Tag: faith

O still small voice of calm

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

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Drop Thy still dews of quietness,
till all our strivings cease;
take from our souls the strain and stress,
and let our ordered lives confess
the beauty of Thy peace.

Breathe through the heats of our desire
Thy coolness and Thy balm;
let sense be dumb, let flesh retire;
speak through the earthquake, wind and fire,
O still small voice of calm!

John Greenleaf Whittier

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Over the last few days I have been on an off back with Narziß und Goldmund. A duality of aspects of me. I have according to my dreams been more often Narziß.

The journey into searching for me really began with St Francis and his famous prayer.

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Là où sont les ténèbres, que je mette la lumière.

Là où est la tristesse, que je mette la joie.

Ô Seigneur, que je ne cherche pas tant à être consolé qu’à consoler, à être compris qu’à comprendre, à être aimé qu’à aimer.

—

In which he expresses his heartfelt bodhisattva vows.

I have yet to find a more erudite expression for contact with one’s soul than “o still small voice of calm.”

Which reminds us that no matter what is transpiring there is something which persists and remains unsullied by all that drama. It is an injunction to detach and not to be such a drama queen caught and enthralled in the maelstrom of emotions. The words exhort one to achieve balance and perspective. It suggests being the calm in the storm. It hints that ambitious striving is not the be all and end all.

We could all of us do with a little more near silent reconnection with our essence. For so often the quiet whispering wisdom of our soul, our inner being, is drowned out in the hectic cacophony of modern existence. Our list of seemingly oh so important devoirs inundates us and our FOMO steers us like a tiny boat in a raging tempest.

We have often lost touch with our soul, our anchor.

Our inner candle which burns softly and which silently radiates can be missed in the loud relentless fake CGI of modern ways. It is not flashy and relentless. It not unnerving and unsettling. It is always there should we seek it.

We should all endeavour to be more attentive to the vital utterances of our still small voices of calm.

Spiritual Teachers and Gurus

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I’ll comment that on the internet there appear to be quite a number of these.

I do have a background in orthodox UK university based science education. Nevertheless because I do not have qualified teacher status I am not allowed to teach science unsupervised in UK state run high schools. I have previously set my self up as a private science teacher and there was some circumstantial evidence to suggest that I enhanced the achieved “A” level grades of my 1:1 students. They may have gotten more than that; 10-20 hours of 1:1 teaching in science might have had extra ancillary benefits. Only Ph.D. students have had that from me before. I was for a while paid to teach.

Pissing about on the internet this afternoon there are a number of opinions about what a “spiritual teacher” should and should not do. There are warnings about overly devotional guru-worship and falling into cult like behaviours. The first comment that I have about so called spiritual teaching is that it often appears wishy washy, hand waving and vague. There are many pushing their own agendas. Some sell books to advise on spiritual journeys and teachers; they include red flags. One of which might be having merchandise. There is a lot of self-promotion out there. The internet marketers have had an influence.

The second comment I have is that it is impossible to teach the spirit. It stands above and transcends human endeavour. To think you can teach the spirit is very up-your-own-arse ego. Spiritual teacher is an inaccurate and misleading term. A bad use of nomenclature.

“Hey man I am a very spiritual being…”

“Yeah right…”

There appears to be some backlash against Tibetan Buddhism and Vajrayana in particular.

My own view is that many are experiencing what might be termed sixth ray problems. Full of idealism and devotion they deify a teacher upon a pedestal and if he gets a collection plate out or waves his cock about, they are disappointed and crest fallen. Everyone likes to crucify people they have previously worshipped or deified. They don’t take responsibility for their own lack of discernment. Heaven forbid a teacher should smoke or drink! God does not do that though Jesus was a dab hand at the wedding bar with the wine {allegedly}.

The clergy have always abused power…Those drawn to it may have a predilection so to do. People who want to teach and be special may have very mixed motives. Monasticism encourages sexual repression and leads to deviance in some.

People also have prejudices…

In our time the plagues of immediacy, short attention span and having to be Insta-ready are extant. I don’t know if people can hack hard work and confrontation. There may no longer be any purpose in trying to help people towards liberation. The time may be entirely wrong. Humanity may need to fall deep into a quagmire, a doldrums of empty meaningless vacuous materiality.

The current blueprint for any would be teacher is to write a book, send it to Oprah, sell more books then set up a guru institute offering free ten day trials. {We are only taking credit card details so that your first subscription goes through easily. The subscription can be cancelled at any time during your ten day trial.}

My personal view is that the quality of much New Age guidance / literature out there is not high. If you look on YouTube it is even worse.

At the turn of the century there seemed to be a lot more New Age activity…It seems to be dying out. Physical new age, or as I call them hippie shops, are closing and disappearing from our streets. You can still buy crystals and tarot on line.

I know with a fair confidence that I am out of touch with the younger generations. They are alien to me as I perhaps am to them. I note fear. I note anxiety. I note fear of missing out. I don’t as yet see an upsurge in rebellion as to what my generation has inflicted.

Is there a need for “spiritual” teachers and gurus in our modern times?

Or do we just need more “nice” merchandise and antiseptic courses in Insta-ready locations?

Prodigal Son – Rastafari – Dream 10-01-22

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One from the vaults…

Here is one of my three dreaming segments from last night…

I am sat with others in a circle on small individual chairs. The feeling is like some kind of group discussion / therapy. We are discussing the prodigal son. Fi gets up and says that the parable is all about profligacy and sin. She maintains that the son in question is wasteful and does not respect material things. I say that the prodigal son sees the lack of value amongst the material things after his many incarnations. He develops humility and is no longer drawn to the earthly. Hence, he returns to the father, the source. Nevertheless, normal humanity sees only the materiality and deeply resents the prodigal for wasting that to which they are attached.

A little while later I am walking through the centre and bump into a Rastafarian who is younger than me and has bright shiny eyes. He asks if I am the dude who defended the prodigal son? Yes. He asks if I know the true meaning of Melchizedek. Yes. I explain to him that for quite a while I was drawn to Rastafarian mysticism. He asks me to lend him a cd. I go over to my pile. We are now somehow in Brixton. I explain to him that I used to live here a long while ago. I shuffle through my CDs and find Prodigal Son by Steel Pulse. Jah Rastafari.

I move around the centre and am broadly accepted by everyone there. Word has gotten around about me. I try to leave the centre and follow a winding spiral staircase which goes through various flats. I arrive at a back door. I open it and step outside. Now I am being chased by a young black guy. I stop and say, “hit me if you wish. I meant no harm.” He considers this for a moment and then says, “nah, just don’t do it again.” He walks off.

In the dream I know that this is advising me that although the familiar is tempting going back to old haunts does not really work.

Dream ends.

Clearly, I Am the Problem – Neurodivergence

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Over the years I have encountered many reactive and defensive behaviours in my interactions with people, mostly men. It seems to me that I do not do the ritual arse sniffing in the way they expect. Nor do I play the laddish itchy back game with enough ego stroking. The worse reactions are from men around 40. By the time they get to 60 they are past most of the BS. I do not piss up the wall of the urinal in the correct manner, apparently.

Clearly, given that I am the only common factor in all this, I am THE problem.

Chris Packham has been doing a TV series on neurodiversity in which he gets people who are diagnosed with various syndromes to do a short film to portray their experiences to their nearest and dearest. Most of the “weirdos” seem interesting to me and fairly high functioning. They are not boring.

The gist is that many feel/felt stress trying to fit and comply with the harsh societal expectations.

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No matter how hard they tried they did not fit well and the “diagnoses” gave them a handy explanation for why. It brought relief and sense-making.

My own experience working with the diagnosed is that the worse thing “normal” people can express towards them is impatience and huff. If people are impatient, it causes fear and upset. It leads to internalisation and makes any attempt at expression far worse and more dreaded. Impatience could be said to be an enemy of neurodiverse inclusion. Impatience is the start of a far from virtuous circle.

“You should not be like that. It ought to be easy. Huff!!”

This is the foundation stone of cruelty directed at the different and the stick used to marginalise them. May be they/we are not the problem. Maybe it is the self-righteous and self-important “normal” people. These people who are highly impatient and immediacy fixated.

I know by experimental measurement that I am not neurotypical. I have measured my brain waves using a fast Fourier transform electroencephalograph. Mine differ in that there is way lower neuronal activity which I can also further silence.

It would be impossible to convey my state of mind in a film. Because “normal” people cannot handle neuro-silence and their internal dialogue would start to chatter. If you cannot be quiet mentally you simply cannot get it.

Felix, the stray cat, is unwell. We think we are in the palliative care regime. When I go to feed him and Gandalf, he gets under my feet and rubs himself against my legs. I have to pick him up gently with my foot and “throw” him out of the way. He thinks this is an ace game. Because of my arthritis I am not steady on my legs and stopping and starting is difficult. One day I may stand on him in a painful way.

There is no way that I can explain to Felix that if he is hungry the best thing to do is to get out of my way. Food would arrive quicker and with no less certainty.

It is very difficult to convey how and in what way one might differ. It has to be experienced personally to be fully grasped. All the rest is extrapolation or intellectualisation.

Upcoming I am going to be looking to have my hips surgically replaced. Already I am thinking about how I might behave so as not to get a strange reaction from the surgeon. I will not fit his mental models and there will be a disconnect. Yet I have need of surgery.

How much will I have to act and conceal and hide so as not to be THE problem?

How much will I have to reel myself in?

Metatron – Dream Follow UP

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Until this morning I was not consciously aware of the name of the angel Metatron. No doubt I had encountered the name in my wide ranging studies over the years. But why is this being to the fore now? I had forgotten it.

Although there are a lot of references to angels in the occult and kabbalistic literature I have largely not focussed on them. Perhaps I have been put off by new agers asking angels for guidance. Some people imagine they talk with angels. I had assumed that angels, being lofty, were none of my business. They have more important things to do than helping mundane life balance for humans.

Various kabbala put Metatron at the crown of the tree of life befitting an archangel. “He” is on the central pillar in this depiction along with Michael, Gabriel and Sandalphon.

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The cube of Metraton comprises Da’at Chesed Gevurah Tiferet Hod Netzach and Yesod. It does not stretch down into the dense physical world of Malkuth. Containing Da-at or Da’ath it “touches” on God Immanent {Binah Chokhmah and Kether}. It contains the dreamer {Chesed Gevurah Tiferet } and the dreamed { Hod Netzach and Yesod (Malkuth)}. The dreamer and the dreamed.

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Clearly it has elements of the star of David – look at Merkaba above.

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The cube of Metatron spans the “worlds” of Briah and Yetzirah but not the active world of earth Assiah. Through the “thread” of Da’at or Daath it touches God. The idea portrayed here is to become at-one with God Immanent by following the central column. Manifestation is the lightning strike down, 1,2,3,4,5 etc, return to the Father is up the central pillar.

I have a translation of the Book of Enoch on the desk behind me. Sometimes Metatron is equated with the scribe Enoch.

That was pretty unexpected…

Do You Bat for the Same Team as Jesus and Buddha?

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In our times where once again brutality and coercion are to the fore, where people soap box to gain attention, where adamant dogmatic assertion tries to overcome and suppress considered debate, there are many who do not bat on their team. The gargantuan ego of ME swells and seeks airtime. Many a brutalist claims God is on their side and that divine will is aback their wholly “justified” actions. But at one level we know that this is bullshit.

I’ll postulate that the gobshite occurrence frequency per unit population has risen sharply in recent years and that the decibel count of their most welcome interventions is significantly enhanced. After all, where would we be without the benefit of their omniscience?

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I don’t recall either of these gentlemen advocating the use of 2000 pound bombs to blow poor, near defenceless people and their families, to smithereens. That is not the action of team Jesus or team Buddha. I don’t recall them ever mentioning doing “deals”, for mutual benefit. That is Mephisto talking. They never said love thy neighbour but only if he gives you a large wad of cash or rare-earth metals. Neither of these guys was conditional.

Viewed from more than one angle humanity and western humanity in particular is no longer bound by morals and decency. A “what is in it for me” mentality can be found on many sides. Genuine, as opposed to PR, altruism is rare. Sodom and Gomorrah would be seen as bastions of morality in our times. We have a president who allegedly knobs a porn star. There are many “leaders” whose legality is questionable. The corrupt get elected by the corruptible. There is a bit of a lads club.

We could re-write Matthew 5

Blessed are the loud gobshites, for they will talk over everyone and browbeat them into silence.

Blessed are the corrupt for they will slightly lower our tax burdens as a bribe for our collusion.

Blessed are the warmongers for they will enhance the values of our shares in the defence industries.

Blessed are the hypocrites for they will ban abortion but allow God like IVF. They have the power of life and death.

Blessed are the vengeful for they will stir our righteous ire to get our backing for their slaughter and death. We the just, shall prevail whatever the cost to the heathen subhuman hordes.

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I don’t think Buddha and Jesus have many on their pre-season roster, they cannot afford the salaries, the perks nor can they give big kudos and internet fame. They can’t offer backhanders and jobs for the sycophants, pals and donors. It is not their way.

Whose team are you on?