Tag: life

Trajectories Converging – Old Tools

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

In the previous post I mentioned that much of the on-line presence of Venture Capital firms is unappealing to me, well they don’t work at Jurassic Park and have no need to appeal to dinosaurs. I am clearly not the intended audience nor would I fit any suitability criteria. There are a lot of things these days for which I am not in the intended audience. The great thing about daytime TV is you get age appropriate adverts for Seniors Life Insurance, Cruises, Cremation Plans and Incontinence Pants. There are a range of stair lifts and comfy chairs which assist you to stand at a grand a pop.

When we moved here we inherited a number of tools, a power washer, a heavy duty strimmer and a sit on mower. Each year they need just that bit more maintenance. We have nearly finished our first garden spring clean. The strimmer is getting very vibration heavy and the power washer had a weld fail on the jet-lance. These lances are around 80 euros. It would make more sense to get a power washer which is not coal fired and buy a modern one. The strimmer needs a bit more oomph than battery. The question is, “if we are leaving can we justify €2-300 for a new power washer or not?” If we downsize we will not need such a beast. Maybe it is simpler to rent one for a day. No more capex. The strimmer we need. I will use it spring summer and autumn. I can probably eke one or two more mows out of the sit on mower before taking it to the repair shop. That way we avoid the bottleneck of repairs which happens every year when people turn on their mowers for the first time. Turnaround time in March is six weeks; in late April it is three. This works between mows.

The old tools are perhaps telling us that it is time to move on, to pastures new.  Like us the tools are no longer spring chickens…

I get the feeling that the trajectories are converging towards a simple downsize and not a lot else. I can’t see any open doors.

At the moment the hedge guy is doing our hedges. They are massive. When he has finished we should be good to go for estate agent photos. We can see if anyone wants to buy or if we have an albatross.

It does not matter overly what my opinions are, nor what I may know. Certainly there are a lot of smart people in science and there is no need for the likes of me. There is no need, no demand. I am surplus.

It does look like the trajectories are converging and finding a minimum on the decision potential energy hypersurface. The dream rate has dropped. The subject matter is less mystical but the theme of retreat centre – teaching remains (ish).

I am due my second hip operation early summer. This means that, should they be able to get the pin from my prior hip repair out, I should have an operational left hip by autumn. I can’t really see me doing anything other than bimbling about in the house and garden in the near term. We shall try wallpapering for the first time soon!!

The signs for moving on seem to be increasing in frequency…

Now all we need is some clue as to where..

  • I had to add bimbling to the Word Dictionary.

Chemistry Degree Course – Knowledge & Compliance Dream 14-03-2026

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Here is this morning’s dream

The dream opens in a Chemistry undergraduate teaching laboratory. Myself and a dozen or so others are getting back our Chemistry degree first year examination papers. The faculty, all younger than me by decades, are wearing white lab coats. The exam results are generally poor, the idea being to shock us into study. I get my paper back and look at the marking and comments. I can see a couple of proofs which I sketched out but did not finish because I knew the answer from that point. I get to the end and see that my mark is fifty one out of a hundred. Appended is the comment “one of the top marks for this exam”. Various of my peer group have done less well in the exam. I know that reason I have done better is because of my stint teaching “A” level Chemistry. I know that to get marks answers must correlate to the marks scheme provided only. There is no scope for even correct deviance. The people who have answered at “degree” level as it was two decades ago have been marked down and wrong. I understand that this is because the knowledge has changed a bit and that the acceptable answers have become more rigidly defined.

I go to the library and thumb through a modern edition of Atkins  “Physical Chemistry”. I note that it has changed with bizarre “knowledge” boxes and artificially highlighted “take homes”. I am then back in the teaching lab. I ask one of the faculty what text books we need. He hands me a PDF which is entitled “how to pass courses”. It is a guide on how best to give the expected answers to exam questions. He says that the details of how to get the text are on the course materials.

I ask him if the course might accept that it is not right in all cases, that it is a simplification. I explain that I once bought an achromatic lens which was marketed as truly achromatic. I explain that using Nd: YAG wavelengths of 1064 and 532 nm the focal points differed at even moderate laser intensity. The lens was achromatic only at very low laser fields. The manufacturer would not listen to my findings. The faculty member says that this is irrelevant. There are only the accepted answers to the course. He is mildly threatening. “If you don’t answer the questions as we set them and provide the accepted answers, you will not pass the course.” There is an element of coercion and exercise of power over. “If you do not comply you will not pass. You will fail. You will not get the accepted qualification”. He is unaware of my level of knowledge and adamant that he is right. I must comply with him (them) and what they deem right and complete.

In the dream I know that there is a problem. Because of course metrics courses and answers are designed in such a way that they can be measured. The guidebooks on how to pass are there to ensure that students get good grades and thence the course providers and examiners get good teaching feedback. I note that there is a circular delusion about improving standards and qualities. I note also that compliance is a problem when it comes to what knowledge is accepted and acceptable. In the dream I think they are kidding themselves about what they know and about knowledge. I suspect that they are wholly unwilling to accept this.

The dream ends…

How Things Pan Out…

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I think it fair to say we never really know how things are going to pan out. Sometimes hindsight and retrospect enable us to re-frame our narratives concerning how we got here, wherever here might be.

I can say that my “future” at the turn of the century looked markedly different to how it turned out and actually is now. I doubt even the greatest “seer” could have pictured what happened and how we live our lives now. The divergence of imagined future and subsequent actuality was large.

Aside from what goes on in the dreams, it is more straightforward to suggest an on-going likely trajectory now than it was back then. For a start the number of variables in life are reduced as is the dramatis personae.

Of course there could be an influx of new and new people but given the circles we move in, the likelihood is low.

We will have provisional answers on the major events of 2026 in a few months. One of these question marks we have a good indication on already.

I have been toying with an idea and that is about leaving the wheel of rebirth. In the hagiographies this is often represented as quasi-miraculous perhaps to generate aspiration. Maybe it is a whole lot simpler than that. Perhaps all one needs is to have seen a lot, experienced a lot and to be essentially {in its core meaning} used up. If one is used up and has zero residual ambition there is no driver to take on another body, another slab of meat. One becomes quiescent and has not the impulse to energise another biological form. This idea is perhaps more logical that others. The urge to be reborn ceases and it is no more complicated than that. No desire – no rebirth. No want – no rebirth. No greed – no rebirth.  The list goes on.

Maybe it is a kind of boredom that allows one to escape the wheel. I have been there, seen that, done that and now at last, I have the t-shirt. I have learned along the way.

What hindsight may also suggest is the role others have had in our lives. How we perceive that role may differ from how they do. We may learn a little about for what purpose we called them forth into our lives. We may have missed the point entirely. Too often we berate and blame instead of considering. The way modern life is lived, lacks patience. In our haste we miss so very much.

Maybe that is it, no more drama…

Siddartha said, “stop being such a drama queen and like a cart follows an ox you will find satisfaction, serenity and peace. In time, after you have discarded your pink feather boa and ludicrous overreactions, you will be free.”

I have an inkling that many obsessed with complexity and intellectual masturbation fail to see the buddha-field of simplicity…

You never know what life has in store for you, nor how things will pan out.

All you every really have is now…

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Chapter VII: The Venerable (Arhat)

90 There is no suffering for him who has finished his journey, and abandoned grief, who has freed himself on all sides, and thrown off all fetters.

91 They depart with their thoughts well-collected, they are not happy in their abode; like swans who have left their lake, they leave their house and home.

92 Men who have no riches, who live on recognised food, who have perceived void and unconditioned freedom (Nirvana), their path is difficult to understand, like that of birds in the air.

93 He whose appetites are stilled, who is not absorbed in enjoyment, who has perceived void and unconditioned freedom (Nirvana), his path is difficult to understand, like that of birds in the air.

94 The gods even envy him whose senses, like horses well broken in by the driver, have been subdued, who is free from pride, and free from appetites.

95 Such a one who does his duty is tolerant like the earth, like Indra’s bolt; he is like a lake without mud; no new births are in store for him.

96 His thought is quiet, quiet are his word and deed, when he has obtained freedom by true knowledge, when he has thus become a quiet man.

97 The man who is free from credulity, but knows the uncreated, who has cut all ties, removed all temptations, renounced all desires, he is the greatest of men.

98 In a hamlet or in a forest, in the deep water or on the dry land, wherever venerable persons (Arhanta) dwell, that place is delightful.

99 Forests are delightful; where the world finds no delight, there the passionless will find delight, for they look not for pleasures.

Dhammapada (Max Muller)

Year Beginnings

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The very first sentence of the above has informed many things for me in this life. It has been a kind of a mantram for me. When I used to do team and personal development courses I found that detailed and impeccable attention to the start impacted outcome. When the balance was right things flowed well. On the occasions that someone messed with this preparation the course “went wrong”. A simple thing unbalanced at the start unleashed a chaos. People failed to appreciate this…The idea was to start “tight” and then allow things to unfold and expand. A natural flow, a natural mystic.

This year has started with a dream of an end, a death, my death. It has pointed at ancient Tibetan anthropology and legend. Of mild interest yes. Of real current world applicability to me, probably not. I do not move in circles where anything might be propagated. It is like a hint from an otherworld. It is very unlikely that Macron and the Dalai Lama have been discussing my future. Life on the compound will continue much as is. No biggie…

The surgeon was satisfied with his handiwork and I am due a follow up appointment with a different surgeon in March to discuss the cut and splice of my other leg. I have some ongoing physiotherapy. Aside from that currently the number density of medical appointments has fallen to a low. A bit of relative peace and quiet looks on the cards.

We have started the DIY tasks around the house and I have an exhortation to walk to help improve the use of my “new” bionic hip.

Maybe today I’ll try to use the sit on mower. This was prohibitively painful before the operation. If that works then we can save on the gardening fees…

The dreaming rate seems to have fallen from one every three days…to much a more sparse occurrence.

During the night I had a question:

“Is dreaming unidirectional? If I dream of someone do they dream of me?”

If you look on the internet you can find stoner questions. They ask things like:

“What do teeth taste like? Do everyone’s teeth taste differently?”

“If you have a Ph.D., does every meeting you go to become a doctor’s appointment?”

Far out man…

All that highfalutin stuff looks to be a simple curiosity to have a brief gander at and then move on…

Karma Quotes

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Like gravity, karma is so basic we often don’t even notice it.

Sakyong Mipham

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I want revenge, but I don’t want to screw up my karma.

Susane Colasanti

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You cannot control the results, only your actions.

Allan Lokos

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How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.

Wayne W. Dyer

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Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.

Eckhart Tolle

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If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

Kurt Cobain

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Even chance meetings are the result of karma… Things in life are fated by our previous lives. That even in the smallest events there’s no such thing as coincidence.

Haruki Murakami

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Is Fate getting what you deserve, or deserving what you get?

Jodi Picoult                                

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Dear Karma, I really hate you right now, you made your point.

Ottilie Weber

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Strange things conspire when one tries to cheat fate.

Rick Riordan

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I guess one of the ways that karma works is that it finds out what you are most afraid of and then makes that happen eventually.

Cheech Marin

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Karma, when properly understood, is just the mechanics through which consciousness manifests.

Deepak Chopra

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There’s a natural law of karma that vindictive people, who go out of their way to hurt others, will end up broke and alone.

Sylvester Stallone

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To go from mortal to Buddha, you have to put an end to karma, nurture your awareness, and accept what life brings.

Bodhidharma

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I am what we call a ‘karma yogi’ in Sanskrit. A karma yogi is somebody who believes in data. I collect a lot of data.

N. R. Narayana Murthy

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Whether or not we believe in survival of consciousness after death, reincarnation, and karma, it has very serious implications for our behavior.

Stanislav Grof

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With some things, karma is good enough. Lessons come back in different ways, you know what I mean?

Big Narstie

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Being vegan just gives you such great karma.

Alicia Silverstone

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As long as karma exists, the world changes. There will always be karma to be taken care of.

Nina Hagen

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Marcus Aurelius Quotes

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The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

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If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

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Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

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You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

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Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.

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Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?

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When another blames you or hates you, or people voice similar criticisms, go to their souls, penetrate inside and see what sort of people they are. You will realize that there is no need to be racked with anxiety that they should hold any particular opinion about you.

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How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.

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The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are.

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You are a little soul carrying about a corpse, as Epictetus used to say.

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Do every act of your life as though it were the very last act of your life.

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What we do now echoes in eternity.

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Perfection of character is this: to live each day as if it were your last, without frenzy, without apathy, without pretence.

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Nothing happens to anybody which he is not fitted by nature to bear.

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Random – Buffalo Shaman – P&L Dream 28-10-2025

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Here is this morning’s dream had between 4 and 7:30. I am going to open a new dream theme “random” and apply it to dreams which seemingly have little to do with me although I may feature therein.

My anticipation is that the dreaming will fade going towards surgery. It will then lay relatively dormant. This anticipation could be wrong.

The dream opens in a large room, part of a town hall and near a registry office. Sat around the room on large “leather” bound sofas are a collection of jet black men. They are all very smartly if non-standardly dressed. They look a little like characters out of a 1930s movie by their vintage clothing choice. There is some jollity and mirth. They are all Nigerian and gathered for a Nigerian wedding. They are big blokes and I think that they would make a good pack of rugby forwards.

I am to marry an Irish woman Aishleen to one of them. She is in the next room waiting in a white wedding dress.

I look down to the inside of my right wrist. There is  a white, made of bone, emblem there. It is a skull of a buffalo with bead decorations on the horns. The emblem is mostly two dimensional and is attached to me, tattoo like as opposed to affixed. One of the Nigerians says that I am the Buffalo shaman and that I must practice the rite. I gather the men together holding hands in a circle. We sing and chant a little.

They notice in one corner of the room a brilliant white laboratory style mouse. I must sacrifice it. To do this I take a book from the bookshelf and use it to squash the mouse. They cheer me on to do this. I squash the mouse and it flattens then disappears. It is OK now for the marriage to go ahead.

The scene changes and I am walking around South London near a park. The road is on top of a slope behind some metal railings and the park is in the valley below. It is in Streatham. I follow the road and go into a club house of sorts there is a meeting. The local “council” are discussing closing public toilets as a cost saver. I say that this is stupid as the cost saving is tiny. The lead for the meeting says that the finances are dire. I asks him to show me. He comes back with a summary statement. I say that no, I want the entire profit and loss, P&L accounts to peruse. Give me all the detail. That is the best thing I can do for them to do a thorough look as an objective outsider. I say that I think they are losing the plot.

He comes back with a full accounts setting and a younger woman clerk. She is dark haired, ample and around 40. I recognise her. He says that she will help me. She asks me if I remember where I met her all those years ago. She says that it was a 4 AM in the morning walking along Turners Road when I was accustomed to doing my late night walks. She says that we went back to hers for some more drinks. For some reason non sexual we are close.

As I wake up I think “random”…

The dream ends.