Believing Without Concluding

January 21, 2025January 21, 2025 ~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

Luckily, I can believe something without coming to a conclusion about its veracity or accuracy or degree of right. I don’t have to win an argument or be right. I can even hold multiple views about the same situation without needing to pick a favourite and I don’t need to soap box, to be dogmatic or adamant. The dream this morning highlighted a fundamental difference in mentality between me and where I once worked. I was not ambitious nor obsessed with winning and league table position. My life did not hang on success or kudos. In many ways I did not belong there amongst. So, it worked out as it did. Dandy.

I think a safe “conclusion” is that the dreams in this blog are not normal or average. This makes me something of an outlier, an anomaly even. This “conclusion” is uncoloured and non-emotive. It is not significant.

I can see how some of the “data” in these dreams can be interpreted using various narratives, for example Toltec. In which case I belong to a certain predilection as a dreamer and not a stalker. I am a slightly different class of being. I think it fair to see a mild philosophical bent in my approach to life.

I can try on a working hypothesis, see if there is a partial fit. If there is I note it but have no need to conclude. Such and such is consistent with so and so. No Biggy. Next.

My own experience is, that at least in my case, the law of cause & effect or karma is applicable. I have a mind set of trying to address karma rather than going “phew got away with it, at least for now”. I’ll speculate that this again is not normal or average. To take responsibility for the actions AND consequences in life is not something most share. They fail to see the link of causality because that can be mightily inconvenient. People suffer from entitlement issues and believe, for example, that they are entitled to bomb the living daylights out of a people. They deserve to enact bloody revenge. It is justice no matter how disproportionate. They may be unable to calmly and cooly think it through. They make concentrated poverty adjacent to their opulent wealth and do not foresee consequences. Blinded by rage they do not solve, lashing out is not the most evolved thing to do.

In terms of liberation. One cannot achieve liberation whilst one has unresolved karma, it remains like a weight holding you back. The karma of stubbornness is rich and like most karma can have an ironic flavour. If you don’t believe in karma, it is currently your karma so to be. Karma is patient and one day it will make you understand. You may get knelt.

I know, I believe, that I understand the implications of much of the material in the blog. But I will never conclude that I am right about this and exclusively so. There could be many other explanations or none at all. I am just constructing a temporary view for my own amusement. Like a sand castle I can knock it down. I won’t be explicit and detailed. People like to argue the toss especially with others on the internet.

Not concluding is the antithesis of modern education methods. We are trained to give the {only} “right” answer, to justify it and make a conclusion or two. That way we can gain marks and pass exams; we can earn qualifications.

Students want to know, “tell me what the answer is”. Sometimes there are no answers within the common mundane context. We can ask Siri or Alexa. I suspect that humanity is getting ever lazier and may one day lose the ability to think for itself.

People might only believe if the norm decrees something right and correct. If consensus deems. But there can be different groups of consensuses who will fight for the dominance of being right.

I don’t think that conclusions and answers are evolutionary. They fixate, anchor and coral.

Sacrifice Petals in the Blue Books Opus

January 14, 2025 ~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

Selected extracts following on from the guidance in my dream.

I would point out also that even the black magician possesses these qualities, for they are the sine qua non of all magical art, both black and white; the black magician passes through the door of initiation as it opens twice for the first two initiations. He passes through on the strength of his will and his character accomplishments and because the group conscious aspect of the soul is active in him as in his brother seeking affiliation with the Great White Lodge. The love aspect is, however, lacking in the black magician. Forget not that all is energy and there is nothing else. The energy which is an aspect of the soul and which we call magnetic attraction (the group-building quality) he shares with the spiritual aspirant. He is essentially group conscious, and though his motives are separative, his methods are those of the group, and these he can get only from the soul.

You see again another reason why the first and second initiations are not regarded by the Lodge of Masters as major initiations. Only the third is so regarded, because at that initiation the entire personality life is flooded with energy coming from the Spiritual Triad, via the “sacrifice petals” of the will and purpose aspect of the soul. To this type of energy the black magician is not responsive. He can and does respond to the knowledge – most ancient and hardly won – stored up in the “knowledge petals” of the soul; he can appropriate and utilize the energy of attraction (erroneously called love by some students) stored up in the “love petals” of the soul, but he cannot respond to and use the energy of divine love, working out in the divine Plan which controls all knowledge and converts it into wisdom, and which actuates and clarifies the motive which brings loving magnetic attraction into action and which we call true group consciousness and group cohesion. It is at this point that the two ways – of darkness and of light – become widely divergent. Until the third initiation is taken, glamor may condition the attitude of those seeking to understand the life of a man upon the Path, and they may mistake the spurious for the real. The black magician leads a disciplined life, analogous to that of the spiritual aspirant; he practices purity for his own safeguarding and not in order that he may become a channel for the energy of light; he works with power (the power of magnetic attraction) with and in groups, but he does this for his own selfish ends and for the fulfilment of his own ambitious purposes. But at the third initiation there comes to the true spiritual initiate the revelation which is the reward of perseverance and purity rightly motivated – the revelation of the divine purpose, as the soul records it in terms of the hierarchical plan, though not yet in terms of the Monad. To this purpose and to the loving Will of God (to use a trite Christian phrase) the black brother cannot respond; his aims are different. You have here the true meaning of the oft-used and misunderstood phrase, “the parting of the ways.”

—————

For long, aspirants have noted and have been taught the effect of the will upon the astral, or emotional body. It is one of the primary and most elementary of the initial tensions, and is taught upon the Probationary Path. It leads to the purifying and the reorganizing of the entire psychic and emotional life, as the result of its destructive action. “If you will only think,” “if you will only use a little will,” and “if you will only remember that you have a mind,” we say to the children of the race and to beginners upon the Path of conscious Return. Little by little, then, the focus and the orientation shift out of the astral life and from the emotional level of consciousness into the mental, and consequently into the reflection of the world of purpose, found in the three worlds. When that stage has been somewhat developed, then there follows, upon the Path of Discipleship and of preparation for initiation, an effort to grasp and understand the higher aspects of this mental process, and the will aspect of the egoic life begins to influence the disciple. The “petals of sacrifice” unfold and the sacred sacrificial aspect of life is revealed in its beauty, purity, simplicity and in its revolutionizing quality.

Upon the Path of Initiation, the monadic will (of which the egoic will is the reflection and the individual self-will is the distortion) is gradually transmitted, via the antahkarana, direct to the man upon the physical plane. This produces the higher correspondence of those qualities so glibly spoken of by the well-trained but dense esotericist – transmutation and transformation. The result is the assimilation of the individual will and the egoic will into the purpose of the Monad which is the purpose undeviating and unalterable – of the One in Whom we live and move and have our being. This is the field of the true burning, for our “God is a consuming Fire.” This is the burning bush or the burning tree of life of Biblical symbolism. This highest of all the fires, this deeply spiritual and hitherto seldom recognized burning ground, has its effects summed up for us in the next phrase or sentence of Rule I.

Extracted from “The Rays and the Initiations”

Through the application of the Rod of Initiation, the work of separating the spiritual self from the higher self is furthered, and the imprisoned life gradually escapes, whilst the causal body is slowly absorbed or dissipated.

This has led to the expression, sometimes used in occult books, of “the cracking of the causal body” at each initiation, and to the idea of the inner central fire gradually breaking through and destroying the confining walls, and also of the destruction of the Temple of Solomon through the withdrawal of the Shekinah. All these phrases are symbolic wordings, and are attempts to convey to the mind of man fundamental truth from different angles.

By the time the fourth initiation has been reached, the work of destruction is accomplished, the solar angel returns to his own place, having performed his function, and the solar lives seek their point of emanation. The life within the form mounts up then in triumph to the bosom of its “Father in Heaven,” just as the life within the physical body at the moment of death seeks its source, the Ego, and this likewise in four stages:

By the withdrawal from the dense physical body.
By the withdrawal from the etheric body.
By a later vacating of the astral body.
A final leaving of the mental body.

Another way of emphasizing the same truth is to regard the egoic body as a center of force, a wheel of energy, or a lotus, and to picture it as a lotus with nine petals, hiding within these petals a central unit of three petals; these in their turn secrete the central life, or the “jewel in the lotus.” As evolution proceeds, these three circles of three petals gradually unfold, having a simultaneous effect on one or other of the central three. These three circles are called respectively the petals of Sacrifice, Love, and Knowledge. At initiation the Rod is applied to the petals in a scientific manner, and regulated according to ray and tendency. This brings about the opening of the central bud, the revelation of the jewel, the withdrawal of that jewel from the casket which has so long shielded it, and its transference to “the crown,” as it is occultly called, meaning its return to the Monad whence it came.

We must clearly recognize that all the above is but an attempt, through the limiting agency of words, to describe the method and the rites whereby spiritual liberation is finally achieved in this cycle; first, through the method of evolutionary unfoldment, or gradual development, and then in the final stages through the Rod of Initiation.

Extracted from “Initiation, Human and Solar”

c. Third Group of Petals – Sacrifice Petals:

The Petal of Knowledge for the mental plane; its unfoldment marks the period wherein the man consciously utilizes all that he has gained or is gaining under the law for the definite benefit of humanity.
Each of the groups of petals is distinguished by a predominant coloring; Knowledge, on the physical plane, with the coloring of the other two subsidiary; Love, on the astral plane, with the light of sacrifice weaker in tone than the other two, which practically show forth in equal brilliancy. On the mental plane, the light of sacrifice comes to its full display, and all that is seen is colored by that light.
The Petal of Love on the mental plane is unfolded through the conscious steady application of all the powers of the soul to the service of humanity with no thought of return nor any desire for reward for the immense sacrifice involved.
The Petal of Sacrifice for the mental plane: demonstrates as the predominant bias of the soul as seen in a series of many lives spent by the initiate prior to his final emancipation. He becomes in his sphere the “Great Sacrifice.”
This stage can be seen objectively to the eye of the clairvoyant as dual in effect:
- The mental unit becomes a radiant point of light; its four spirillae transmit force with intense rapidity.
- The three higher petals unfold, and the nine-petalled lotus is seen perfected.

The causal body is then (expressed in terms of fire) a blazing center of heat, radiating to its group warmth and vitality. Within the periphery of the egoic wheel can be seen the nine spokes rotating with intense rapidity and – after the third Initiation – becoming fourth dimensional, or the wheels “turn upon” themselves. (Bible. Ezekiel, 1:15:21.) In the midst forming a certain geometrical triangle (differing according to the ray of the Monad) can be seen three points of fire, or the permanent atoms and the mental unit, in all their glory; at the center can be seen a central blaze of glory growing in intensity as the three inner petals respond to the stimulation. When the fire of matter, or “fire by friction,” becomes sufficiently intense; when the fire of mind, or solar fire (which vitalizes the nine petals) becomes equally fierce, and when the electric spark at the innermost center blazes out and can be seen, the entire causal body becomes radioactive. Then the fires of substance (the vitality of the permanent atoms) escape from the atomic spheres, and add their quota to the great sphere in which they are contained; the fire of mind blends with its emanating source, and the central life escapes. This is the great liberation. The man, in terms of human endeavor, has achieved his goal. He has passed through the three Halls and in each has transferred that which he gained therein to the content of his consciousness; he has in ordered sequence developed and opened the petals of the lotus – first opening the lower three, which involves a process covering a vast period of time. Then the second series of petals are opened, during a period of time covering his participation intelligently in world affairs until he enters the spiritual kingdom at the first Initiation; and a final and briefer period wherein the three higher or inner ring of petals are developed and opened.

——

Let us now continue with our consideration of the petals and Initiation.

Each of the three circles of lotus petals is closely connected with one of the three Halls. This has been earlier referred to. Much of the work connected with the first tier of petals is part of the experience in the Hall of Ignorance. The act of organizing and preparing for unfoldment is the most important stage, and that with which man is the most concerned. The act of petal opening is of briefer duration, and is produced by the pouring in of solar heat or fire, and thus bringing about a fresh access of energy. This is produced in our earth scheme through the cooperation of the Mahachohan, of the Chohan of a man’s egoic group, and the particular Ego concerned.

The following tabulation may be found helpful:

Knowledge Petals – First circle
1. Organized in the Hall of Ignorance.
2. Guided by the force and energy of the Mahachohan.
3. The third group of solar Pitris affected.
Love Petals – Second circle
1. Organized in the Hall of Learning.
2. Guided by the force of the Bodhisattva.
3. The second group of solar Lords affected.
Will or Sacrifice Petals – Third circle
1. Organized in the Hall of Wisdom.
2. Guided by the force and energy of the Manu.
3. The first group of solar Angels affected.

At the stage which we are considering (that of the organization and unfoldment of the first tier of petals), the egoic influence felt at the beginning is but small, but when the three petals become sufficiently active and alive through the energy accumulated and stored up in the ego during the activities of the personal life, a form of initiation then takes place which is a reflection (on a lower plane) of the great manasic initiations. The energy in the outer circle of petals causes it to spring apart from the next circle, and to unfold. This threefold energy becomes interactive and a very definite stage is thus reached. This series of initiations is seldom recognized within the physical brain consciousness owing to the relatively inchoate stage of the bodies, and the unresponsiveness of the brain matter. Yet they are nevertheless initiations of a definite though less important character, and they involve primarily the display (within the personal life of the man) of an intelligent recognition of his group relationships on earth. This recognition is frequently selfish in character, as, for instance, that which the union worker displays, but it is indicative of group interplay.

—————–

Sacrifice involves even more than what has been already pointed out. It involves the following factors:

Knowledge of the purposes and intentions of the planetary Logos,
Realization of the particular and peculiar type of energy, and of the quality of his own Ray Lord,
Comprehension of the different groups of existences who are participating in planetary evolution and in solar manifestation,
A revelation as to certain cosmic enterprises in which our planetary Logos is acting as an intelligent cooperator. Thus is brought in the factor of extra-systemic force.

When all these and other factors are considered, it is evident that the energy set loose in sacrifice to these plans and intentions involves such a vast field of comprehending wisdom that it is not possible for the average man ever to sense it. It deals with the purposes and plans of the Silent Watchers over the three planes – the five, and the seven; it deals with the dynamic force of the great Destroying Angels on all the planes, who will eventually – through the manipulation of the three forms of energy – bring to an end all that is. These angels are a mysterious group of fohatic Lives Who sound forth the trumpets of destruction, and by means of the notes sounded produce that shattering which will set loose the energy of forms.

The second point is very briefly given. It concerns the innermost circle of petals, or that set of three petals, or those three streams of whirling energy, which immediately surround the “jewel in the lotus.” Each of these three petals is related to one of the three circles, and is organized as each of the three circles is unfolded. They form, therefore, a synthesis of knowledge, love or sacrifice, and are closely connected through the type of force flowing through them with one of the three higher centers of the planetary Logos of a man’s particular ray. This central unit of threefold force is dealt with in a specific manner at initiation.

At the first, the second, and the third Initiations, one of the three petals opens up, permitting an ever freer display of the central electric point. At the fourth Initiation, the jewel (being completely revealed) through its blazing light, its intense radiatory heat, and its terrific outflow of force, produces the disintegration of the surrounding form, the shattering of the causal body, the destruction of the Temple of Solomon, and the dissolution of the lotus flower. The work of the Initiator in this connection is very interesting. Through the medium of the Rod of Initiation and of certain Words of Power, He brings about results of a coordinating, transmuting and liberating nature.

Through the action of the Rod as wielded at the first two Initiations, the two outer circles unfold, the energy of the two is set free and the two sets of force as embodied in the six petals are coordinated and become interactive. This stage of petal adjustment succeeds upon that called earlier “unfoldment” and has to do with the simultaneous action of the two tiers of petals. The interplay between the two circles is completed, and the circulation of the force currents perfected. According to a man’s ray and subray, so is the Rod applied to what might be termed the “key” petal. This of course differs according to the unit of force involved. It is of interest to note here that, as the petal substance is deva substance and as the energy of the petals is the energy of certain manasadevas (one of the three higher orders of Agnishvattas) the initiate is over-shadowed (the word is not entirely satisfactory in explaining the type of deva service here necessitated, but it must suffice) by a great deva who represents the equilibrium of substantial vibration which is brought about by the efforts of the initiate, aided by the adepts who present him, and who each represent one of the two polarities of force. This is temporarily stabilized by the Initiator. These three factors,

The representing deva,
The two adepts,
The initiator,

form, for a brief second, a triangle of force with the initiate at the center. Through them circulates the terrific power, the “fire from Heaven,” which is brought down from the higher triad through the agency of the electrical rod.

———-

A similar process takes place when the second circle of petals is organized and ready for unfoldment. This time the World Teacher, the Master and the Ego concerned are cooperating, for these smaller initiations deal with the love nature, with astral or emotional organization, and with the recognition (by the man in his personal life) of some form of unselfish love, and of a love for some object, person or ideal which leads to altruistic endeavor, and to the negation of the lower self.

This brings us to the third group of petals or to the unfolding of the will or sacrifice petals, based on intelligent purpose and pure love. The force in this group calls in a different factor, that of the Manu, as well as the force of the Bodhisattva, and the desired effect is produced through the full cooperation of the fully awakened Ego, aided by his own Master (if he is evolving in a cycle wherein hierarchical effort for humanity takes the form it does in this present one), and the Manu. Eventually (after the second Initiation) the Lord of the World comes in as a factor, – the Lord of world power, fully expressing itself in love.

Speaking generally, therefore, it might be stated that egoic groups in whom the knowledge petals are being organized and unfolded come under the primary influence of the Mahachohan; those in whom the love aspect, or the second circle of petals, is opening come under the primary influence of the Bodhisattva, with the knowledge unfoldment paralleling the work; whilst those in whom the third tier is being opened come under the energy direction of the Manu, with the two other types of force coordinated. It will be apparent to the careful reader that in this fact lies hid the secret of why the Mahachohan holds office longer than either of His two Brothers, holding it as He does for an entire world period. The key to these cycles lies hid in the following thoughts: the Bodhisattva and the Manu change more frequently and pass on to other work owing to the fact that They each embody one type of triple force, whereas the Mahachohan is the focal point for five types of energy, each in its turn triple in nature.

In each case of petal unfoldment, certain types of force are generated, dealt with, assimilated, and used, at first unconsciously and finally with full intelligence.

——-

There is no need to enlarge further on this subject. I would like to enumerate the lines of alignment of the third group which eventually transcends the other two, and effects the final illumination and liberation of the man.

Group III.

The sacrifice Petals.
The sacrifice petals in the two outer groups.
The three major centers in each of the three planes of the three worlds, producing thus absorption of the lower four centers on each plane.
The head center, or the thousand-petalled lotus.
The pineal gland, producing the vivification and irradiation of the entire lower nature.

These three groups of forces in man, when synthesized, produce eventually that perfect coordination and adaptation to all conditions, forms and circumstances which eventuate in the escape of the liberated vital spark. This is technically accomplished when the “bud” opens, and it becomes possible for the Hierophant at initiation to liberate the energy of the Monad, and to direct that energy (through the agency of the Rod) so that eventually it circulates free and untrammeled through every part of the lower threefold manifestation. As it circulates, it destroys by burning, for it arouses the kundalini aspect perfectly by the time the fifth Initiation is taken. The destroyer aspect becomes dominated, and the form is “burnt upon the altar.”

These ideas can also be studied in their larger aspect; a clue to the mystery of cosmic evil may be found in the difference existing between the sacred and non-sacred planets, and in the purpose and place, hitherto unrecognized, of the lives of the informing existences of the many planets and planetoids in the solar system. Some are purely mahatic or of the third Aspect, dominated by the devas. Others (of which the sacred planets are examples) are controlled by the second Aspect, and that second aspect will work through unconquerably into manifestation. A few, like our Earth planet, are battlegrounds, and the two Aspects are in collision, with the indication of the eventual triumph of the “white” magic.

——–

The Sacrifice Petals

The energies or forces flowing through, and thus producing activity in the inner tier of petals, the Sacrifice Petals, are again similar in nature to those already enumerated, plus a definite stimulation of power in two directions.

One stimulating influence comes from the Will Aspect of the Monad, and thus (through transmission) from the first Aspect of the planetary Logos, and the other emanates from the “Sacred Bud which veils the Jewel.” This is a particularly strong vibration because, when the inner circle is unfolded, the jewel is revealed, and the three “veils” or “sacred petals” open successively when the three tiers unfold.

It is thus apparent what numerous energizing agencies are responsible for the “motion,” occultly understood, of the egoic lotus. There is the inherent life of the atomic units forming each petal, and the circulatory life of the petal itself, regarding it as an individual unit. There is likewise the life of the circle of three petals and to this we must add the unified activity of the outer three circles, or the blending of knowledge forces absorbed from the personal self, of love forces which are the natural energies of the solar Angel, and of sacrifice forces pouring in from the Monad. Thus we have a marvelous aggregate of streams of energies, all representing interior and still greater (because cosmic) energies.

Finally, we have the dynamic force of the “Jewel” at the Heart, which is itself the focal point for the life of the planetary Logos, and through the planetary Logos of all the other Logoi.

Thus the potentialities latent in the incarnating jiva are stupendous, and he can become as God, provided he submits to the evolutionary process, and does not “refrain from being stretched upon the wheel.” Thus the expansions of consciousness, which will admit an individual point of spiritual life into the councils, and the Wisdom of the Deity, are no idle promise but are guaranteed by the very constitution of the vehicle employed, and the place in the scheme of the “developing Point,” as the Ego is sometimes called. Naught in time and space can hinder, for every form being simply an expression of energized life, tends to serve every other form. Stimulation of some kind, the tendency to increase the vibration of contacting streams of energy, the accentuation of the activity of each centralized point as it contacts other points in the general heightening of the vibration through the interplay of those forces, all this sweeps the entire system on to its consummation, and to the revelation of the “glory which shall some day be revealed.” (Bible. I. Peter, 5:1.) All these forces form the aggregate of what is called “fohatic life.” As the system, or the body of the Logos, is carried forward through the energy in all its parts, so is each infinitesimal part speeded on to its similar individual glorification. The many which form the All, and the units which constitute the One, cannot be differentiated as the consummation is achieved. They are merged, and lost in the general “beatific light,” as it is sometimes called. We can then extend the concept somewhat further, and realize the cosmic interplay which is likewise being carried forward. We can picture the cosmic stimulation and intensification which proceeds as constellations form the units in the Whole instead of planets or human atoms. Whole suns with their allied systems in their immensity play the part of atoms. Thus some idea may be gained of the unified purpose underlying the turning of the great Wheel of the cosmic Heaven, and the working through of the life purposes of those stupendous Existences Who hold a position in the cosmic Hierarchy similar to that of the “ONE ABOUT WHOM NAUGHT MAY BE SAID.”

It is not possible to give students an adequate idea of the beauty of the egoic lotus when it has reached the stage of complete unfoldment. The radiance of its color is not here referred to, but the brilliancy of the fires, and the rapid scintillation of the ceaselessly moving streams and points of energy. Each petal pulsates with quivering fire “points,” and each tier of petals vibrates with life, whilst at the center glows the Jewel, raying forth streams of energy from the center to the periphery of the outermost circle.

The fires of living energy circulate around each individual petal and the method of interweaving and the circulation of the fires is (as may be well realized) sevenfold in nature according to the sevenfold nature of the Logos involved. Each circle of petals becomes, as evolution proceeds, likewise active, and revolves around the central Jewel, so that we have, not only the activity of the petals, not only the activity of the living points or the deva lives within the petal circumference, but likewise the unified activity of each tier of the threefold lotus. At a specific stage in evolution, prior to the opening of the central veiling bud, the three tiers of petals, considered as a unit, begin to revolve, so that the entire lotus appears to be in motion. At the final stages the central circle of petals opens, revealing that which is hid, and revolves around the Jewel, only in a contrary direction to the rapidly circulating outer lotus. The reason may not here be revealed for it is hid in the nature of the electric Fire of Spirit itself.

Extracted from “A Treatise on Cosmic Fire”

Visions or Visual Hallucinations?

October 18, 2024October 18, 2024 ~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

If I understand it correctly the phenomena of visions plays a role in many religions. Things can be revealed by beings such as angels. Those prone to visions have been prone contextually to dreaming too.

My general understanding is that angels are rare and play only a very important pivotal role in the religious context. They do not appear to common or garden people despite what many a new age book suggests. Helping you find the man of your dreams is probably not high on their to do list.

{I am generalising widely}.

Yet seeing something that others do not is classed as a hallucination, which can be a symptom of psychosis. Many of the figures in religious history might be diagnosed as having an episode of psychosis today. They could be locked up and given anti-psychotic medicine.

In indigenous cultures going on a “Vision Quest” might be seen as a rite of passage. Isolated from the day to day and the tribe an individual seeks a vision of the future and his purpose. Visions can be had in caves, on high mountains. Usually, one has to step away from the mundane noise of life, maybe ease off the food.

I have participated in shamanic drumming and gone on a mini-vision quest. I can also use £250,000 femtosecond pulsed optical parametric amplifiers. It is possible that I am unique in this, there may be others. In non-linear optics world it is probably best not to talk about shamanic vision quests it could have a detrimental impact on promotion and employment prospects. So, many may have kept schtum like me.

It could be argued that I have relatively pure Welsh indigenous blood from the matrilinear line based in deepest darkest Snowdonia. As an indigenous it is not so weird for me to do indigenous things.

Anyway, I have had a number of visions over the years including when I lived in Brixton and was an academic. Needless to say, I told no colleagues nor a GP. This primarily because I always knew that I was having a vision/hallucination and was aware of my physical plane surroundings in day-to-day world at the same time. They did not overly impinge, nor were any of them frightening. If you speak to a medic about this kind of thing you could be opening a Pandora’s box and be exposed to pet theories and the latest pharma sponsored medication.

My working hypothesis concerning many of these visions is that most fall in the category of past-life recall. Some might think me whacko or that I have delusions of grandeur. People can have very closed minds.

Back in the mid seventies I used to travel by airplane from Zambia to school in Gloucestershire. There were six flights a year and by the age of 13, in the 1970s, I had 150,000 air miles. I am guilty about my childhood carbon footprint 😉. On occasion there would be a fuel stop at Malta. Each time I landed there I had a massive déjà-vu. Without knowing why, I knew that I had been there before.

This morning around 6 AM I was not sleeping so I started to do a meditation. For whatever reason, I was having difficulty and I started to have a relaxed enjoyable vision of myself in a cowled cloak and chain mail. The setting of the vision was around 800 years ago. I was aware of the vision and the bedroom. I could hear the wife breathing.

Why this is happening now I don’t know. It did point me back to a vision I had in 2003.

The vision last night may refer to “the knights of Malta”, a term used in Brittany for both Templars and the Hospitaliers, Ordre de Saint-Jean de Jérusalem.

I have had many visions associated with this putative life, a French one.

Nearby there is a hospitalier commanderie whose records do not go back past 1313 when the goods of the Templars were ceded to them.

There was also relatively nearby a Templar commanderie and the relics of a small church. The look of which is not far from one I saw in another vision.

What would you do?

Would you tell your general practice GP doctor?

Would you tell your line manager at work?

Would you imagine yourself off your trolley?

Or would you think that the sanest hypothesis was past life recall?

I am quite looking forward to seeing what may or may not happen over the next day or so…

Life Divergences and the Wrong End of the Stick

October 13, 2024October 14, 2024 ~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

I have recently had a several months stint on LinkedIn. Because I am an “old fart” I went to university way back when it was much less common in the UK. My class size was of the order of 30. It was hard to get in. There was an in-department tea / snack room which served buttered toast. After a 9 AM chemistry lecture you could get coffee and toast and marmalade. We knew each other quite well and there was a lot of fraternisation between staff and students. Back then there was a lot of booze. It would be frowned upon today, Jurassic behaviours.

It is safe to conclude that when taking the integral of life time earnings of most of my university peer group, based on their LinkedIn profiles, I am at the bottom of the earnings table and I am not going to earn any more. I was the baby of the class being born end of August, but somehow also a social lynch pin. 4 out of 30 came from my school. Most of my peers have been successful whereas my “career” ended in 2007. I did some small “A” level science tutoring for a number of years. I retired around five years ago. Often it is the years 40-65 when people earn the most. I did not.

It could be said that I am a failure and that I failed.

I worked for over a decade as an academic at a top London university. Many of that peer group and people whom I once taught have had and are having way more success than me. There are big cheeses.

There are a number of possible explanations for why I quit at the age of 42. They include burn out, the so-called INFJ door slam, some mental health problems, or the renunciation of a way of life. I was very unhappy that my colleagues were talking about getting rid of people to improve the REF rating. Nice! I figured I could handle going better than others. The decision was quick and nobody anticipated it. I don’t recall having any discussions. I did not have a leaving party because I hate that kind of thing. I handed over my responsibilities and just left. Not many, very few, said goodbye. I thought at the time that it was handled poorly. British people can be awkward and scientists are not renowned for their interpersonal skills. I don’t believe anyone from there addressed the subject with me, certainly not meaningfully.

I was not anticipating what was to unfold in terms of meditations and chanting. My life certainly diverged from where it had been heading. There were consequences which I had not anticipated in terms of my employability.

If you meditate at least once daily for two decades you are likely to differ markedly in terms of psyche and mind from those who do not. If you don’t see someone for over a decade they may try to shoehorn their perception of you into their old version. They may be unable to conceive of what you are like now. They will not know “the point before mind”.

I have no ambition, no drive, no goals, no targets. I am not overly fussed about what happens to me. I am not interested in kudos. There is no driver for me to invent. I doubt that anything I might write is sellable, certainly not profitable. So, there is no point in me trying to publish for money. In one sense I am waiting until my time is up. The likelihood is that my time will be used gardening, doing DIY, strolling and a bit of blogging here and there. I will be a carer from time to time.

I am out of touch with the modern way of life. I have not made a social ‘phone call in near a decade. I have near zero social email use. Just as I am out of touch with modern life, the outer world is out of touch with me. Only a few people know any of my email addresses and only one person has my ‘phone number. The hospital has it too.

Life is uncomplicated by connectivity.

When you watch the news, it is often a loner who is not popular who turns out to be the perpetrator of some killing or other. People are prejudiced about people like me. They may even pity me and feel sad. That is getting the wrong end of the stick by a country mile. People transfer their obsession with social contact onto me. I am quite happy not to have any. I can go days without speaking to anyone.

I certainly did not add a great deal to UK plc. I once co-founded a company which put dinner on the table for about fifty households. In principle I could have done more. But I did not.

It could be said that I was perhaps fated to do a “Reggie Perrin” only I never came back to work.

I do not know what fate has in store for me, if anything. It is very unlikely to have a wider impact or significance. This could be argued to be a waste. Or simply it is what it is.

Being a four cancer couple already sets us apart statistically. Colon cancer and basal cell carcinomas for me, myeloma and breast for her. She start posts operative radiotherapy next week. I get a “chimney sweep” colonoscopy next year. I am on prostate cancer watch because of slightly elevated PSA. No signs of any lesions in the MRI.

It is pretty clear what the next month is about. The important bit, that is.

I speculate that were I to meet any of the people from my peer groupings it would take quite a while for the penny to drop concerning just how far my life and beingness has diverged from theirs. And they would almost certainly get entirely the wrong end of the stick in any attempt at communication beyond the basic CV style “life fact” exchange. I’ll wager I could understand their lives better than they could understand mine. I came from “there”. I do not think that they could get it nor do I believe that I could convey. They would have to experience over a fair time interval to even begin.

I could be wrong…

I am divergent…

National Karma and Impunity

October 12, 2024October 12, 2024 ~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

There are some people, some nations, who believe they can do whatever they like, be barbaric for example and feel thoroughly justified in their right to slaughter. They imagine quasi-divine impunity and do not subscribe to the notion of cause and effect or karma.

The karma of empire is decay and loss of significance. History shows time and again that no empire lasts forever and towards the end corruption and decadence arrive for the wind-up party.

This afternoon I watched a news programme in which it was mooted that the economies of China and India would in time be larger than the USA. Things change, nothing lasts forever. The technological revolution in China has soared after the so-called cultural revolution of Mao Zedong. The USA has behaved like a bullying teenager for a long time now. It has funded the destruction of Gaza and now Lebanon too. The United Nations has never looked so toothless as it does today.

The word is a scary place right now. I used to have a lot of respect for USA, but now with things like Iraq and an attempted coup d’état by mob a few years back, respect wanes. My foray into Twitter has done little to improve my opinion. There are some nut-jobs out there. In a few short weeks there will be an election. Some Americans are suggesting “Kamunism” that Harris is left wing! Really? She is a tory to my eyes.

Americans it seems know very little about socialism or communism.

There is a real prospect of the nasty orange sociopath man getting back into power and sending cultural evolution backwards in time. Trump is a part of national karma. You get the leaders you need/deserve.

The rise of nationalism and me-first isolationism is swift. Brexit being an example of a withdrawal from internationalism of the saddest and most unnecessary kind. Everything has some kind of consequence. No divorce is 100% amicable, to expect a miracle is misguided. Yet some still yearn for the fairy godmother.

France very nearly had a right-wing nationalist government.

Wasn’t the 20s and 30s last century when the nationalists grew in popularity? Are we doing Groundhog Day? Zieg Heil!

I saw a post suggesting that the Confederate States could leave the union, USA, and still compete effectively globally as a new country on the world stage.

That which takes ages to put together can be rent asunder in a fit of pique.

The level of division in the USA is very high it was preceded by the remainer-brexiteer name calling which divided families in the UK.

It does not look to me that people are learning to grow up and live together. Sandpit politics dominates.

There is a significant chance that the USA could implode and who is going to repay the ginormous national debt of the biggest economy if it does? How will Moody’s, Standard and Poor, and Fitch rate them.

Overriding, rewriting International Law to suit in order to bomb the fuck out of another country is an example set by the land of the free and home of the brave. You don’t have to be very brave in a F35 equipped with the latest electronic countermeasures. They set the precedent. Don’t worry they are only Muslims, kill them. Get Saddam. Take your shots and lie down dead.

In the fullness of time apparent impunity fades. Unexpected consequences start to arrive. USA has been caught sleeping twice.

I wonder what drama remains in geo-politics this year.

We have had five years of stuff happening which we did not expect. Covid, Ukraine, Gaza. What else is coming in?

Where we live is a pretty safe if there is a major escalation. We are not close to a likely target in a nuclear war. That I am evening thinking that is telling.

I have yet to hear of any situation in which mass death and destruction is the best answer. It seems an all too human default…

Humanity fails to learn by mistake…

Homo Sapiens is an arrogant misnomer…

Bern – 90GHz—UBS Dream 02-07-2021

July 18, 2024 ~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

I woke up this morning at 6AM and was pretty sure that I would not go back to sleep. I did and had this dream. When I tried to wake up my right eye was difficult to open it been sealed with sleep. As an aside since I stopped smoking, I have had much more gummy eyes with loads of sleep. Here is the dream.

I am in a vast laboratory. It is filled with optical benches upon which are optical components and lasers. I know this laboratory to be in Bern Switzerland. Unusually for this kind of laboratory one can see out of the windows and to the town below. W is excited he has received a parcel and is busy unwrapping it. It is a new slim, top of the range, Tektronix digital storage oscilloscope. It has all of the functions of the bulkier models but is slimmed down. I say to W that I can help him understand how to use it because all of the experiments at the lab of S used one of these. All we need first is a square wave waveform generator so that we can have a play. Ben C says that he thinks there is one in the store. I go with him to the store and there is a pile of instrumentation. I see one with the name GR on it and note that it is odd that it should be here in Bern. BC finds a square wave generator and hands it to me. He says that it starts at 90GHz. I comment that it might be a bit too high frequency for the oscilloscope. He says that probably not, the scope may not capture all of the waveform but should be Ok for us to play with. I go over to W.

Next, we are back in the flat. It is full of youngish men who all work at the laboratory. We are all sleeping in one bed. It is somehow on a veranda outside the house. I wake up and decide to go shopping. I look across the valley where this is a night club called Bodhisattva. We all sometimes go there. I think that it will be nice to look at Migros again. As I go into the shop there is a queue for baskets, and I am behind an old Swiss man. He unpacks the baskets and hands me one. I go into the store and am at the fruit counter. It is immaculately laid out with very high-quality produce from around the world. It is even better than I remembered it. I get some groceries and take them back to the flat. Where I put them in a bag in the pantry. I explain to W that it is very nice to see high quality Swiss produce as things here are not so consistent.

In the dream I have paid with a UK credit card but to my surprise my UBS bank card is also in my wallet.

We are back in the laboratory, and I know that I have a job there. It has been easy to set up because my Swiss Bank account at UBS is still active {in reality this is not the case}. We play with the oscilloscope for a while.

Next, I am back in the flat asleep in the big bed with a whole bunch of other people. The wife is there next to me. I am on the extreme edge of the bed, and she is nestled in my left arm. I kiss her on the brow, and everybody wakes up. I ask what time it is. Close to midday. I comment that is late. Not if you were up drinking and smoking {implied cannabis}.

I had better rush to get to the bank before it closes. I rush of down hill concerned that I will fall because of my left hip. I am a bit awkward running down the hill. I need to get to the bank to ask them for a new PIN number for my bank card. I know that all I have to do is ask because they will recognise me. I could ask in English or German or even French. As I am running down the hill, I rehearse what words I would need first in Hoch Deutsch and second in French. In my mind I know that the language I will choose depends upon who I meet at the bank counter.

Dream ends.