Tag: buddhism

Buddhist Monastery – Dual Airport – Flight Lieutenant – Dream 27-01-2025

~ quantumdreamer ~ 1 Comment

This dream from between 2 and 4 AM.

The dream starts in the refectory area of a Buddhist monastery. I am wearing one of my white collarless shirts which is slightly open in the front. My hair is fresh from a recent buzz cut and I am clean shaven. Everyone is sat on the floor on a cushion with a Tali style platter of Indian food in front of them. We all have roti and a small bowl of rice.

The land around the monastery is very mountainous. There is little vegetation and a glacial melt stream / river. There are rocks strewn widely. It is dry.

The monks are wearing largely maroon colour robes and I know them to be of a Tibetan inspired Vajrayana lineage. I am sat in front of the room facing in. The monks are all asking me questions. The atmosphere is cheerful and light.

Sat next to me is a young woman dressed in a lay robe. She has very short black hair and is of an Indian colouring. Her English is impeccable and I know that she is also a Flight Lieutenant in the Indian Air Force. There is a sense of latent royalty or nobility to her. She is very respectful.

The monks keep asking me questions, they do not want me to go.

Eventually I plead my goodbyes and together with the officer head off in an open top jeep to the airport. The airport has a civilian and a military entrance. We go in via the military one, she gets a salute. The airport has a dual purpose.

We pull up next to a Cessna two seater propeller driven plane. I am to fly us out with her as a co-pilot. The night has started to fall and there is an incoming mist. I say to the woman that I am not confident that I could fly out of there. She agrees that I do not have the experience and that it would be dangerous.

She offers to drive me back to the monastery and I accept. I am welcomed and know that because the weather is closing in, I might be here for a few more days. The monks are happy with this.

The dream ends.

As I come to, I am reminded of Leh airport in Ladakh which on a quick Google search is due a second runway to enhance its military capabilities. The civilian airport is called Leh Kushok Bakula Rinpoche Airport. The online images of which are mostly consistent with the dream

Believing Without Concluding

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Luckily, I can believe something without coming to a conclusion about its veracity or accuracy or degree of right. I don’t have to win an argument or be right. I can even hold multiple views about the same situation without needing to pick a favourite and I don’t need to soap box, to be dogmatic or adamant. The dream this morning highlighted a fundamental difference in mentality between me and where I once worked. I was not ambitious nor obsessed with winning and league table position. My life did not hang on success or kudos. In many ways I did not belong there amongst. So, it worked out as it did. Dandy.

I think a safe “conclusion” is that the dreams in this blog are not normal or average. This makes me something of an outlier, an anomaly even.  This “conclusion” is uncoloured and non-emotive. It is not significant.

I can see how some of the “data” in these dreams can be interpreted using various narratives, for example Toltec. In which case I belong to a certain predilection as a dreamer and not a stalker.  I am a slightly different class of being. I think it fair to see a mild philosophical bent in my approach to life.

I can try on a working hypothesis, see if there is a partial fit. If there is I note it but have no need to conclude. Such and such is consistent with so and so. No Biggy. Next.

My own experience is, that at least in my case, the law of cause & effect or karma is applicable. I have a mind set of trying to address karma rather than going “phew got away with it, at least for now”. I’ll speculate that this again is not normal or average. To take responsibility for the actions AND consequences in life is not something most share. They fail to see the link of causality because that can be mightily inconvenient. People suffer from entitlement issues and believe, for example, that they are entitled to bomb the living daylights out of a people. They deserve to enact bloody revenge. It is justice no matter how disproportionate. They may be unable to calmly and cooly think it through. They make concentrated poverty adjacent to their opulent wealth and do not foresee consequences. Blinded by rage they do not solve, lashing out is not the most evolved thing to do.

In terms of liberation. One cannot achieve liberation whilst one has unresolved karma, it remains like a weight holding you back. The karma of stubbornness is rich and like most karma can have an ironic flavour. If you don’t believe in karma, it is currently your karma so to be. Karma is patient and one day it will make you understand. You may get knelt.

I know, I believe, that I understand the implications of much of the material in the blog. But I will never conclude that I am right about this and exclusively so. There could be many other explanations or none at all. I am just constructing a temporary view for my own amusement. Like a sand castle I can knock it down. I won’t be explicit and detailed. People like to argue the toss especially with others on the internet.

Not concluding is the antithesis of modern education methods. We are trained to give the {only} “right” answer, to justify it and make a conclusion or two. That way we can gain marks and pass exams; we can earn qualifications.

Students want to know, “tell me what the answer is”. Sometimes there are no answers within the common mundane context. We can ask Siri or Alexa. I suspect that humanity is getting ever lazier and may one day lose the ability to think for itself.

People might only believe if the norm decrees something right and correct. If consensus deems. But there can be different groups of consensuses who will fight for the dominance of being right.

I don’t think that conclusions and answers are evolutionary. They fixate, anchor and coral.

Renunciation or Self-Sabotage?

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The human ability to kid oneself is well known though for those kidding, difficult to accept. At the moment there are many who deem the slaughter in Gaza justifiable and apt. They do not imagine any karmic consequences because that notion would be very inconvenient. Irrespective of how things are temporarily brought to a close, there will be consequences ongoing.

The normal idea of success in the “West” might be to have a good career, make progress, climb the housing ladder and perhaps have a relationship or marriage and thence to propagate the species. One might like a nice car and pleasant foreign holidays. Perhaps gaining some measure of societal kudos along the way. One would not sulkily throw one’s toys out of the cot; one would comply more or less to the norm. Psychology might point you in this direction.

If for example you are a bodhisattva called Siddartha Gautama, it would be OK to run out on a young wife and child, leave the palace of your father the King and renounce the kingdom to which you are heir. But for normal people this would be wrong.

Viewed from one angle this is an ungrateful act of wanton self-sabotage. Siddhartha shot himself in the foot and abandoned a pleasant life, one which many might aspire to. To the starving, the poor and the unshod this makes no sense. Yet according to legend this subsequently facilitated his teaching and his completion of the career goal of any bodhisattva, namely enlightenment and Buddhahood.

In the post previous I pointed at something that many would not understand. I shelved a high value job at a prestigious space agency. The successful completion of which could have opened the way for senior positions and a way back from the “wilderness”. We would have had plenty of cash.

There were a number of warning omens when we were viewing properties in and near Leiden. Retrospect suggests that the job was a temptation of sorts.

Earlier I walked out of a marriage with a very young child which caused the sale of a house in London now worth £ 1 million. I left a new age group which I gave heart and soul to establish. I “gave” my shares back to a start-up company the vision for which was to a fair extent mine. I quit a then tenured academic job at a top university, something to which many aspired. I had no other job lined up just a few training courses. One of these went pear shaped so I gave them up too. To move from a highly timetabled job into near nothing was a bit of a shock to the system. I resigned from another short lived university teaching post. I cut contact with my aged mother. I forwent relations with family.

None of these were easy. I am not a prince.

One could say that I am simply a loser who could not hack it.

One could say that these were acts of stepwise renunciation. The integral over micro-renunciations has a similar effect to sudden departure.

 Or one could call deem them all the INFJ door slam, a fault in my character.

What is it that seeks success? It is the self and not the Soul. In this logic renunciation is indeed an act of self-sabotage. The ambitions of the self are stymied in stepwise succession. I know that I can live without any of these accoutrements. If you like I have physical plane proof by experience. I am not bound by the fear of missing out on a normal successful life.

I could be kidding myself. Trying to find an excuse for my squandering of opportunity. Or maybe I have simply thrown my toys out of my cot because things did not go my way.

Nobody else has experienced these things like I did. Nobody else has felt the tearing, the ripping. I am alone in my moccasins which I may not loan to another.

People might have opinions.

I cannot return to the trajectory my life was once on. Any attempt has gone badly awry. The dramatic might say that I am not meant to. Or one could argue that it is the karma of wanton squandering. I made the bed and now I must sleep in it.

There remains one question concerning what if anything I do with the remainder of earthly sojourn.

Hmnn…

ESA – ESTEC – Lizards – Iridium Dragon Dream 27-01-2011

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I am in a large factory like building which has tubes and air ducts. It is in a state of disrepair, there are things scattered all over the floor and many rooms there.

I am trying to calm K down. She is dishevelled and both angry and pleased with me at the same time. She is having one of her “turns” she is thrashing about. I restrain her and she bites my arm, taking out a large chunk. When she sees what she has done, the size of the hole, she is mortified.

The telephone rings and it is someone from ESTEC. They are talking about closing our relationship but first they want the pyrolysis data which I don’t have. I am having trouble hearing them and say so. The ‘phone call is going nowhere and it fades.

As I move through the building it is somehow linked to Imperial College. There is an announcement warning the employees not to let me leave. I make my way through the passages to the back door. I meet various people who know me.

One of them tries to restrain me using a fighting technique. I tell him to show me how strong he is. We spar a little and although he is, in the dream, huge compared to me I manage to fend off his attacks and eventually end by throwing him bodily against a wall.

I continue through the corridors making my way to the exit. Just as I get there two people see me and recognise me. I think they are going to try to stop me. They do not, they come with me through the exit.

Outside is like an oil refinery or chemical plant. I sense a wave coming and it has on it ice boulders. I shout a warning. The wave passes without damaging anything. There are big chunks of ice flying everywhere.

We head off into the snow covered countryside. Out of the snow appears enormous lizards whose tails we have to navigate. The other two head off and I make a note to follow them. I am obstructed by the lizards.

I climb over the lizards and then follow them under some railway into a valley / glade with water. There is a massive metallic Iridium dragon. I note that there are other people perched on the stone stream bed.

The dragon tells me not to worry, that we {the dragons} keep this place for human leisure pursuits and that I am always welcome.  There is a knowing that the lizards are also a posh kind of dragon.

I know that I am especially welcome there.

Dream ends

The next journal entry starts 30-1-2011.

“I have just trashed the job at ESA – ESTEC worth a lot of money. {>8000 euros a month tax free}. We don’t have very much money.”

The actual extraction out of contract was not straight forward and the finality took time and effort. K was not pleased.

Goal Orientation – Suffering and Dissatisfaction

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If you search for “coaching” you will find many people offering their services as coaches and often a part of this is setting goals or targets for success and advancement. Few notice the similarity of goal and gaol. People can become prisoners of their goal orientation. Society is obsessed with measurable metrics and tick lists of things to do, to the extent that life can be a wearisome endless list of devoirs. It is de rigueur to have goals and ambition it seems.

Siddartha wanted so badly to end suffering for all sentient beings, suffering, or dukka, can be translated as dissatisfaction.

I’ll make a statement: goal orientation is directly causal of dissatisfaction.

If you fail to make a goal you are dissatisfied, if you make a goal, you are temporarily done but the next goal awaits lurking on the horizon. Any “satisfaction” is fleeting. This measurement obsession more often than not suggests some measure of inadequacy, could do better.

People then have massive internal dialogue about whether of not they are meeting their goals. Internal dialogue is nearly always negative and hence the being suffers unnecessarily because of this internal “mental” cacophony.

Goal orientation and rush often skip hand in hand. Focussed only on the goal there is a tendency to finish quick and this can cause poor application to task and lower standards. Goal orientation can prevent impeccability. Eye on goal one does not fully absorb into whatever it is one is doing. There are distractions from other pending goals. Quality suffers on the noose of measurable quantity. Goals hang.

The antithesis of spiritual development is rush. It is impossible to rush it, but many try and seek milestones to prove progress. The hangover of societal obsession with goal orientation is difficult to ease.

Striving is a form of suffering.

Relaxation and complete absorption is the antidote. Complete absorption brings completion but without obsessional suffering. Complete absorption quietens the internal dialogue and therefore reduces dissatisfaction. Everyone knows when they have been impeccable. Impeccability is not an absolute. If you give completely of your current very best that is all you can do, this never brings dissatisfaction. Subsequent comparative internal dialogue can cause the nine headed hydra of dissatisfaction to rise again.

Internal dialogue is a primary cause of dissatisfaction and suffering.

Endless measuring is causal of dissatisfaction and suffering.

Comparison mind is directly causal of dissatisfaction.

Rational thinking causes dissatisfaction. Therefore, rational thinking is an irrational unwise thing to do. It does not make sense.

Of course, under certain circumstances one needs some rationality.

If one is ever goal oriented one never experiences the moment, the eternal now, because the goal is very distracting. Not being fully present causes dissatisfaction. If one lives in the twin worlds of what if and if only, there is rarely now. The past whether melancholic or rose tinted, the future whether idealised or catastrophe is not now, it is mind-stuff often of the nature of internal dialogue. Trash.

Goal orientation causes impatience which is a form of dissatisfaction. Goal orientation when one is driving a car is a cause of road rage.

Letting go of goal orientation is liberating.

Try it, having no goals is harder than it might seem, because societal habituation near worships them.

Hence there is suffering and dissatisfaction, which we might call samsara or saṃsāra, which is another term for endless human folly.

The Superpower of Patience

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I’ll speculate that immediacy and the immediacy of gratification are part of the modern way of life for many. People do not like to wait and many suffer badly from premature conclusion which can be messy. The concluding kangaroo can be found easily on all sides and people jump great distances to form dodgy yet firm conclusions without real basis. Many rely on what “they” say and are unwilling or too lazy to look into things themselves.

Śāntideva in the Bodhicharyâvatâra has a whole chapter on the virtues of forbearance which is a close ally of patience. The jewel of awareness forbearance is depicted by tarot 12.

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Sometimes you are required by karma to bear whatever life brings and to do so in as cheerful a manner as possible without pissing and moaning or whingeing like a stuck record. Often there is light at the end of the tunnel and it is not a TGV train oncoming.

This urge for immediacy means that long term policy making is neglected and life is governed by knee jerk reactions and sticking plaster temporary “solutions”. If it can’t be “sorted” quickly people lose interest. This condemns life to the shallows and the profound depths are never plumbed. It is a natural law that depth needs time and application. Concentration without distraction for extended periods brings insights more meaningful than a short flashy TikTok video. If you wait long enough an insight might come along and then just like with busses you may get several.

Humanity is in a rush like never before in some senses.

This means that the superpower of patience is fading and heading towards a mass extinction event. Being patient is not fashionable, nor is it good clickbait. Being patient is for losers. Gimme, gimme, gimme.

Aligning a complicated dye laser to give the best balance of laser power output and narrowness of spectral linewidth is nearly an art form. I refer to it as Zen and the Art of Laser Alignment. If you get twitchy and impatient it can go badly wrong and you are returned back to the start. All the good work can be undone by one or two impatient tweaks of a mirror positioning knob. If you note that you are losing patience, best to stop go out of the room and then come back calm to start again. In the past I could work at laser alignment in four hour sessions.

This loss of patience and hasty reaction is fairly prevalent. If gratification is not immediate interest is lost.

In Buddhism theory even after one has entered the stream it takes several lifetimes to complete liberation. Patience then is a scale. If one can work over many lifetimes that is patient. If one gets annoyed by the slow loading of a Netflix film, that is less patient. We boomers had ~50 kilobyte per second modems, we were initiated into patience thereby.

Pavlovian society is now conditioned to immediacy, buying in a click and getting food delivered to the doorstep in many places.

I wonder if I could survive the massed impatience and accompanying ire / agitation of London these days. For a long time, I was immersed therein. I doubt I could hack it now.

I think it fair to speculate that I am more patient than average. I can sit in a hospital waiting room without my comfort beads, by smartphone. I do not have to scroll frantically.

The need, it seems, for constant distraction is having a detrimental effect on mental health. The data dealers keep pushing more deal baggies of gigabytes at us, encouraging us to use high definition cameras like junkies to make huge files and selling ever more data to satisfy this addiction.

If people could go cold turkey on the taking and publication of all that imagery, the climate would not get so hot.

I think that were we all to better develop our superpower of patience, the world would be a better and perhaps more tolerant place. It would stop being so knee jerk reactive and it might even try to understand differing views and perspectives. It might ease the pervasive malady of premature conclusion.

Dragon Lore Dream 23-11-2024

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This is a short but very intense dream from ~ 4 AM

I am with MF whom I knew as an undergraduate. We are sat in the front room of a British house in which I am living temporarily. He is sat on leather bound armchair. We have invited him over for dinner. We have eaten and are relaxing in front of an open fire.

I am lying on my stomach on the floor. My legs are bent at the knee and moving freely. I am reading my beat-up copy of “The Mists of Dragon Lore”. I can see the well-thumbed yellowed pages. I turn to the back of the book. Inside the hard cover is attached a vellum high quality cream envelope, the flap of which is sealed down with a fine bright red braided fabric. I slowly unwind the fabric and open the flap of the envelope.

With utmost care I pull out a card like piece of paper which is like artist’s paper. Embossed into the paper is an exquisitely drawn oriental dragon. It is in jet black ink and is something to behold. Next to it in fine black calligraphy is written in Kanji is “the famed black dragon”. I show the dragon to M he admires it and thinks it odd that such a print is stored in such a tatty old book.

In the dream I note that this is the very first black dragon I have encountered. I have seen many other colours.

With greatest care I return the artwork to its envelope and retie the seal.

The scene changes and I am now with M in a freight railway carriage. The carriage is empty of goods. M turns to me and says that the mullahs are talking about the coming of a new buddha. I ask if he is referring to the Islamic mullahs. Yes. I say that I know a little bit about Buddhism.

M gets out a prayer mat and places it in one corner of the carriage. He sits on it. Two young white boys, young teenagers, follow suit sitting next to him. Without a prayer mat, I sit next to the youngest boy. I put my hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

The scene changes again and I am no longer in the carriage nor bound by the rails. I can go wherever I want.

Dream ends.

Dice Numerology Mantra and Periodic Table Dream – 20-11-2024

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Here is this morning’s dream segment perhaps following on from my Tibetan Dice dream at the beginning of November. I am in a project to carve some dice out of some Apple wood from our “orchard”.

In the dream I am shown a 3d image of a wooden die rotating in space. I note that the pairs of faces are 1 and 6, 3 and 4, 5 and 2. Each opposing pair adds up to 7 which in the dream I know to be the jewel of awareness 7, or need for guidance. I know that the maximum score of two dice is 12.

In the dream I know that 6 represents Carbon and 1 is Hydrogen. They are chemically fond of each other. Carbon plus Hydrogen is 7.

I picture a periodic table of elements and see 1 – Hydrogen, 2 – Helium, 3 – Lithium, 4 – Beryllium, 5 – Boron and 6 – carbon. I know that 7 is Nitrogen.

I understand that the dice represents the Mantra of Manjushri and chant it in the dream.

Om ah ra pa tsa na dhi.  

Wisdom ripens all sentient beings. Om 1 2 3 4 5 6

In the dream I know that Li and Be are highly reactive but I do not know much about Boron. Lithium is the basis of many batteries but it is very flammable in metallic form. Lithium is 3 mixed abundance.

I understand in the dream that I need to complete the manufacture of the dice and work on the Manjushri mantra.

Dream ends.

Note in Mo the numbering goes Om 6 5 4 3 2 1

Buddha Pronounces the Sūtra of the Total Annihilation of the Dharma

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This prompted by my dream see previous post.

Translated from Sanskrit into Chinese

by

An Unknown Person

Thus I have heard:

    At one time the Buddha, together with bhikṣus and Bodhisattvas, was staying in the city kingdom of Kuśinagara, where He would enter parinirvāṇa in three months. Countless multitudes came to the Buddha and bowed their heads down to the ground. Surrounded by His devotees longing to hear the Dharma, the World-Honored One remained silent, and His radiance did not manifest.

    The venerable Ānanda made obeisance to the Buddha and asked Him, “When the World-Honored One pronounces the Dharma, His awesome radiance is always displayed before and after. Now in this huge assembly, His radiance does not appear. Why is this so? There must be a reason. I pray to hear its implication.”

    The Buddha remained silent, not responding. After Ānanda asked this question for the third time, the Buddha told Ānanda, “After my parinirvāṇa, as the Dharma comes to an end, the way of the māras will thrive in this world of the five turbidities. Māras will appear as śramaṇas so as to undermine and destroy my Way. They will wear lay clothes and delight in the monk’s robe dyed with a mixture of five colors. To gratify ravenous appetites, they will drink alcohol, eat flesh, and kill sentient beings. Devoid of lovingkindness, they will hate and envy others.

    “At that time, there will be Bodhisattvas, Pratyekabuddhas, and Arhats, who energetically cultivate virtue and treat all with respect. Esteemed by all, they will teach and transform others impartially. They will pity the poor and old, and help the needy and unfortunate. They will teach others to revere and uphold the sūtras and the holy images. Kind and benevolent in nature, they will do meritorious karmas. Never harming others, they will disregard any harm to themselves in order to help others. Kind and friendly, they will endure abuse, not protecting themselves.

    “Although there will be such good people, all māra bhikṣus will be jealous of them. They will slander, malign, and banish them. Afterward, individually and as a group, the māra bhikṣus will not cultivate virtue. Temples will be deserted, falling into disrepair then into ruins. Greedy for material wealth, they will accumulate things, not using them to acquire merit. They will sell slaves to work in the fields. Devoid of lovingkindness, they will burn mountain forests, harming sentient beings. Male slaves will become bhikṣus, and female slaves will become bhikṣuṇīs. Devoid of morality, they will engage in sexual debauchery and perversion, whether with men or women. Such people will cause my Way to fade away.

    “Some of them will seek sanctuary in my Order to escape prosecution by the law. They will become śramaṇas but will not observe the precepts or regulations. Although they will, in appearance, recite the precepts on new-moon and full-moon days, they will be reluctant and indolent, not wanting to hear the recitation. They will omit some precepts, not wanting to recite all of them. They will not recite or study the sūtras. If there are readers who do not know the words [in the sūtras], they will claim that they know them. They will not consult the learned ones, but will instead seek fame for self-elevation. They will glorify themselves with fake elegant ways, expecting offerings from others. For committing any of the five rebellious sins, after death, these māra bhikṣus will fall into the hell of uninterrupted suffering. They will then be reborn as animals or hungry ghosts for as many kalpas as the sands of the Ganges. After their sins have been purged, they will be reborn [as humans] in a fringe country where the Three Jewels will not be accessible.

    “When the Dharma is ending, women will diligently do meritorious karmas while men will be indolent and arrogant. Men, having no faith, will not use the words in the Dharma, but will regard śramaṇas as feces and dirt. When the Dharma is ending, gods will shed tears. Flood and drought will ravage, and five kinds of grain will not ripen. Epidemics will be prevalent and many will die. People will endure a hard life, and government officials will exploit them. People will not follow good principles, thinking only of pleasure and strife. The evil ones will become as numerous as the sands in the sea. The good ones will decrease to one or two. As a kalpa is ending, the sun and the moon will be unstable and human lifespan will shorten. At the age of 40, one’s hair will turn white. Men indulging in sexual acts may die prematurely from depletion of their semen, or may live to only 60. While men will live short lives, women will live long to 70, 80, 90, or even 100 years. Faithless people will say that the situation can be permanent.

    “A massive flood will suddenly rise, lasting endlessly. Various species of sentient beings, lofty or lowly, will drown or drift in the waters, and they will be eaten by fish and other sea creatures. Bodhisattvas, Pratyekabuddhas, and Arhats, driven away by the māras, will not convene. [These holy beings of] the Three Vehicles will enter the meritorious grounds in the mountains. There they will live a long life, tranquilly biding their time. They will meet with one another when the god-kings escort Moonlight Bodhisattva to appear in the world. Together they will revitalize my Dharma for fifty-two years.

    “Then the Śūraṅgama Sūtra and the Pratyutpanna Buddha Sammukhāvasthita Samādhi Sūtra will be destroyed, to be followed by all other sūtras in the twelve categories. Their words will not be seen again. The monk’s robe will naturally turn white. When my Dharma perishes, it will be like [the flame of] an oil lamp. When it is dying, its light becomes brighter for a while then dies out. When my Dharma perishes, it will be like the extinction of a lamp. What will happen afterward is hard to describe. Eventually, after tens of millions of years, Maitreya Bodhisattva will descend to this world to become a Buddha. All toxic gases will then be eliminated, and the world will be safe and peaceful. The rains will be harmonious and the five grains will thrive. The trees will be tall, and humans will each be eighty feet tall, with a lifespan of 84,000 years. Innumerable sentient beings will be delivered.”

    The venerable Ānanda made obeisance to the Buddha and asked Him, “What should we call this sūtra? How should we uphold it?”

    The Buddha replied, “Ānanda, this sūtra is called Total Annihilation of the Dharma. Pronounce it to all and let them know its significance. Your merit will be immeasurable, beyond reckoning.”

    The four groups of disciples, having heard this sūtra, were distressed and downcast, but they all activated their resolve to attain the unsurpassed bodhi. Then they made obeisance to the Buddha and departed.

False Monks – Karmic Stones – Car Park Dream – 16-11-2024

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Here is this morning’s dream had after seeing the full moon light up the garden through our glass back door.

I am at some kind of a modern retreat centre. It is in a grand European style mansion. I leave my room and head downstairs into the atrium and start of the dining area. I run into a number of people dressed as Buddhist monks. The colours of their robes are vibrant and the quality of the cloth luxurious. Although they have shaved heads they are heavily made up with lipstick, eyeliner, eyeshadow and face powder. They greet me good morning. It is more than a tad bizarre.

They ask me if I remember Antoine. (A Russian I once met). Yes, a little. He comes into the atrium dressed as a monk with very short dark black hair. I do not recognise him. He too is made up.

They ask me what I want for breakfast. I only want to have some water for coffee. They say that they can’t allow that. I should join the other guests in the new dining block which is their pride and joy. It is the latest addition to the centre. They gesture towards an orangery type of out building the other side of a small canal or river. There I can see well heeled and expensively dressed men and women enjoying a hearty breakfast with fresh juices. These are paying guests.

I say that I only need coffee because I have work to do. Reluctantly they let me help myself to only a large mug of strong black coffee.

I head out and up a nearby hill. I find a pile of large stones there which I have previously placed. These are my rocks of karma which I have carried up the hill. It is time to take them down, put them in my car and dispose of them. I start to roll the stones down the hill. Some of them roll easily and accumulate near the edge of the retreat car park. Others take more effort to budge and roll in a more haphazard manner. These ones after rolling a while vanish into thin air. I do not need to take them home.

I get to the bottom of the hill and start to load the stones into the boot of my car. My car is small and light coloured. The car park is jammed with very little space between the cars. All the cars are pointing up hill except mine. Many are black and like 1960s style American sedans. My car is at the far side of the car park nearer the exit. There are only two rows of cars between me and the exit. I am blocked in. There is a young woman dressed in 1960s style clothes with a VW beetle which is pink. She moves her car to unblock my path. She then gets into another big black car blocking and manoeuvres that so that I can leave the car park.

I drive off out of the car park.

I know that all the cars, cheek and jowl, pointing the wrong way is a wider metaphor for humanity and its glamour and gluttony. I know that that the made up monks are trying to be popular and because of that set a bad example. They are also glamoured.

Dream ends