Can Reality Be Difficult to Accept?

I’ll speculate that many people have expectations about how things should be and how they ought to turn out. They may have difficulty when observable realities differ from those expectations. The facts, so to speak, can be difficult to accept.

We live here on a small pension, in a quasi-hermit like manner. There is very little social interaction. The wife speaks to some friends by Zoom. This morning, I unblocked the sewage system for around the tenth time. Tomorrow I am going to have some X-ray images of pelvis and hips taken to see how far they have deteriorated since last time. I doubt they will operate yet because French logic says that my life expectancy is something like another 20 years. Personally, I can’t see myself living that long, I could be wrong.

Yup I have some pretty far-out dreams and occasionally read some science and muse on it. That is the sum total of measurable objective reality. We will probably not leave our department any-time soon. We have mooted a short trip to Jersey to go to Pizza Express and Waitrose. We have not left Brittany for six years now, aside from a short week house hunting in Loire. I have not been on a plane since Autumn 2018.

The likelihood of me being in New Zealand as per this morning’s dream is vanishingly small, we could not afford it. There is no way that I would get an invite to a conference.

I have not spoken to anyone from my last employer for 17 years, yet from time to time they / it pop up in my dreams. I can speculate why. But in honesty I have no real reliable idea. Maybe this trajectory should not have happened, it ought to be different, only it isn’t. It is irreversible.

I get Buddhist themes in dreams but I am not in contact with any Buddhists nor do I pertain to a Sangha.

Unless something totally untoward happens, we shall pootle on here, doing a bit of gardening weather and health permitting. The visit to Jersey will advise on how we cope being surrounded by English. The game plan to down size is a chronic not acute one.

My dreams point at people finding this observable reality difficulty to accept.

It is not complicated. Perhaps that is the problem, it is just too simple for people to get their head around.

In 2023 and 2024 I had 70 typed up dreams making 140 in total

So far in January 2025 I have had 15 dreams which is a steep increase in rate. I have zero idea about where if anywhere it is going.

We shall see if the rate continues…

Is my dreaming a way of me escaping from my observable reality?

I don’t think so…

Hmnn…

School – Mess – Misunderstanding – Barefoot – NZ Farm Dream 29-01-2025

This dream was from around 5 AM this morning.

The dream opens in a conference / sports facility which is shared by a female and a male fee-paying private schools. The schools are top end, and the facility is top notch but shared. There is both history and luxury. My team and I are clearing up after a successful course for teenagers from disturbed backgrounds. The course has gone well but our efforts to tidy are hindered by the incredible mess left by the previous users. Trays from the canteen are left partially washed, clogging up the sinks, the bins are full. Most of it is not our mess, but we need to clean it up to hand over to the next users. We struggle to get things sorted. The wife’s open heeled brown shoes have been left in different places. I get them together. It is late afternoon, and the new delegates are arriving. At last, the place is ship shaped, and Bristol fashioned.

The incoming users are a high-level international conference with many big cheeses from academia, government and business. We are just making our way to the school sleeping accommodation. Prof. T and several of his colleagues are entering the atrium as we leave. He comes over to me and congratulates me for being invited to this high-level conference. I explain to him that I have not been invited and nor am I participating. Those are not circles I walk in and I probably never will. He is surprised. I say that I have just done a course for a couple of dozen semi-delinquent teenagers. He does not get it. It does not fit his picture.

We head off to the accommodation blocks and fall tired onto the bed to sleep. It is a long drive back.  During the night I need a piss. There is for us, no ensuite. I will have to use the toilet block down the corridor. I wrap a towel around my waist and go to piss in a big metal urinal.

The scene changes and I am walking around a very muddy farm. I am wearing my combats and a white sports vest. I explore the farm enjoying the mud on my bare feet and through my toes. I know that the farm is a part of the school and conference complex. It provides fresh produce. I know that the whole thing is set in New Zealand.

As I turn the corner I am met by a Kiwi farmer. He asks what I am doing. I explain that I have just done a course at the school. He says that it is a bit strange to see me walking bare foot in all the mud and that it must hurt. I say that because I partially grew up in Oz and Southern Africa that it is normal for me. He turns to a mate and says that all bloody Aussies are nuts.

The dream ends.

Is Time Quantised Dream 28-01-2025

Here is last night’s dream. It is not the sort of dream you want to have if you are trying to go back to sleep. It gets you thinking that although energy and matter (particles) can be quantized, time is not, whereas dimension can give rise to quantisation. Our cosmological conception is very reliant on our notion of “universal” constants. We rely on atomic clocks to define time and the speed of light to define dimension.

The dream starts with me sat in an armchair nearly opposite Théun. There is a low-level table, and we are looking in the same direction but not at each other. On the table are tallish glasses with a straw and some kind of spirit and mixer drink. There is a bowl of pistachios.

The gist of conversation is to do with seeing. I ask him when he looks forward at the possibilities in the web of life does he see and thereby know which ones are more likely. He says that he does and that the further into left sided awareness he goes the more obvious the trajectory is. He comments that seeing is only ever a snapshot of possibility. I ask when he looks backwards in time how does it differ. He says that the before-time is confined whereas the aftertime is more expansive. He says that seeing backwards offers a different interpretation and collection of events as they were once perceived.

I say that back when I used to do this his description is similar to what I used to observe with one difference I tended never to select any likelihood from the possibilities. I comment that our whole world view is largely dependent on a currently expansive universe due to the so-called big bang. Time’s arrow is expanding dimension and space.

I say that there could be some granularity or quantisation to time. There could be vector like behaviour. Two back vectors make perception go to before-time. Two forward vectors take perception to aftertime or future. Whereas one back and one forward are now and that is in a sense eternal.

I say that I stopped trying to see, because that seemed a bit like an attempt to control, cheating even.  If we quantise time and space, will that remove the quantisation from matter and energy?

In the dream I say that the ways of the old although useful and familiar, may have to cede to newer lighter ways.

The dream ends and I am caught up thinking about it. I decide to park it and try to go back to sleep. I can always type up the dream and re-visit in the morning.

Buddhist Monastery – Dual Airport – Flight Lieutenant – Dream 27-01-2025

This dream from between 2 and 4 AM.

The dream starts in the refectory area of a Buddhist monastery. I am wearing one of my white collarless shirts which is slightly open in the front. My hair is fresh from a recent buzz cut and I am clean shaven. Everyone is sat on the floor on a cushion with a Tali style platter of Indian food in front of them. We all have roti and a small bowl of rice.

The land around the monastery is very mountainous. There is little vegetation and a glacial melt stream / river. There are rocks strewn widely. It is dry.

The monks are wearing largely maroon colour robes and I know them to be of a Tibetan inspired Vajrayana lineage. I am sat in front of the room facing in. The monks are all asking me questions. The atmosphere is cheerful and light.

Sat next to me is a young woman dressed in a lay robe. She has very short black hair and is of an Indian colouring. Her English is impeccable and I know that she is also a Flight Lieutenant in the Indian Air Force. There is a sense of latent royalty or nobility to her. She is very respectful.

The monks keep asking me questions, they do not want me to go.

Eventually I plead my goodbyes and together with the officer head off in an open top jeep to the airport. The airport has a civilian and a military entrance. We go in via the military one, she gets a salute. The airport has a dual purpose.

We pull up next to a Cessna two seater propeller driven plane. I am to fly us out with her as a co-pilot. The night has started to fall and there is an incoming mist. I say to the woman that I am not confident that I could fly out of there. She agrees that I do not have the experience and that it would be dangerous.

She offers to drive me back to the monastery and I accept. I am welcomed and know that because the weather is closing in, I might be here for a few more days. The monks are happy with this.

The dream ends.

As I come to, I am reminded of Leh airport in Ladakh which on a quick Google search is due a second runway to enhance its military capabilities. The civilian airport is called Leh Kushok Bakula Rinpoche Airport. The online images of which are mostly consistent with the dream

Cats – Dogs – Alien Pods – Caduceus Dream 26 -01-2025

This dream was from between 2 and 5 AM this morning.

The dream opens in Imperial College, South Kensington Campus. I am walking from Chemistry to the Sherfield building. On the first floor I pass a meeting area / café where people are sat around table having “important” meetings. I see a white sofa with vinyl / fake leather cushions. I pick up a white seat cushion and take it with me to a carpeted chill out area. There are many young people sat there on the thick pile carpet.

At the back of the room near the wall is a big sofa. I go and park my cushion there. On the sofa is sat a young black man with his black cat who has luxuriant fur and is wearing glasses. The cat greets me and nuzzles. The man has two other cats with him, making a total of three. He asks if I have cats. Yes, we have one.

I turn my back and he morphs into a large black and brown coon hound {image checked on Google} with him on the sofa is Rhodesian Ridgeback. The coon hound comes over to me, still seated and makes a fuss of me slobbering slightly. The cats have disappeared.

I get up and leave the building wearing no shoes only black woollen socks. I start to wark around South Kensington. In the sky I can see strange disturbances where pods materialise out of thin air and start to descend to slowly to earth, I know they are not of this planet.

I decide to go back into Sherfield to get my boots and lap top. In the dream I know that I might need them in the days to come. I put on my ankle length boots which have a three golden buckles to the outer side of each foot. The boots are pointy and made of high quality leather. My lap top is in a black carry case with a shoulder strap.

I continue my exploration of that part of London. I note multiple more pods arrive. As they materialise there is a temporary rip in space-time. There is no sound associated nor do I hear any landing.

I am now in a covered area open to the air. I am giving a talk to a small number of people al fresco. I am running a small video camera which is recording. It is capturing multiple materialisation events. Someone says that perhaps I should offer this to the BBC.

There is much consternation about the events happening and warnings are issued by the government. I find a small antique red covered book and am reading it. A man comes over and inspects. He says that it is a shame it is in disrepair. I offer it to him and he accepts as if it is a treasure. He will restore it.

The alien pods have started to cause people to float as if relatively gravity free. This means that I can fly without it causing comment. So, I start bouncing far off the ground for joy. I can see that R is heading a bit too swiftly back to earth so using telekinesis I slow his descent.

I decide that I need to go home and search for a tube station. I have been wandering and come across a Central Line station. The announcer warns that due to fuel shortages they are running a much reduced service. I know that I need to change to the Victoria Line to get home to South London, Brixton. I have not used the tube in decades.  A young woman takes pity on me and helps me find the appropriate station and to use the last ever coin operated ticket machine. The fare is three euros. I take three bright green euro coins out of my pocket in turn and pay for my ticket. Which arrives like an old-school paper bus ticket.

The young woman is going my way. I note that she is skinny and only wearing a white t-shirt. She is cold. I offer her my jacket, which she tries on. It is way too big. I suggest that she sits on my lap and that we both wear the jacket with two arms per sleeve. This will warm her up for the onward journey when we part ways. The tube arrive and heads East to the junction with the Victoria Line. The woman is sat on my lap and we share the jacket until I get off.

I arrive in Brixton. It is pitch black with reduced street lighting and the early hours of the morning. The market from Electric Avenue has spilled out onto the high street because there are no cars running. There is a kind of party atmosphere.

I walk through the market and climb the stairs to my apartment. I enter and close the white door. As a precaution I also slip across the white painted locking bolt. I sit down at the table and boot up my lap top.

I hear a knock at the door. I go closer. A voice says open up the door. I say who is it? It repeats just open the door. The voice is female.

Cautiously I open the door and standing there is a young woman holding an A4 sized porcelain upon which is painted a golden Caduceus superimposed on three intersecting circles such that the point where the snakes head meets the staff is at the centre of the three circles.  She hands me the porcelain and says, “this is yours”. I take the porcelain and it feels light and familiar in my hands. I can also feel it within me.

The dream ends.



The Problem with Introverts…

I’ll kick this off with a joke I used to use on my MBTI courses which I gave.

An Introvert Joke

It’s a rainy day. The reception teacher is getting the kids ready to go home. She struggles for 5 minutes with one child’s boots, tugging them on and getting them laced up.

Just as she’s finished, the I child says, “those aren’t my boots”. The teacher sighs and spends another few minutes undoing them and taking them off.

Just as she’s finished, the child adds, “They’re my brother’s. My mum said I had to wear them today.”

In the MBTI context I have an INFJ preference. I score very high for introversion and judging but my intuition {N} score is close to the maximum available. That intuition is introverted so largely unseen. That means I have a highly organised orientation which is strictly timed with big picture thinking. If people are late and chaotic I can get unsettled / peeved. People see my warm caring feeling F side but I can easily flip to the more logical T side.

For years I acted out ENTJ because I thought that was what blokes were meant to be.

Over the years many people have expressed an opinion about what I am like, who I am, what I am capable off, what my predilections are. They may have expected some kind of response. Rarely did they get one. I am not keen on arguing the toss. It is a stupid waste of time. Some people learn by testing their ideas out in conversation and may expect a push back. Why should I do their work for them? As an introvert I very rarely offer up information or opinion. If I do it will be in a tiny stepwise manner. If things are joined up in my inner world, I have no need to express it. Viewed from one angle few if any get to see what might be called “me”. One could be mysterious and say that I am like an iceberg with hidden depths and not a lettuce like Liz.

I have noted that if you don’t agree or disagree with what someone says they imagine it to be correct, perhaps more correct than it actually is. I could be wrong in this but my intuition can be very reliable. It is not my problem if they have the wrong end of the stick.

People who are fond of bullshitting whether mutual or otherwise, can feel uncomfortable because I don’t play the BS / hype / exaggerate / big up game. Women are less prone to this discomfort than men. Who seem to need ritual sniffing and metaphorical at urinal wall pissing contests. In any case I now have an enlarged prostate. I can be very deadpan and uninterested. There is no uncomfortable silence for me.

It is funny in doctor’s waiting rooms. I do not arse about on my ‘phone, I do not read the magazines and never break the silence in an attempt to have a chat. Someone often breaks. They try to engage. Here I can apologize and explain that I do not speak French well. This nearly always restores the silence. Many are uncomfortable without noise.

In one particular framework my predilection is for dreaming and not (s)talking and I am “in” the place of power and dreaming, the South. I have met a number of people who give courses on dreaming and lucid dreaming in particular. Each of these has been by predilection a (s)talker. Which roughly maps with extroversion. They like techniques like waking in the middle of the night, working with apps and finding their hands to prove that they are in a lucid dream. They interrupt the dream to direct it. In one sense they have talked at an experienced dreamer. They were used to being seen as the expert.

It is possible that they could have learned vast amounts about dreaming from me. But the biggest hindrance to dreaming is talking. They will never know what might have been because I felt no need to big myself up or compare dreaming cock size. I did not need to name drop and show how “in” I was with the dreaming community.

The problem with introverts is that if you talk at them. They will stay schtum and say little or nothing. If you ask, they might just respond, depending on wind direction and the phase of the moon.

It is even worse in my case because I have no need to play the itchy back game because I am no longer in that world. There is currently no need for me to join in…

House Renovation – Dead People – Dream Within a Dream 23-01-2025

This dream was highly unusual firstly because it finished ~ 8 AM, which is late and secondly because of the utter vividness of the last segment. The wife said that I was thrashing about in bed before waking.

As usual I am aware that I am dreaming. We are having a terraced house renovated. It is one of the many Victorian houses in London. The wife and I are going to visit to see how things are going. The front door is wide open, so we knock, shout hello and go in. There are a few young decorators including a black man in overalls in the ground floor back and a young white woman in dungarees up a ladder. From her hair cut and demeanour I know that she is a butch lesbian. She has a roll up cigarette in her mouth and her hair is tied with a red kerchief. We ask how it is going and she says that the are pretty much on schedule.

The wife needs to get the tube to Wimbledon for work and I know we are in South London. As we go to leave the woman says to me, “as-salāmu ʿalaykum.” I say the same thing back and she says no I must say, “wa ʿalaykumu s-salām”. Which I do and we have a laugh. I say, “see you soon”. I know that she is not Muslim.

As we leave the property the wife is partially down the street. I call for her to stop. I am wearing black knee length riding boots. I take these off and put them in the pile of debris in the front “garden”. I catch up with the wife barefoot. We head off to the underground.

Later in the dream I return to the house around dusk. I can’t at first see it. Then I see a bright pastel blue two seater sofa in the bay window and bright royal blue walls. I know this to be the place. So again, I knock and shout hello before entering. The doors are unlocked. In the back room I find the black man he has finished for the day and his overalls are on the back of a chair. He is sat looking at something on the dresser. He has round wire rimmed spectacles on and I know that although he is decorating he is scholarly. We inspect an antique radio made out of finest wood veneer. It is playing a radio station. The wires are old school entwined pair. Slowly with a jeweller’s screw driver he lifts the top off so that we can look at the mechanism. Where I was expecting some valve amplification of signal someone has patched in a FET amplifier circuit. We both comment that this devalues the piece but both agree it is a thing of beauty. He asks me what the story of the house is.

I say that the previous owner lived here for around ninety years and before that his dad. The house has been in the family since construction. He has recently died.

At this moment an older man appears he is dressed in tweeds. He asks, “what did you say about my son?” I say that I did not know him personally but the rumour is that he was a very genteel and nice man. I know that I am talking to the ghost father of the previous owner. He shows me to a cupboard where there is a magnificent brass telescope and tripod for bird watching. I ask what the arrangement for picking up the keys is when the decorating is finished. He says that someone from the office will be in touch. I note a very feint hint of Afrikaans accent. I leave and go home.

Next, I awake with a start in a double bed with crisp linen sheets and a polished wooden frame in a dark antique wood. There is an antique dresser made to the same high standard and of the same dark wood (mahogany?). I am in the down stairs bedroom of the house. There is a window looking out onto the back “garden”. I know in the dream that I am dreaming the room and the bed. I must wake up so that I can get back to my normal bed. On the dresser are two highly unusual pill bottles. They are bright lurid purple with small white metallic bottle tops. I try to read the handwritten labels. I cannot discern clearly. The glass of the bottles is opaque. I wonder if I am supposed to take them in the dream. I decide not to.

In the room next which is now of large proportions I see the father and son dressed in a manner of the early part of the twentieth century looking at a large table with maps and charts on. There is an architectural drawing on an easel. The father is smoking an old style pipe and has a watch on a chain. They do not see me.

I go back to the bedroom to try to figure out what to do.

I lie down on the bed and something inside draws me to look at the window. I see a female face pressed against the window. I am utterly startled in the dream, shocked. I clasp my hands to my chest and say “fuck”.  The woman sees that she has startled me and apologises profusely. She gestures for me to open the back door. I do this and let her in. She says that she has not been in the house for a long time. She is dressed in a modest sized vintage bustle dress of a maroon colour. She says that she has come to observe what is going on. I note a South African accent. She says that back in the day her father had a roving eye and that they suspected he had a mistress in London. He used to travel regularly between home, the plantation, and London. She thinks it possible that her “brother” got the house instead of her. Implied is that the house owner is her half-brother by another woman.

The dream ends and I wake with a start. Where did that come from?

The first thought was of a reversionary property the wife has and what if someone has just died.

Unexploded Karmic Bombs Dream 28-02-23.

Here is the most vivid segment of last night’s dream.

I know that the dream is set in England, it is in London, the home counties and Cambridgeshire. In the dream the lighting of the gardens is pink-yellow and of the in between. I cannot be sure if it is dawn or dusk, nor if the light has been altered by Saharan sand in the air.

In the dream I am indoors looking out onto successive back gardens which vary in size and composition. I am moving between gardens and viewpoints.  In London, I see in a number of different gardens, small bombs fall from the sky, one or two per garden. They land tail fin up and I know that these bombs are karmic bombs, which will detonate one day. The karma will then be irrevocably released.

The same pattern is repeated for several gardens which I know to be in the home counties close to London. The bombs are of varying sizes, some big and others quite small. The scene moves on to a bigger garden which I know to be in Cambridgeshire. Here again bombs fall from the sky and implant in the earth. They are of varying size and one of them, which is ticking, is quite large.

I know in the dream that people do not believe in karmic bombs and as a consequence they will not take any action to address karma which they think may not manifest. People think that they have gotten away with it. I know in the dream that this attitude is a very grave mistake. There are more karmic bombs to fall from the sky.

Dream ends…

Imperial College Office – Explanations Dream 21-01-2025

Here is last night’s dream. I can think of no reason on this side of the channel for why I had this dream.

The dream starts in my old office in the Department of Chemistry, Imperial College, South Kensington Campus of nearly twenty years ago. Word has gotten round that I am leaving. Several of my colleagues come into the office, they are in a jocular, non-serious mood. They are not aware that I mean business and am not bluffing or negotiating.

I say to them that I do not believe that they can conceptualize the notion of me quitting without pressure or reward. They don’t get that I am doing the opposite of what most people are trying to do, namely, to secure their position and job. They think that I have gone mental, and have mental health problems, that I have somehow lost the plot.

I say that mentality divergence and novel behaviours are often misunderstood and frowned upon. I know that it is a complete non sequitur for them.

I say that acts of renunciation are Christian or monastic behaviours. They look dumfounded. I say that I may be prone to such things.

I say besides I have my book of dreams which I use to guide my life. There are hundreds of dreams. One of them says that he too has dreams and that he understands.

I say take me to human resources and I will sign the document now. We get up and move. At the door I pause and say maybe it might be better to wait until after the weekend to finalise because I have not yet told the wife.

The dream ends and I think that this was out of the blue and weird for something that old.

Montgomery Farm – Intelligence Service – Handcuff Dream 07-03-2020

I am somehow viewing our old house in Surrey, Montgomery’s Farm. I can see our landlord he is being interviewed by several official looking people concerning me. He says, “As far as I know they were polite, well behaved and generally liked. Then one day they pretty much upped sticks and disappeared. Nobody knew they were planning to do this !!”

I look down and see that our landlord has with him a dog with two heads.

Later...

I am, for whatever reason, staying in a large country house, a mansion with reddish bricks and very grand. It looks out across open fields and a valley. I can see woodland on the side of the hill on the far side of the valley. The house is set in the UK.

I am in the kitchen cooking a ratatouille style dish with courgettes and tomatoes. Two men and a woman arrive at the door. The men are wearing long trench coats in beige. Someone ushers them in to the kitchen and they start talking to me while I am cooking. They are asking me how come I am here. To which I reply that there is no simple answer. The men say that they are officials and have the right to know.

Pretty soon two other people turn up dressed smartly and with them are uniformed police. There is one of them who is the leader and he is from the Intelligence Services. They come into the kitchen and the tone gets more severe. I put some prawns in the pan. The leader says that security are going to restrain me. A policeman comes forward and handcuffs me. He attaches the other end of the handcuffs to a four poster bed. The woman comes with me bringing my pan and sits with me on the bed. They allow me to eat and I share some of my meal with the woman. I note that the prawns are not fully cooked. I ask her what her role in this. She is a police medical officer and may assess me.

I say to her that I need a piss. The policeman undoes my cuff from the bed and cuffs me to the female medical officer. She is now wearing a very blue dress which was hidden below her coat. I note that she will “stand out” in thew gents toilets. She is unfazed. We then (somehow) enter some gents toilets. It is busy and all the cubicles are taken. I am wearing a white t-shirt and around my middle, sarong style, is a white towel.

I go over to a long metal urinal and let the towel fall. I take a piss without using my hands with the woman stood next to me. It is a bit splashy. I then bend down to pick up the towel which I, with her assistance, wrap around my waist.

We go back to the room with the four poster bed and I am again attached. The woman suggests that I am going to be transferred. I will need some trousers. These are bought for me and I wear them.

The “intelligence” leader comes over and starts to ask me questions. His tone is combative and suspicious. He is asking me about various transfers of money and companies held in my name. I have absolutely no idea what he is talking about. It becomes clear that they are trying to frame me for some fraud so that they can take me back. The demeanour of the woman changes from sympathetic to cold.

They move over to one side of the room to chat in a huddle. I lift my hands up and when I bring them down the cuffs have vanished. Nobody notices. I can see some double swing doors, lab style, which lead into the back corridors of The Royal Institution.

I guess that if I can make it through the doors, I will be able to lose them in the labyrinthine corridors which I know well.

I start to move towards the doors and pass a side room. I glance in and the woman is now dressed in medical scrubs. She is operating on someone on a table. She sees me and raises the alarm. I make a dash for it and get through the double doors.

Several men start chasing me and someone is pushing a trolley down the corridor with chemicals on. I hurdle the trolley and head off down the corridor. The trolley stops, temporarily, my pursuers. They continue after me. One of them is wearing a full face shield and ventilator. I know there is no danger but he is afraid of the chemicals. I shout to him that there is no need and that it is safe.

I continue on and they chase me. We come to a dead end room. I am cornered. I see some blue foam pipe insulation several feet long. It is very soft and flexible. As they approach, I hit them on the head with it, in turn. It does no harm but appears to comedically stop them in their tracks.

The dream ends and I awake needing a piss.

  • I am about to cook ratatouille for dinner. Let’s hope I am not interrupted!! 😊