Power and the Intimate Privacy of Death

It is warm and sunny outside, so perhaps it is safer to write on these things. Although physical plane death may be public there is a private intimate part not shared by the consciousness of the living and those not in the transition. Ostensibly death may be quick brought on by an IDF bullet or a heart attack. It could be a slow drawn out process mediated by an ailing brain or a bleed. One could have a physically easy or a physically painful death. I have had both. These days death under morphine is not uncommon. Many full of bravado are nevertheless fear-full of that tap on the shoulder. It re-presents the time when the croupier of life spins the roulette wheel after shouting,

 « Mesdames et messieurs, faites vos jeux ! »

For logically we all know we are placing our bets on what may or may not happen when we die. The ball rolls and stops and we find out if we have won or lost.

History tells of many a shit-scared monarch buying papal indulgences on his death bed in an attempt to bribe God.

I’ll state here that I am not the kind of being who tries to use or take advantage of others. It is not my basic orientation. I am more likely to facilitate, to try help. We all have faults and mine is less nasty. I have to the detriment of others allowed myself to be used. I have robbed them in a sense of the battles which they may have faced. Because I have faced things for them. This in a way, although perhaps altruistic, is disempowering.

I have met a number of people losing their battle with power over the years. Caught up in the process they were and would be unable to see or accept that this is the case. Weirdly the power-flame attracts many a moth on the make, only for a singeing of wings. The lust for a share in apparent power is perhaps the most blinding thing which can happen to a being. They see only with blinkered eye the power, and not the consequence both on others and on them. Most people guess they can handle power. Most people are wrong, for it is power which handles them and changes them. Many in the throes of their battle with power present themselves as some beacon of light when they are anything but. Power deludes those hungry for it and their supporters. Power likes to justify.

I’ll make a little aside here. If there is significant influx of first ray “will-to-power” energy the number of people losing their battle with power will rise and a dark, dark, cloud will result. The first ray is very difficult to handle and cope with. Any crack, any latent cruelty, any lust for power over, will be activated.

The individual mentioned in my dream taught me a lot, for which I am thankful. Primarily he showed behaviours which I did not like and did not want to adopt for myself. It was an exemplar of what I did not want to become. At the same time I was interacting with others a tad obsessed with power and in some cases position.  I have never wanted to be lord and master with minions, slaves and serfs. Others like to lord it over; some like to be lorded over. I was not infected by his mood and intent.

Power in its knowledge aspect is inconspicuous and not ostentatious. It is gathered and stored, rarely is it exercised. Depending on predilection one may gather like a squirrel. Personally I have always been interested in learning.

That time in the very first part of this century I was engaged in what hindsight suggests was my battle with power. Clearly the scale was rather local, but I was presented with many temptations, the trappings of power. Luckily, I was largely able to resist those temptations, those traps and did not become an “A” grade arse. Other people I knew may have been less resilient and perhaps fell to the traps, the whims of power.

The thing is that power and evil have a kind of symbiotic relationship. Power is the lure; the bait of evil who can tie an appropriate fly for whatever fish it seeks. Evil ever the strategist and craftsman can, when and if needed, be subtle.

In modern days the notion of evil has become quasi-taboo which is testament to the guile and skill of evil.

I do not pretend to know the mind of the dark adepts and those drawn to them. The more evolved of them, aware of much, must make a calculation pertaining to death. That calculation at one level must offset the difficulty of transition with the perceived reward of a life of power. Only they would be able to comment if they have struck a good deal, made a good bargain.

I personally, this afternoon, in the middle of the day, am ready. In a sense I have already embraced my death.

There is a chance that you and I will meet gain at the hour of your death. You can decide for yourself if that is some morbid shit I made up, or not…

“Don’t know where
Don’t know when
But I know we’ll meet again some sunny day”

Terry – Evil Entity – Vajrapāṇi  Dream – 25-08-2025

Here is last night’s dream and my subsequent initial response to it. It was from before 3 AM.

The dream starts with me outside a car rental forecourt in southern England. Terry appears there on the opposite side of the road. He is, as he was wont, emanating aggression and anger in my direction. He saw me as the one he had to destroy. He is mouthing a foul invective about me and at me. He trying to catch the ears of anyone who will listen, any passersby. He is trying to talk me down and big himself up, as he did in real life. He imagines that he was responsible for the inventions and even claims this. He is full of anger, resentment and is not having a pleasant time of it. He is experiencing and emanating a dark cloying malevolence.

I cross the road and stand very calmy in front of him an arm’s length away. He continues to emit vitriolic anger, hard-done by vibes, fear and  clinging anger. They wash over me and he is disconcerted that I remain unaffected.

In the dream I know that I am witnessing an aspect of the evil which was in him. I know that this is a part of his death dance. The restless and unsatisfied, the angry and the bilious as he is slowly taken out of life kicking, sulking and most of all blaming, blaming, blaming. He blames me, others and the entire world because things did not go entirely how he wanted according to his whim. His death is very uncomfortable. As he passes out from this world, I see an evil entity leave and reluctantly let go of the dying form. It is a shimmer of dark malevolent tendrils, evil, now looking for a host.

I see next a young man of in-between “gender” in a hotel room. He has blonde hair and an androgenous look. He is psychiatrically unwell and contemplating suicide. I see the tendrils enter the man and he briefly wakes up coughing and spluttering as the entity tries to enter. I assist him in waking and forbidding the entity. The man is writhing around in struggle with difficulty gasping breath. I command him to wake up which he does and immediately reaches over to turn on the hotel room lights. He is dripping in sweat and very disoriented.

I awake and note that I too am disoriented.

I instinctively start Guru Rinpoche and Vajrapāṇi tantric practice for protection. I chant silently and invoke and create a full-blown Vajrapāṇi visualisation of considerable size which has persisted in consciousness afterwards and is still resident as I type. I make other tantric adjustments before falling off to sleep.

Maybe it is time for me to fully verbalize events from back then.