Names so deep and names so true…

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

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The war was lost
The treaty signed
I was not caught
I crossed the line
I was not caught
Though many tried
I live among you, well-disguised

I had to leave my life behind
I dug some graves
You’ll never find the story’s told
With facts and lies
I had a name but never mind

Never mind
Never mind
The war was lost
The treaty signed
There’s truth that lives
And truth that dies
I don’t know which
So never mind

Your victory was so complete
Some among you
Thought to keep a record of our little lives
The clothes we wore our spoons our knives

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I could not kill
The way you kill
I could not hate
I tried, I failed

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Leonard Cohen / Patrick Raymond Leonard

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One of the things that I have learned is that all I have to do is make an offering. That offering may be so simple, so innocuous and so easy to be ignored. So, often it is. But I have done all that is required of me to do. Whatever door I have ever so briefly opened is missed in the hurly burly, haste and ambition. I have offered a chance for a different route, an alternate path. 99% of the time these offerings are not seen, nor appreciated and thus discarded. By and large many see themselves as THE expert and perhaps imagine that I am to learn from them, to join their followers. For some they just want my shilling to add to their business.

People can be so het up with the notion of winning and victory that they have in fact lost and very badly so. They may imagine that their victory is so complete but they have been fighting an entirely different “battle” to me. I am not obsessed with winning, scoring points or getting one over on another. I am not insecure and do not need to show off.

Often, I am not fighting at all, merely offering. Strangely this is something many fail to see, especially if they are paranoid

I do not wish to inflict myself. If people do not appreciate then perhaps that is the way it is/was meant to be. Perhaps now is not the time. Perhaps this is not yet the lifetime.

People obsessed in mind and with face value can nevertheless miss the bleeding obvious and are totally blind to subtlety and nuance. They can fail to see what is directly under their nose and in front of them.

All I have to do is make an offering…

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Never mind
Never mind
I had to leave my life behind
The story’s told
With facts and lies
You own the world so never mind

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The ancient adepts of the Tao….

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The ancient adepts of the Tao were subtle and flexible, profound and comprehensive.

Their minds were too deep to be fathomed.

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Because they are unfathomable,

One can only describe them vaguely by their appearance.

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Hesitant like one wading a stream in winter;

Timid like one afraid of his neighbours on all sides;

Cautious and courteous like a guest;

Yielding like ice on the point of melting;

Simple like an uncarved block;

Hollow like a cave;

Confused like a muddy pool;

And yet who could quietly and gradually evolve from the muddy to the clear?

Who else could slowly but steadily move from the inert to the living?

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He who keeps the Tao does not want to be full.

But precisely because he is never full,

He can always remain like a hidden sprout,

And does not rush to early ripening.

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Excerpted from “Tao Teh Ching” by Lao Tzu

Shambhhala Dragin Editions Trans. John C .H. Wu

ISBN 0-87773-388-0

Tempest Ciaran – Towards Carbon Neutral

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In autumn 2023 tempest Ciaran laid waste to a great number of trees in Brittany. This one was weakened and then fell in a subsequent storm a week or so later.

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At first glance it does not look much. The shed in the background is however 4-5 metres long!

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That is a lot of wood and debris..There were many trips to the green waste tip.

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Sized and stacked…and now two years later ready for use in autumn 2025.

This morning I split a bunch of these and the wife stacked them in the garage….

Many talk a good climate game, few put their backs into to it with a 2.5 kg splitting axe…some can be a bit cerebral and precious.

It is a nice feeling to know we will use the carbon from the tree felled by a perhaps climate change fueled tempest to heat our home.

At over 100 trees we are by rough calculation aproximately carbon neutral.

We are making ready for when I can’t use the axe late autumn. One more session and we are good to go.

Busy {Probably Unique} Dreaming

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Over the last few weeks I have had a busy time of it on the passive nocturnal dreaming front. I’ll speculate that the content of these dreams is unique. There is no other being on the planet that dreams like me and has dreams like these.

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The dreams which I have written up are:

Investor Incognito – Quantum Modules – Sociopolitical Problems Dream 19-08-2025

Covercule 18 – COVID 19 -“they”- British Expats Dream 15-08-2025

Dreaming Courses (Stanford) Dream – 14-08-2025

Derek Jacobi – Cats – Vance – US Visitors Dream Sequence 13-08-2025

Academic Chemists – Derelict Site – Attack – Honour Dream 11-08-2025

The Somnambulant – Purple Wolf and Crocodiles Dream – 08-08-2025

Novel Conductors – Counts of Penthièvre – Tapestry Dream – 03-08-2025

Coming Home to Roost Dream and Preparation 02-08-2025

Easterly Stalkers – Tarot 12 – Dream – 01-08-2025

“Job” Interview  – IP – Patents Dream 30-07-2025

Candle Vigil – Koyaanisqatsi – Jaguar Shaman – Strange Group Dream 25-07-2025

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Some of these dreams are well in excess of 500 words long and contain subject material with detail which are not your common or garden. My dream recall is adequate and well-practiced.

In one context dreams can provide indications on possibilities in the web of life, apertures which may offer some form of physical plane manifestation. The possibility may be there on the cusp of the dream but physical plane reality renders the probability very low indeed. The dream on dream courses cannot happen now, but at some far time in the future may be possible. I saw the Stanford University quad. In no way could anything I might offer be curriculum acceptable because it cannot be peer reviewed.

The saucepan with IP, patents and quantum in, continues to simmer on a low heat at the back of the stove. Even were an aperture to persist for more than a nanosecond it would take a very risky gambler to touch me with even the longest of barge poles.

These dreams currently show little or no sign of coalescing into any kind of even a nebulous reality.

The wife’s dreams have indicated that we may be due a change in awareness incoming on a non-specified timescale. Noted…

Strangely the most likely thing to change things would be a lottery win!!

The probable life trajectory remains quietly heading towards autumn and the pencilled in date for operation. This followed by recovery and a further operation late spring ’26. In the meantime we have a short visit to the UK planned to see how we feel being there. Strangely it is about cafe Nero, Waitrose and Sainsbury. It will advise us on the blighty or not question. We need to renew our immigrant status early next year. We could get refused and booted out. We cannot assume that we are allowed to stay, though it may be likely we are. We can’t yet claim refugee status or asylum.

Whatever may or may not be going on externally is in many senses another world. I do not foresee it impinging directly here. I could be wrong.

I await to see if the dreaming offers any indication of residual fate, of things I need to do before I die. In the past there have been big gaps in dreaming. When I had bowel cancer I was dream free for a year.

So far this year I have had 60 dreams written up which extrapolates to 90 by the end of  the year.

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This is roughly on trend for the dreams in Brittany graph. I wrote up 84 dreams in 2024. The dream length has seemed to increase as has the detail in the content. No alcohol since early February does not seem to have changed the dreaming pattern.

We shall see…

Investor Incognito – Quantum Modules – Sociopolitical Problems Dream 19-08-2025

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Here is last night’s dreaming sequence.

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“If you want my future, forget my past
If you wanna get with me, better make it fast”

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The dream opens in a splendid mansion and grounds of Italianate design situated somewhere like Lake Como or Lake Maggiore. It is upper class, rich and very swanky. It is an investor event for high net worth individuals and venture capital (VC) funds of diverse type and scale. It is late evening drawing into night. There is a string quartet and finger food. Presentations will be given in an outdoors setting once it has become fully dark. There is a stage and seating. Seating is round “ten” seater tables. In the meantime a pre-event wine tasting is going on. It feels European.

I am working incognito as one of the wine waiters. I am in black and whites with a white wine apron. I am opening a bottle of vintage red wine and offering to taste before decanting. I then fill a decanter with the rest of the wine. The idea being that they also taste after half an hour. I pour a taster around the table. Each in turns swirls the bright red wine and tastes. I move onto the next table who are trying an ice cold New Zealand white. In general the interaction is professional but I can tell that I am “staff” and not one of them. I am of no significance. I am not the main event.

Heading back to the kitchen an American woman who is a VC accidentally bangs in to me, she is partially drunk and is very rude to me. I apologise even though it is her fault. She is brash and convinced of her own importance. The event suggests to me that these are not the kind of people I seek.

The scene changes and I am at a booth in a trade show and technology event. On the table in front of me is a quantum module. It is a slot in for a 19 inch electronics frame wider unit. I have the side panel off the module. In it I can see a photonic circuit processor which is air-cooled by fan. Connected to it are several tight circle bundles of fibreoptic cable. These are cable tied and attached to the motherboard. A number of them lead to optical-optical low loss interconnects on the rear of the module. To the top of the board is a diode pumped fibre laser which I know to be single mode. The whole unit is a modular quantum logic gate, a plug and play module for an in-principle demonstrator. With me in the booth are Geri Horner and her husband. As a hobby he has led the engineering team and has managed to attract some not standard funding from Red Bull. I replace the side panel to the module and screw it in using a jeweller’s screw driver. I slot the module into the wider 19 inch parent rack. I then mount the whole unit into an electronics rack and attach the computer interface. Geri is excited and waiting for people to visit our booth. There is a Red Bull logo. The module is a large-scale building block prototype for a room temperature quantum computer. I have had to seek non-standard funding, hence Geri and Red Bull.

The scene changes and I am in my workshop / shed on top of a low rise several storey building. To my surprise a text message arrives on my ‘phone. The message asks “why, why am I packing it in?” I am very surprised that there is both a ‘phone and a text message in the dream. {A very rare thing} As I am dealing with this surprise a man appears at the door of my shed. He is older than me, very English and of the UK science hierarchy. I let him in. He wants to know why I am dropping this line of research / investigation. I explain to him that the establishment does not accept me and has difficulty interacting with me because I am not usual. I do not belong to any famous company / institution. He does not believe me. I explain to him in more depth and he starts to get offended imagining that I am attacking the entire science hierarchy. I ask him if he is personally offended. He says, yes.

“Now do you see the sort of thing I am up against. How resistant to me people are?”

“Yes, OK , I get the idea.”

He then asks me to hang fire for a while. He wants to know who I am working with. I explain that it is just me. On my bookshelf he see texts on superconducting and quantum circuits. He says that he might be able to get someone to work with me. I doubt it. There is no money.

I say to him that there is little which can be done. It is as it is. He does not like this.

The dream ends and I have the Spice Girls “Wannabe” to mind.

The Proud Disconnect

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

I have long noted that I do not seem to have the same “stars in my eyes” that others might do about fame, kudos and positions of sociopolitical power. Because I have not shown the deference deemed owed by some, I have put noses out of joint and have experienced payback. I am unskilled in the art of sycophancy and brown nosing. Luckily my lack of said interpersonal skill is not tested these days. I can see that there is often a social-disconnect in which people are expecting some kind of different behaviour from me. I do not play the mutual itchy-back game well. As a young man and researcher I was academically precocious and unfiltered towards my “older and betters”. It was not a friend winner nor was it politically astute. To this day I am unlikely to doff my cap correctly were such behaviour deemed warranted. I don’t seek kudos nor do I deem it important. It is impermanent and thereby illusory.

I have always had the notion that I am a little alien to this planet. Others differ in outlook, I think.

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My first celeb crush was on Delenn…

The biggest disconnect which I seem to have with society at large comes with this weird word “proud”.

Contestants on Masterchef Australia want to make their family proud and are proud of their creations. Coaches are proud of what their teams do in Rugby and Soccer. Parents are proud of their offspring and their achievements. People are proud if little Johhny gets into Oxford or Marie-Claire the Sorbonne. People can be proud they went to a Cambridge College or to Imperial. They can be proud that they finished a marathon or that they quit crack cocaine. They can be proud that they helped an old lady cross the road. People on SAS Celebrities can be proud of the effort they put in. Everybody wants to be proud of something, its seems. A lot of gay people are proud and have pride.

I just don’t get it…it is not a word that I would use.

In the past I got a degree and a Ph.D. Going into the viva for the latter, I was very well prepared. My thesis was a good journeyman effort with published results. Nothing earth shattering. My assessment was that I would pass. This proved true. It was as I had assessed. No biggie. Job done, next thing. I wasn’t proud of it. Though to keep the peace I had to sit for hours in the Royal Albert Hall for the purposes of ritual magic. I was not proud, my realtives might have been. I thought the Ph.D. simply consistent with effort. I did not believe I deserved it. I believed I had satisfied the criteria. It was normal.

One of the things I have is the question, “is it possible”. This question when answered in either sense is usually enough for me. I asked myself recently, “is it possible to get a quantum optics patent granted without the use of a patent attorney and having done no university level science for well over a decade?” The answer was yes. My curiosity is satisfied. I am not bothered about winning.

Were I to go on Masterchef {UK if they allow men of my age and size } I would probably prepare very meticulously. The question would be, “could I make some food that experts thought was tidy?” If the answer was yes, I would probably lose interest. To take it to conclusion and make myself “proud” would not occur.

I do not recall anyone other than my nan saying she was proud of me. If you say it over and over, proud is such a weird word.

I have in general been happy. If I have done my impeccable best at anything that is enough irrespective of level of success measured or otherwise. Why would anyone be proud about putting a good effort in? It makes no sense to me. Isn’t a good effort the default?  

I have not got a trophy cabinet…I don’t need affirmation.

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As a little exercise listen carefully and note how many times the word proud is said in your earshot over the next few weeks or so…

Will you be proud of how many time you note the use of the word proud?

How long before you give up?

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Beck and Call

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People can be complacent, imagining that others will always be around even at their beck and call. People do not imagine that another might disappear into thin air, either with or without a puff of smoke. If you are institutionalised in say academia there is an assumption that you will remain therein and readily contactable, on tap. No-one foresees that you will go off into the wilderness to live as a yogi. They can’t treat you just how they see fit and you must suck it up. You can be the “dependable”. One click of the fingers and you are always there.

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We are accustomed to watching “24 hours in A&E” and the interviews with relatives bang on about how important family is and that it is unwise to take time and people for granted. They are clearly prompted by the interviewers with scripted questions. The answers are formulaic, fairly repetitive and preachy. When I hear people say that they must not take things or people for granted it does not ring true to me. What they mean is, “Phew, when  this crisis is over, we will endeavour to go back to pretty much how we were.”

You can work out if I am being cynical or simply accurate. What is your take on human nature?

So many people do take others for granted perhaps to be picked up and used as and when. I know from my own experience that many people have used me and, in my desire to help, I have actually done them a massive dis-service. I have disempowered them and robbed them of the lesson of using their own efforts.

If I have any regrets in this life, this is one of them, disempowering people by trying to help and make their lives easier, doing things for them. This leads in many cases to being taken for granted.

Grants however can be withdrawn…the complacent and entitled rarely expect this.

There is a type of person who imagines everything, everyone is at their beck and call…They can get upset and have a tizzy when this proves not to be the case.

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What happens when you snap your fingers, metaphorically or otherwise?

Do you get?

Do doors open?

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The Dreamers of Mankind are Group Conscious…

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At the level of the reincarnating Soul or dreamer humanity is group conscious. It is aware of other Souls or dreamers who are on the same wavelength or colour. This is soul to soul. The incarnate being may not be fully or even partially conscious at the soul level being wrapped up in the “personality” of the meaty vehicle and its desires and worries. This so-called personality is the separative notion of self, focused on by modern psychology. As yet soul-centred psychology has not come into being. The “self” may be mentally polarised, emotionally polarised or gonad obsessed. It may prefer ideas and concepts, drama and emotional manipulation, or think only about sex and shagging. The soul or the dreamer is a level of consciousness which is true intuition, the inner-tuition of the real incarnating you, the soul, the dreamer. It seeks life after life to fully infuse the vehicle and its personality into which it is born. Its journey is home to the ONE source.

An IDF soldier firing into a crowd of people queuing for food in Gaza may be killing someone whose soul is the same colour as his, who belongs to the same group of souls. Literally he kills his brother or sister. This he justifies to him or herself.

In this context my soul ray or colour is indigo-blue, the second “ray”, which means that I pertain to the elephant dreaming class in Toltec nomenclature. There are people on the same wavelength, at the level of dreamer, as me, incarnate in bodies all over the world. They may be Aboriginal, Russian or Arab or Jew. They may be Nigerian or Chinese, they may even at a push, be English. The vehicle matters not to the soul. You may drive a Honda, a Peugeot or even a Chevrolet. The driver can change “cars” from life to life. That way one gets to experience different mundane circumstance and traditions. It is all about learning.

At this level of the soul, the heart, we are the same colour, we have similar sound and a basic urge to love-wisdom. It is possible via meditation and/or dreaming practice to ascertain to which group of souls you belong, to which dreaming class you pertain.

Of course even a rainbow verbalised as Richard of York etc. is a model. The colours of the rainbow do not care for our mundane descriptors, they merge into each other, without seam or boundary. The dreaming classes are defined for clarity but abut gently. Separation and division along with comparison are faculties of human mind, lower mind at that. The dreamers of the rainbow blend into a symphony of colour where each tone, each nuance of shade and vibrancy adds to the whole, the One Life in its human aspect.

Ever since humans started killing each other the practice of fratricide has plagued this planet!!

It continues to this day…

Slowly more people will sense this innate interconnectedness, they will feel it. They will know in heart that we are but one humanity and not a bunch of angry petty warring primitives. It will take a long time. Already there are tens of thousands who sense this.

The dreamers of mankind are group conscious and it is their challenge to manifest this consciousness fully onto the physical material plane, on the planet we call earth!!

Humanity Needs a Reboot – Probably a Cataclysm

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As the end of one earth birth year comes and another starts, I tend to reflect and have a guess at what may be to come. The most obvious for me (us) might be a pair of replacement hips which offer the possibility of reduced pain and enhanced mobility. There is no guarantee, I could also cark it. Physical plane life looks relatively simple with little deviation from the current trajectory on compound, though with reduced gardening.

What is so obvious to me is that humanity is not focussed on the big climate elephant in the room. Running lemming like into its orgy of acquisitional hedonistic show-and-tell materialism it is distracted and complacent. It allows the petroleum industry to sports wash and sabotage plastics conferences. It has cheerleaders in the USA. AI won’t be much use as the reservoirs empty; the forests burn and the cities flood. The crocodiles can feed on corpses. But let’s hype the hype and feed the energy-vampire water-sucking server farms, it is good for the wallets of the mega-rich. It keeps humanity distracted with robot Olympics and more energy voracious ‘phones and the endless petabytes of vacuous images.

Were anyone to ask me what humanity needs, I would say a complete reboot. I don’t mean this in the sense of flogging a dead horse movie franchise further to death. I mean a complete and utter reboot, a new operating system and a complete new age. I can see no way of this happening without a massive and global scale cataclysm. The old ways will need wiped out. People will need to think again and learn from their wastrel past. It seems that it cannot be a slowly stepwise process. In needs shock and awe to wake humanity from its slumber. The scale of the cataclysm needs to match the scale of the problem. It needs to be big. I have mentioned before that a nuclear winter is possibly a solution for global warming. Humanity is currently calling forth cataclysm. It is sleepwalking into it and gobbing off all the while.

Were anyone to ask me what humanity needs this would be my reply and my advice.