remain and live in France we have three possible countries, France, UK and Ireland. There are no important relational ties which restrict choice.

Were we to apply and gain French citizenship in due course we could choose anywhere in the EU.

The where is geo-located to Northwestern Europe. Parts of the UK and France are prohibitively expensive.

It seems likely that we will have to sell, put the money in the bank, and rent for a while. The sale process in France is not as facile as in the UK. We could try to get the stars to align but that could be stressful.

This means we could pretty much live anywhere in the above countries provided that we are happy to shrink capital by six months or a year’s rent.

The notion of a different kind of living / location has come to fore.

So far we have had, quaint village centre, isolated in a middle of a wood on a private estate, on a working farm and in our own compound with pond and a river. We have learned scale and “estate-management”.

Two first pass options have appeared, in the middle of a cathedral quaint town or next to a tidal river…The tide provides a rhythm we sampled once before on holiday in Cornwall.

Because we live in a “pocket” we have lacked direct sight of sunrise and sunset, this is something I might like to rectify.

It is a kind of open ended slightly weird feeling not knowing where nor with any strong inclination. A part of the motivation for coming here was access to a photonic cluster with laser industries. That is not important now.

We do need access to reasonably high level medical care for things like haematology – myeloma but that can be at a 40 minute to hour journey time. We are in the French system which has been very generous and kind.

Might be nice to be a bit warmer, with less rain.

We don’t know where, we do have some incoming on when.

The “doing what” question seems to be converging on more of the same. In other words we will garden, do DIY, meditate and dream. That seems to be the entire scope. Nothing big, no interaction with cheeses big or otherwise. With a smaller garden we could go bonsai like in detail and take a more minute care. Which would be a new approach for us.

There are a few more years before we are eligible for UK state pension which will give a small increase in income.

This is a sketch of the parameter space for the upcoming decision…

Is Tantra Poppycock ?

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

There is a tendency for people to pooh-pooh things without ever trying them. They may rely on the witness of “some bloke down the pub” or on the collective omniscience of their own peer group.

In the previous post I have put a link to “The Tantra of the Blue-Clad Blessed Vajrapāṇi”

There are no gonads or well-ness orgies therein. No V-scented candles or merch.

I would encourage any doubter to sit alone in a room at night with a few lighted candles and incense sticks and then read aloud the full translation. Many might think that Tantra and magic are poppycock few of these would have the balls to do what I have just suggested.

The only reliable way to learn is personal experience. The true test is in the act and not the words.

Place your bets if you dare…

Approach a Tantra like this one with a wrong attitude and you will FAFO, as the saying goes.

–

–

A lot of people are sure in front of and with their peers, less so in the wee small hours on their own.

The translation of the Tantra linked to in the previous post shows that it is a spell of some considerable age and has many facets some of which are powerful even lethal. It is very well crafted.

I have always approached anything to do with Vajrapani with the utmost respect. My intuitive response to the first of the dreams today was to turn towards Vajrapani practice.

I personally am OK reading the Tantra because I am in control of my emotions and have a generally benign intent. Although I have not been granted any permission from a lineage holder, I am reasonably safe. I have a good instinct and in me there is very little dark or nasty. My self-assessment is probably realistic. For me I am not trying to use it or abuse it.

I have spent a lot of time on my own doing things which might freak others out. I have learned a few things on the way.

A lot of people imagine themselves skill full, clever and resourceful. They may be foolhardy enough to bet their “magic” against that of others. Which in itself shows a poor understanding and a lousy intent.

Somethings are beyond our ken. Each of us would do well to remember that.

I was toying with an idea the other day and I do not know how people might respond.

The question was, “how would people respond if, in all earnest, I offered to perform an exorcism on them?”

I guess it would depend on circumstance. Exorcism is a Tantric rite…

How would you respond if someone offered to exorcise you?

Is exorcism poppycock too?

Spiritual or Soular Challenges and Karmic Merit

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

I have been mulling over this subject on and off for a number of days now. It is surprisingly difficult to put into words nevertheless I will have a go.

I’ll start this off with a postulate.

In any given lifetime we are presented with challenges which we are required to face in order to evolve. We must endeavour to engage with these with as much willingness as we can muster and try to face them and learn therefrom. They are pivotal to our development as incarnate beings and are a requirement of/for our Souls. They are a part of the lessons we chose to try to learn for ourselves in selecting our birth.

Whether or not you agree with this postulate does not matter especially in the context which it sets up. It frames life no matter if you believe it or like it or think it is poppycock. If the postulate holds it has consequences spanning lifetimes. If you do not accept the postulate and yet it still holds it has consequences. If it is a pile of bull I made up because I was bored and it is raining outside there are fewer consequences. You are “free” to act like an arrogant arsehole should so wish.

Place your bets…

Modern life has boundaries and laws. It has social contracts and is heavily laden with social expectations. There are the itchy back game endless transactions. There are thousands of “shoulds” and “oughts”. These are to an extent culture and peer group specific. Some things are expressed in law and in general it is wise to follow these laws or you could find yourself fined or in gaol. These are “hard” and are relatively non-negotiable. The shoulds are more bendy. The requirement to behave according to a “moral” code is partially enforced by humans and peer groups. These are subject to the vagaries of time. It is no longer socially acceptable to black up for a black and white minstrels show. Morals are flexible and some consider themselves less beholden than others. But you can get cancelled and if you hang out with a famous paedophile in your Y-fronts it can change your future.

Often that which seems too good to be true, is. People like shiny things and fail to appreciate the price attached. The free lunch is a cornerstone of mythos.

The Soular challenges that I am thinking about are not required by law, nor by peer pressure , nor social compliance. Even if you might “get away with it”, by not doing it, these challenges ask that you rise up above that mentality. In listening to your Soul you have no choice but to be utterly impeccable even if that has to it a seeming cost, pecuniary, social or otherwise. The reward is karmic merit gained and a heart enlivened because you have been at your impeccable best.

Doing things when there is no pressure to do them and when nobody else sees them is not something which transactional beings tend to do. There is no apparent immediate reward. There is no “look at me” kudos to be had.

Simply an impeccable and often compassionate act is sufficient in and of itself. It is satisfactory. There is no drum roll, no heralding trumpets. No great big drama.

The acts which gain karmic merit are often to be found in overcoming selfishness, pettiness and greed. They may be invisible to others. But karma has eyes which see more than the profane. These acts are nearly always about “getting over your-self” and they engender a wider humility and understanding of the universal and not the me-personal. Most of all these acts are about attitude. If the attitude in benevolent and not seeking of personal reward, the acts have a nice hue, a rich colouration. There is a subtle perfume to them. They smell nice.

But in order to engage with these challenges one is required to overcome social fear. Often one has to stand out from the crowd in some way. One has to make some kind of an integrity based stand. Which may have a price. In most cases the barrier to doing the act has been bigged-up to gargantuan proportion. Only hindsight concludes, “what was all that fuss about?”  The mind and little-self does its best to dissuade.

Most of these challenges are to do with mind and perception is some way.

Spiritual and Soular challenges can be very subtle indeed. The opportunity is readily missed in the maelstrom of modern living.

There is no, “what is in it for me?”

This mentality of reward and even bribery of a kind is far too prevalent in our times. It does not generate karmic merit.

To do a genuine, as opposed to for show, 180 degree shift away from personal reward is not to the liking of most.

But if you want to evolve you need to change the way you think, the way you act and the way you orient towards life. Otherwise you will stay the same. It is not rocket science.

If you have been lucky enough to have a relatively easy incarnation then chances are it will have a number of subtle yet very important challenges for you to face. You gave yourself the wherewithal so to do…

You can try to run and hide from these challenges but that is not an evolutionary attitude, is it? If you are too important to face your challenges and learn from them what does that say about your attitude to learning and evolution? Maybe you are already so evolved that you are above all that…

Evolution after all is just for the plebs….

The Not Invented Here Syndrome

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

I’ll kick this off with a statement

–

People are evangelical about the comprehensive nature of their self-diagnosed omniscience.

–

They are convinced that they know best and seek to promote and otherwise sell their approach(es). After all education is a business and bums on seats keep the pennies flowing into coffers. Religion too is a business and the treasuries must be kept full. Politics too is a business. In all of these cash flow is important. Self-marketing is important for livelihood. One must strive for supremacy and market domination.

I have encountered and been repulsed by the not invented here syndrome many times which can be paraphrased,

“We know best, fuck off with your strange and foreign ideas!! We love Status Quo.”

I once met a young man who tried to persuade me that Vajrayana practice was very difficult, like scaling a cliff. It was very hard but promised high gain yet the risks of falling and getting very badly hurt were high. He was showing off a little. I thought to myself, “try the warrior’s path sunshine and that might change your attitude…”

It is all a bit cock wavy. “My path is harder and more macho than yours!”

–

–

If you read and consider deeply the aphorism from the rule of the three pronged nagal above you can see that it is not facile or shallow. This insight comes from direct experiential contact with The VOID. It is a part of the inner subjective teachings of the Toltec schema. Perhaps akin by extrapolation to inner Kalachakra.

I have joked that I am a quantum yogi, in a geek-yogi superposition state. As such I am suspected by scientists and suspected by yogis because I not one thing or the other. I am not pure. Like the driven snow I am tainted by other thought forms. Yuk!!

I probably am quite well placed to do a balanced compare and contrast for many different ways of thinking.

Sometimes one needs more than verbatim translation to carry across meaning. People can argue when in fact they are in agreement.

They are just not willing to listen with an open mind and a willingness to find common ground…

The call of the soap box can be irresistible…

—

Cockney have name like Treey, Arthur and Del-boy
We have name like Winston, Lloyd and Leroy
We bawl out YOW! While cockneys say OI!
What cockney call a Jack’s we call a Blue Bwoy
Say cockney have mates while we have spar
Cockney live in a drum while we live in a yard
Say we nyam while cockney get capture
Cockney say guv’nor. We say Big Bout ya
In a de Cockney Translation!
In a de Cockney Translation!

Smiley Culture

—-