Various questionnaires / tools can be found online for sampling quality of life and the perceived quality thereof. I like quizzes. Some assess physical disability and pains as an attempt to “quantify” decision for surgery, inter alia, for hip replacements. There are mood questions which probe how much of a victim one feels, how hard done by one imagines self to be and the quantity of social interaction. Many of these questions are comparative to “others” which are a bit iffy. They should perhaps be rephrased “by comparison to your perception of how others are or might be”. They are all deeply rooted in a socially conditioned view of society. Some ask about satisfaction.

“How satisfied are you with your….”

This is probing dissatisfaction, dukkha, suffering, in terms of Buddhist thinking. It is probing how well accustomed and acclimatised you are with the social illusion. It evens asks how happy you are!!

Scanning through these questions there is no box for “does not apply”. In many cases this is the one I would tick.  

I am sure that many of my answers born of detachment might solicit a diagnosis of depression. Though I am far from depressed. I am not goal oriented and obsessed with comparative “success”. I do not want to shag like a rabbit. I don’t give a shit about my appearance.

They ask how lonely you are, how much help you get from friends….

They do not ask how easy it is for you to get away from hordes of loud irritating people, to find some peace, silence and tranquillity.

My self-perception is that I am no longer able bodied. Yet I can do things a desk-jockey cannot do. I can still chop wood with a four and half pound axe. I cannot walk for much more than a kilometre before the pepper-mill hips grind to a halt. Technically speaking I am at least partially disabled.

I don’t feel particularly ill or unwell, but others may consider me to be that way. Normal for me may be unwell for others. That is the thing about personal normality, it creeps up on you, you become accustomed to your day to day physical reality. Your normal may differ from that held by the eponymous “they”. Some may even pity me, slightly.

“He should be out socialising in a large group walking with a tour guide, with conviviality. He should be a member of social societies, mixing and having fun! At his age it is a shame…Poor man…”

“Humanity” likes to foist its ideas and preconceptions upon others.

In my mind there are some health leads pertaining to blood and osteoporosis that need followed up. There is the possibility that I might be allowed to have hip replacements. This is not a given. I read today that the BMI Nazis in the UK are trying to force people to lose weight before operating and that a high BMI increases waiting time.

Great logic, someone is fat, stop them exercising because of pain and expect them to lose wait before you enable them to exercise. Vicious circle – methinks. Well done NHS accountants…top job.

I do know intellectually that increasing co-morbidity number points towards a decreased life expectancy. I am well in that camp.

Should the time come, I imagine myself ready.

What would a psychologist make of that statement?