Seeing Things Differently

Recently I was talking with someone who suggested that an in-patient group oriented intensive physiotherapy regime postoperative for hip arthroplasty was a good idea / French practice. He was, to understate, more extroverted than I. The idea of being around loads of people “helping” me to recuperate via conviviality just does not work for me. It would be close to torture, feeling unwell and having to interact in a foreign language on a regular basis, with others. No thanks.

This sounds like a showstopper to me. In my mentality I would delay or not proceed at all.

Maybe I am ungrateful or maybe I know myself well.

It is clear in this simple example how we see things differently.

“Jack Sprat he ate no fat; his wife she ate no lean.”

What works for one person does not work for others. According to all the common metrics I am socially isolated. Some might imagine that I need help. Poor Alan.

They may even imagine that they know what is best for me. Because as every newspaper vendor knows it is always the antisocial loner, who is not well liked, that becomes the heinous murderer. Helping the socially excluded is an anti-murder prophylactic measure, which makes sound societal sense.

Unlike most people I don’t care what the ‘phone companies do with my data, because I don’t generate any. I am not in any target marketing demographic. Daytime TV however is full of adverts aimed at the likes of me. I’ll get my SAGA loyalty card soon, to use until my pre-paid cremation plan kicks in.

The problem with seeing things differently is that it is nigh on impossible to explain or otherwise convey that difference to others, specifically the scale thereof.

I look relatively normal. I can speak “normal” for a short while. But I know from experience that the way I assimilate the world differs radically from others. I am not prone to influencers, whatever they are. I do not swallow hook line and sinker what I might read in the news of whichever flavour / prejudice. As an outsider, I need help to rejoin the fold, the group lunacy. Bless…

Most people suffer from worry and catastrophising. I can have brutal clarity without dramatic catastrophic thinking. I can envision futures and remain calm.

It is impossible to communicate the lack of ambition / goal to anyone who is beholden to theirs. I am happy to make unilateral decisions based on available information even when I know that information is incomplete.

Once you have attained impermanence, you change as does your orientation towards life.

“This too, shall pass”, is more than just a saying.

People in general have a need to “do” something. There is a need of immediacy. A desire, an urge, to get things “sorted”. I have learned that some things simply cannot be sorted. Some have to be endured. Some need let go of. Some need to calm in emotional temperature and thence to fade away.

It is economical not to intrude, to inflict oneself upon or otherwise interfere in the lives of others. This is a form of harmlessness.

A passive approach of response when needed tends to calm. Though it can also infuriate, humans being as they are.

It is impossible to please everyone.

I see apertures in the web of life, during which things may be possible. When I see them closing, I know that the possibility and probability of things happening drops. Until finally what once might have been possible, no longer is.

One of the aspects of impermanence is the notion of timeliness. Timeliness has a time limit. If things do not occur when they may or might, they do not and cannot. The moment has passed. The “permanent” possibility or opportunity is gone.

Impermanence teaches that complacency is unwise. It is a non-nihilistic implication which many fail to see. There is only a discrete aperture in spacetime for things to occur…

You have only my word for it, that I imagine that I see things differently from others…

I could be talking BS…

You decide…..

Messaging Assumption and Miscommunication

Postulate.

The human ability to get entirely the wrong of the stick is close to infinite.

Herein lies the mystery of perception, bias and multiple failures in communication both as a purveyor and acceptor. People may not be aware that they are, whether consciously or not, sending messages which others are receiving and perceiving and assimilating.

I suspect that because I am largely silent and can be not expressive, people tend to imagine that I am judging and being critical. They may expect some verbal response / discussion / mutual bullshitting when talking and when none is forthcoming, they can get unnerved. The feedback mechanism is missing. They expect chit-chat. In the absence they can confer multiple meanings which simply are not there.

People can read all sorts of shit into things. They may imagine I am sending a message when I am not. People might read this blog and imagine that I am messaging them directly.

The likelihood of miscommunication in the context of different cultures and frames of refence is enhanced. People may imagine that their customs are transferable. The French attitude of laissez-faire can be interpreted as complete indifference, fence sitting and not giving a shit, disinterest. It can be read, “that person can’t be arsed, sod ’em, they are not serious. Let’s move on to someone who has a point of view or opinion.”

In trying not to impinge a different message can be received. “Waste of time.”

I’ll assume with a high confidence integral that many people have made hugely erroneous assumptions over the years as to my motivations, what I am thinking and where I am coming from. This {my} assumption is based upon my interpretations of their behaviours and could be invalid. There may be transference of their ways of thinking and prejudices onto me.

There are certain types of people who like to argue the toss and “win” arguments / debates. They like to “score” points.

If someone like this expresses a point of view and one does not counter it, remaining silent even. They can assume agreement and/or victory. The lucky recipient of opinion may disagree totally but cannot be arsed to verbalise. Agreement can be assumed and the illusion of being right /accurate taken from the non-intervention.

Many introverts cannot be bothered to do the thinking for gobby extroverts. It is not important to them nor is share of air time or limelight kudos. The introverts can be disinterested in interaction.

I am reasonably confident that I have by accident, thrown a spanner into the works, with my interactions with the French medical profession. I have not behaved in the manner to which they are accustomed and they have not had the skill or experience to handle it. There has a result been extensive miscommunication and they have made assumptions about what might transpire, what I understand and how I perceive them. It can be very hierarchical. Most medics have not interacted as I have. My need to chat and discuss is vanishingly small when viewed from the angle of French customs. If I want to find out my first port of call is research which I will do thoroughly.

Once miscommunication has gone beyond a certain point the situation becomes very difficult if not impossible to salvage. This is because face and pride have now come into play and dominate, often unilaterally, subsequent interpersonal dynamics.

Postulate

The human notion of face and implicit loss of face is one of the most expensive bits of human folly in terms of relationships and loss of human life.

Face in this context is illusion, a socio-political construct which sells gossip magazines, tabloid newspapers and underpins the scripts of television soap operas.

“Face” lies aback assumption and miscommunication. People get offended, an emotional overaction, if things do not comply with assumption and social expectation. People can assume that the {their} worldview is common and that everyone holds similar prejudices to them.

Once people have gotten hold of the wrong end of the stick the tendency is to grasp this ever more tightly. Mis-perceptions and mis-assimilations of reality are more concrete and fixed than one might imagine.

There is no better demonstration of miscommunication than the game of “Chinese whispers”. Yet surprisingly, given this knowledge, the faceless and ubiquitous “they” are somehow the font of all truth and knowledge….

There is not a lot you can do or say which is contrary to the omniscience of “they”. No matter how well you communicate it, it cannot be perceived accurately because “they” dogmatically forbid it.

The wrong end of the stick beckons with the gravitational pull of a supermassive black hole…

Life and Dreams Diverge…

Over the last few days or so I have been getting some vivid dreams. They refer to things not at all concerned with or relating to, our current life, our physical plane reality. There is not a lot I can do with these dreams.

On the horizon at some stage as yet unspecified is a bi-lateral hip replacement operation. This may / may not offer something of a new lease of life in terms of mobility and relative absence of pain. The diffuse idiopathic skeletal hyperostosis suggests that osteophytes will grow subsequent to surgery reducing the useful life of implants. My thoracic spine will get ever more fused and perhaps extend cervical. I will become a proper stiff.

It is increasingly obvious that due to handicap and low physical capability the garden here is too big. Short of winning the lottery we need to move. The current idea is to move house before any operation because I will still be able to lift heavy stuff for the move. As things stand, and unless I get ill, I do not need to see the GP doctor until September for asthma medication which means that the French side of the orthopaedic line of inquiry is on-hold. I have a follow up for colorectal cancer next week which may require industrial grade laxative and a colonoscopy. Yippee, what fun! My ten year anniversary present.

There is no reliable physical plane evidence to deter from the disabled-enabled nanna-flat trajectory. There is nothing on this plane to suggest any use for me. There is nothing holding us here. We could legally move to UK or Ireland. We have become accustomed to Breton rain so Ireland is less of a push than it once was.

It is pretty clear to me that my lack of social viability means we need to find somewhere out of the hurly burly to some extent. Every time I interact something seems to go wrong. Something grates, people get edgy and uncomfortable.

At the moment I am getting a bit bored with the matinal pain.

The decision funnel towards proper down-sizing and retirement pinches, gets tighter. No other options are available / making an appearance. The blog and patent renewal choices must be made soon. And we have had an income tax form, strangely the tax people in France are hyper organized and mega efficient…

With the price of propane increasing and my lumberjack skills failing, the cost of running the house gets ever more prohibitive.

The end-game looks quiet. The idea of a supported retirement flat is more attractive.

I am due an appointment with a UK consultant rheumatologist soon and a short visit to Jersey will help us understand if we can hack being surrounded by anglophones and just how important Waitrose, Café Nero and Pizza Express are. I will have a better idea if there is any immuno-rheumatic cause at play in my bone–skeletal problems.

The dreams are currently significantly diverging from real physical plane life. I know on one hand that I have an unusual and eclectic set of knowledge given my orthodox science background in my earlier London incarnation. It remains an anomaly and not much more than that.

We probably need to stick the house on the market soon…

I will have to explain to the estate agents that I don’t think like other people and that I have zero desire to discuss prices until hell freezes over. I will not negotiate nor make any counter-offer, sorry. I am not sure that I will be able to get that across.

I see a glitch coming. People just don’t / won’t get it.

Anyway, it is sunny outside. The stray cats Felix and Gandalf have been fed. Felix is not looking well and we are not sure how long he will be with us. This once totally stray cat lets me pick him up on my foot! He lets me handle him and I can feel his ribs.

Madame Canard was on the pond this morning with half a dozen ducklings. Each year she raises two broods over the fence in the “swamp”. Monsieur Canard has been pacing up and down smoking, metaphorically.

The trajectory looks pretty set…life and dreams diverge.

Maybe I Was an Alpaca?

This morning’s dream points {again} to some kind of Tibetan incarnation, perhaps some lama-dude. I have long held this possibility at arm’s length because I have had no waking memory of such a thing. The dream indicates a time stamp roughly of 1960 when things were bad in Tibet and a number of lamas left. We hear about the ones who made it. We don’t hear about the ones who did not.

They may have been vulture food.

I did once go to a dzong in London and had an “empowerment” by Tulku Akong Rinpoche. A lama who along with Chögyam Trungpa escaped from Tibet during the Chinese excess.

I have often wondered why no waking recall. The only answer I came up with is that life as a monk is so very boring that there is little to remember, no outstanding dramatic events. Tedium, day after day routine.

If the dream points at a very recent incarnation, then that hints at something like a tulku incarnation, where one life follows quickly.

That does not really impinge on the current health problems and search for a nanna-flat. In a sense it is little more than a phenomenological possibility when viewed from life circumstance. I do not see nor feel that there is much / anything left for me to do.

I have hypothesised that there have been many failures, way more than “successes”. We only hear of the latter because it is they who have ongoing wider significance. In a way quiet failure fertilizes the ground for success.

I am at something of an impasse on the health front and cannot currently see any further steps. There is nothing urgent and I can tolerate the pain and lack of sleep. We need to move house before even thinking about any operation. It is not a complicated equation, for now.

I am currently where I am not seeing medical intervention as something positive and healing. It seems like a necessary thing and to be endured even. It does not fill me with hope for an easier existence.

Do I have to? Well maybe it is sensible.

Who knows what if any dreams will follow tonight…

The Unknown and The Unknowable

Many do not know with humility where for them the known ends and the unknown begins.

Moreover, their assessment of what is known may be inaccurate in that they imagine they know more than they actually do. Anyone who has taught undergraduate science can testify that there are many students who imagine they know more than they do. They may be confident and exhibit braggadocio concerning their knowledge. They may even pass exams and imagine a mastery over a subject when in fact they have just passed an exam. A qualification is not synonymous with full knowledge. The measured knowledge is qualified to a yard stick. Knowledge begins post exam in its subsequent application. When you have to teach something in public, then you learn. Each time you teach it a new facet, previously un-noted, may be revealed. You could say that teaching is also a process of learning for the so-called teacher.

It stands to reason then, that the scale and scope of the unknown can not even be estimated. Therefore, it cannot be factored in, in a reliable way. There may be some things, concepts and states of awareness which are unknowable, particularly so while in meaty carnate human form.

You do not know what you don’t know and are, by definition, unaware of the gaping hole in your knowledge. Though you may self-diagnose prematurely as omniscient. There are many who imagine themselves smart and with wide, deep and profound knowledge of life, the universe and everything.

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To give a trite example what it feels like to be dead is unknown when alive, yet because we all die, it is not unknowable because we all get a chance to experience it. The level to which we are conscious in the death state may be variable. We don’t know for sure.

In the new age literature, I encounter many who talk about the buddhic and atmic planes or awarenesses. There is a certainty in language which is not necessarily backed up by personal experience. It is for them a theory, a hypothesis and not an experiential reality. In the blue books opus direct and continued experience of these states, in the model hypothesis, is as a result of initiation and evolution.

Humans like to model in their own image and may draw glowing enlightened figures, perhaps partially because states of awareness and consciousness of highly abstract natures are not easily diagrammatically rendered. In the Ancient Wisdom traditions, the atmic “plane” is sometime referred to as the nirvanic plane, implying it is the awareness of the post nirvanic being lacking a causal vehicle having blown it off. They may fail to imagine awe and the austere nature of universe, perhaps they imagine a soft radiant glow, with comforting pastel shades. Cosmogenesis is not nice and fluffy; it is cosmic and violent beyond comprehension. The scope is far beyond human experience. We can just do our best to observe, model and understand.

For a scientist the use of the two dimensional nomenclature of plane is very unhelpful and distracting. Plane implies matter and physicality {excluding imaginary numbers}. When I have been reading these things, I find that the legacy nomenclature from the Victorian mediums and early twentieth century occultists off putting and something which I need to put to one side to get to the gist. The use of etheric “plane” instead of emotional is old fashioned.

I have seen the word Toltec described as man of knowledge and uttered with a bit of awe. I have yet to meet a so-called Toltec who can solve Schrödinger’s equation for a particle in a three dimensional box. Tens of thousands of undergraduates do this every year. There is a whopping great gap in knowledge of physics, chemistry, biology and engineering, in my opinion. They may have knowledge but it is far from complete.

Similarly, many scientists may profess profound knowledge. They may pooh-pooh magic, chakras, ghosts and exorcism. They may even soap box. I’ll wager that I could spend the wee small hours in a haunted house with them and have significantly less fear. Even though ghosts do not exist, of course. If I started to do a rite of exorcism, they would probably shit their pants.

Both groups have the unknown and the extent of it is also unknown. I could play on words and say that the extent of the unknown is the unknowable for any give life because we can only map out so much unknown in ~ 85 standard earth years.

I’ll make a statement; it is common for human beings to imagine themselves more knowledgeable than they actually are. There is an arrogance which is out of proportion with their tens of kilograms of meat measured against a planetary and cosmic scale. Yet they have trouble not being adamant and assertive about things which they know little or nothing about.

————————————————————–

Do you know where the unknown for you starts?

Have you an inkling of just how vast that unknown is for you?

The Problem with Introverts…

I’ll kick this off with a joke I used to use on my MBTI courses which I gave.

An Introvert Joke

It’s a rainy day. The reception teacher is getting the kids ready to go home. She struggles for 5 minutes with one child’s boots, tugging them on and getting them laced up.

Just as she’s finished, the I child says, “those aren’t my boots”. The teacher sighs and spends another few minutes undoing them and taking them off.

Just as she’s finished, the child adds, “They’re my brother’s. My mum said I had to wear them today.”

In the MBTI context I have an INFJ preference. I score very high for introversion and judging but my intuition {N} score is close to the maximum available. That intuition is introverted so largely unseen. That means I have a highly organised orientation which is strictly timed with big picture thinking. If people are late and chaotic I can get unsettled / peeved. People see my warm caring feeling F side but I can easily flip to the more logical T side.

For years I acted out ENTJ because I thought that was what blokes were meant to be.

Over the years many people have expressed an opinion about what I am like, who I am, what I am capable off, what my predilections are. They may have expected some kind of response. Rarely did they get one. I am not keen on arguing the toss. It is a stupid waste of time. Some people learn by testing their ideas out in conversation and may expect a push back. Why should I do their work for them? As an introvert I very rarely offer up information or opinion. If I do it will be in a tiny stepwise manner. If things are joined up in my inner world, I have no need to express it. Viewed from one angle few if any get to see what might be called “me”. One could be mysterious and say that I am like an iceberg with hidden depths and not a lettuce like Liz.

I have noted that if you don’t agree or disagree with what someone says they imagine it to be correct, perhaps more correct than it actually is. I could be wrong in this but my intuition can be very reliable. It is not my problem if they have the wrong end of the stick.

People who are fond of bullshitting whether mutual or otherwise, can feel uncomfortable because I don’t play the BS / hype / exaggerate / big up game. Women are less prone to this discomfort than men. Who seem to need ritual sniffing and metaphorical at urinal wall pissing contests. In any case I now have an enlarged prostate. I can be very deadpan and uninterested. There is no uncomfortable silence for me.

It is funny in doctor’s waiting rooms. I do not arse about on my ‘phone, I do not read the magazines and never break the silence in an attempt to have a chat. Someone often breaks. They try to engage. Here I can apologize and explain that I do not speak French well. This nearly always restores the silence. Many are uncomfortable without noise.

In one particular framework my predilection is for dreaming and not (s)talking and I am “in” the place of power and dreaming, the South. I have met a number of people who give courses on dreaming and lucid dreaming in particular. Each of these has been by predilection a (s)talker. Which roughly maps with extroversion. They like techniques like waking in the middle of the night, working with apps and finding their hands to prove that they are in a lucid dream. They interrupt the dream to direct it. In one sense they have talked at an experienced dreamer. They were used to being seen as the expert.

It is possible that they could have learned vast amounts about dreaming from me. But the biggest hindrance to dreaming is talking. They will never know what might have been because I felt no need to big myself up or compare dreaming cock size. I did not need to name drop and show how “in” I was with the dreaming community.

The problem with introverts is that if you talk at them. They will stay schtum and say little or nothing. If you ask, they might just respond, depending on wind direction and the phase of the moon.

It is even worse in my case because I have no need to play the itchy back game because I am no longer in that world. There is currently no need for me to join in…

Believing Without Concluding

Luckily, I can believe something without coming to a conclusion about its veracity or accuracy or degree of right. I don’t have to win an argument or be right. I can even hold multiple views about the same situation without needing to pick a favourite and I don’t need to soap box, to be dogmatic or adamant. The dream this morning highlighted a fundamental difference in mentality between me and where I once worked. I was not ambitious nor obsessed with winning and league table position. My life did not hang on success or kudos. In many ways I did not belong there amongst. So, it worked out as it did. Dandy.

I think a safe “conclusion” is that the dreams in this blog are not normal or average. This makes me something of an outlier, an anomaly even.  This “conclusion” is uncoloured and non-emotive. It is not significant.

I can see how some of the “data” in these dreams can be interpreted using various narratives, for example Toltec. In which case I belong to a certain predilection as a dreamer and not a stalker.  I am a slightly different class of being. I think it fair to see a mild philosophical bent in my approach to life.

I can try on a working hypothesis, see if there is a partial fit. If there is I note it but have no need to conclude. Such and such is consistent with so and so. No Biggy. Next.

My own experience is, that at least in my case, the law of cause & effect or karma is applicable. I have a mind set of trying to address karma rather than going “phew got away with it, at least for now”. I’ll speculate that this again is not normal or average. To take responsibility for the actions AND consequences in life is not something most share. They fail to see the link of causality because that can be mightily inconvenient. People suffer from entitlement issues and believe, for example, that they are entitled to bomb the living daylights out of a people. They deserve to enact bloody revenge. It is justice no matter how disproportionate. They may be unable to calmly and cooly think it through. They make concentrated poverty adjacent to their opulent wealth and do not foresee consequences. Blinded by rage they do not solve, lashing out is not the most evolved thing to do.

In terms of liberation. One cannot achieve liberation whilst one has unresolved karma, it remains like a weight holding you back. The karma of stubbornness is rich and like most karma can have an ironic flavour. If you don’t believe in karma, it is currently your karma so to be. Karma is patient and one day it will make you understand. You may get knelt.

I know, I believe, that I understand the implications of much of the material in the blog. But I will never conclude that I am right about this and exclusively so. There could be many other explanations or none at all. I am just constructing a temporary view for my own amusement. Like a sand castle I can knock it down. I won’t be explicit and detailed. People like to argue the toss especially with others on the internet.

Not concluding is the antithesis of modern education methods. We are trained to give the {only} “right” answer, to justify it and make a conclusion or two. That way we can gain marks and pass exams; we can earn qualifications.

Students want to know, “tell me what the answer is”. Sometimes there are no answers within the common mundane context. We can ask Siri or Alexa. I suspect that humanity is getting ever lazier and may one day lose the ability to think for itself.

People might only believe if the norm decrees something right and correct. If consensus deems. But there can be different groups of consensuses who will fight for the dominance of being right.

I don’t think that conclusions and answers are evolutionary. They fixate, anchor and coral.

Sacrifice Petals in the Blue Books Opus

Selected extracts following on from the guidance in my dream.


I would point out also that even the black magician possesses these qualities, for they are the sine qua non of all magical art, both black and white; the black magician passes through the door of initiation as it opens twice for the first two initiations. He passes through on the strength of his will and his character accomplishments and because the group conscious aspect of the soul is active in him as in his brother seeking affiliation with the Great White Lodge. The love aspect is, however, lacking in the black magician. Forget not that all is energy and there is nothing else. The energy which is an aspect of the soul and which we call magnetic attraction (the group-building quality) he shares with the spiritual aspirant. He is essentially group conscious, and though his motives are separative, his methods are those of the group, and these he can get only from the soul.

You see again another reason why the first and second initiations are not regarded by the Lodge of Masters as major initiations. Only the third is so regarded, because at that initiation the entire personality life is flooded with energy coming from the Spiritual Triad, via the “sacrifice petals” of the will and purpose aspect of the soul. To this type of energy the black magician is not responsive. He can and does respond to the knowledge – most ancient and hardly won – stored up in the “knowledge petals” of the soul; he can appropriate and utilize the energy of attraction (erroneously called love by some students) stored up in the “love petals” of the soul, but he cannot respond to and use the energy of divine love, working out in the divine Plan which controls all knowledge and converts it into wisdom, and which actuates and clarifies the motive which brings loving magnetic attraction into action and which we call true group consciousness and group cohesion. It is at this point that the two ways – of darkness and of light – become widely divergent. Until the third initiation is taken, glamor may condition the attitude of those seeking to understand the life of a man upon the Path, and they may mistake the spurious for the real. The black magician leads a disciplined life, analogous to that of the spiritual aspirant; he practices purity for his own safeguarding and not in order that he may become a channel for the energy of light; he works with power (the power of magnetic attraction) with and in groups, but he does this for his own selfish ends and for the fulfilment of his own ambitious purposes. But at the third initiation there comes to the true spiritual initiate the revelation which is the reward of perseverance and purity rightly motivated – the revelation of the divine purpose, as the soul records it in terms of the hierarchical plan, though not yet in terms of the Monad. To this purpose and to the loving Will of God (to use a trite Christian phrase) the black brother cannot respond; his aims are different. You have here the true meaning of the oft-used and misunderstood phrase, “the parting of the ways.”

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For long, aspirants have noted and have been taught the effect of the will upon the astral, or emotional body. It is one of the primary and most elementary of the initial tensions, and is taught upon the Probationary Path. It leads to the purifying and the reorganizing of the entire psychic and emotional life, as the result of its destructive action. “If you will only think,” “if you will only use a little will,” and “if you will only remember that you have a mind,” we say to the children of the race and to beginners upon the Path of conscious Return. Little by little, then, the focus and the orientation shift out of the astral life and from the emotional level of consciousness into the mental, and consequently into the reflection of the world of purpose, found in the three worlds. When that stage has been somewhat developed, then there follows, upon the Path of Discipleship and of preparation for initiation, an effort to grasp and understand the higher aspects of this mental process, and the will aspect of the egoic life begins to influence the disciple. The “petals of sacrifice” unfold and the sacred sacrificial aspect of life is revealed in its beauty, purity, simplicity and in its revolutionizing quality.

Upon the Path of Initiation, the monadic will (of which the egoic will is the reflection and the individual self-will is the distortion) is gradually transmitted, via the antahkarana, direct to the man upon the physical plane. This produces the higher correspondence of those qualities so glibly spoken of by the well-trained but dense esotericist – transmutation and transformation. The result is the assimilation of the individual will and the egoic will into the purpose of the Monad which is the purpose undeviating and unalterable – of the One in Whom we live and move and have our being. This is the field of the true burning, for our “God is a consuming Fire.” This is the burning bush or the burning tree of life of Biblical symbolism. This highest of all the fires, this deeply spiritual and hitherto seldom recognized burning ground, has its effects summed up for us in the next phrase or sentence of Rule I.

Extracted from “The Rays and the Initiations”


Through the application of the Rod of Initiation, the work of separating the spiritual self from the higher self is furthered, and the imprisoned life gradually escapes, whilst the causal body is slowly absorbed or dissipated.

This has led to the expression, sometimes used in occult books, of “the cracking of the causal body” at each initiation, and to the idea of the inner central fire gradually breaking through and destroying the confining walls, and also of the destruction of the Temple of Solomon through the withdrawal of the Shekinah. All these phrases are symbolic wordings, and are attempts to convey to the mind of man fundamental truth from different angles.

By the time the fourth initiation has been reached, the work of destruction is accomplished, the solar angel returns to his own place, having performed his function, and the solar lives seek their point of emanation. The life within the form mounts up then in triumph to the bosom of its “Father in Heaven,” just as the life within the physical body at the moment of death seeks its source, the Ego, and this likewise in four stages:

  1. By the withdrawal from the dense physical body.
  2. By the withdrawal from the etheric body.
  3. By a later vacating of the astral body.
  4. A final leaving of the mental body.

Another way of emphasizing the same truth is to regard the egoic body as a center of force, a wheel of energy, or a lotus, and to picture it as a lotus with nine petals, hiding within these petals a central unit of three petals; these in their turn secrete the central life, or the “jewel in the lotus.” As evolution proceeds, these three circles of three petals gradually unfold, having a simultaneous effect on one or other of the central three. These three circles are called respectively the petals of Sacrifice, Love, and Knowledge. At initiation the Rod is applied to the petals in a scientific manner, and regulated according to ray and tendency. This brings about the opening of the central bud, the revelation of the jewel, the withdrawal of that jewel from the casket which has so long shielded it, and its transference to “the crown,” as it is occultly called, meaning its return to the Monad whence it came.

We must clearly recognize that all the above is but an attempt, through the limiting agency of words, to describe the method and the rites whereby spiritual liberation is finally achieved in this cycle; first, through the method of evolutionary unfoldment, or gradual development, and then in the final stages through the Rod of Initiation.

Extracted from “Initiation, Human and Solar”


c. Third Group of Petals – Sacrifice Petals:

  1. The Petal of Knowledge for the mental plane; its unfoldment marks the period wherein the man consciously utilizes all that he has gained or is gaining under the law for the definite benefit of humanity.
    Each of the groups of petals is distinguished by a predominant coloring; Knowledge, on the physical plane, with the coloring of the other two subsidiary; Love, on the astral plane, with the light of sacrifice weaker in tone than the other two, which practically show forth in equal brilliancy. On the mental plane, the light of sacrifice comes to its full display, and all that is seen is colored by that light.
  2. The Petal of Love on the mental plane is unfolded through the conscious steady application of all the powers of the soul to the service of humanity with no thought of return nor any desire for reward for the immense sacrifice involved.
  3. The Petal of Sacrifice for the mental plane: demonstrates as the predominant bias of the soul as seen in a series of many lives spent by the initiate prior to his final emancipation. He becomes in his sphere the “Great Sacrifice.”
    This stage can be seen objectively to the eye of the clairvoyant as dual in effect:
    • The mental unit becomes a radiant point of light; its four spirillae transmit force with intense rapidity.
    • The three higher petals unfold, and the nine-petalled lotus is seen perfected.

The causal body is then (expressed in terms of fire) a blazing center of heat, radiating to its group warmth and vitality. Within the periphery of the egoic wheel can be seen the nine spokes rotating with intense rapidity and – after the third Initiation – becoming fourth dimensional, or the wheels “turn upon” themselves. (Bible. Ezekiel, 1:15:21.) In the midst forming a certain geometrical triangle (differing according to the ray of the Monad) can be seen three points of fire, or the permanent atoms and the mental unit, in all their glory; at the center can be seen a central blaze of glory growing in intensity as the three inner petals respond to the stimulation. When the fire of matter, or “fire by friction,” becomes sufficiently intense; when the fire of mind, or solar fire (which vitalizes the nine petals) becomes equally fierce, and when the electric spark at the innermost center blazes out and can be seen, the entire causal body becomes radioactive. Then the fires of substance (the vitality of the permanent atoms) escape from the atomic spheres, and add their quota to the great sphere in which they are contained; the fire of mind blends with its emanating source, and the central life escapes. This is the great liberation. The man, in terms of human endeavor, has achieved his goal. He has passed through the three Halls and in each has transferred that which he gained therein to the content of his consciousness; he has in ordered sequence developed and opened the petals of the lotus – first opening the lower three, which involves a process covering a vast period of time. Then the second series of petals are opened, during a period of time covering his participation intelligently in world affairs until he enters the spiritual kingdom at the first Initiation; and a final and briefer period wherein the three higher or inner ring of petals are developed and opened.

——

Let us now continue with our consideration of the petals and Initiation.

Each of the three circles of lotus petals is closely connected with one of the three Halls. This has been earlier referred to. Much of the work connected with the first tier of petals is part of the experience in the Hall of Ignorance. The act of organizing and preparing for unfoldment is the most important stage, and that with which man is the most concerned. The act of petal opening is of briefer duration, and is produced by the pouring in of solar heat or fire, and thus bringing about a fresh access of energy. This is produced in our earth scheme through the cooperation of the Mahachohan, of the Chohan of a man’s egoic group, and the particular Ego concerned.

The following tabulation may be found helpful:

  1. Knowledge Petals – First circle
    1. Organized in the Hall of Ignorance.
    2. Guided by the force and energy of the Mahachohan.
    3. The third group of solar Pitris affected.
  2. Love Petals – Second circle
    1. Organized in the Hall of Learning.
    2. Guided by the force of the Bodhisattva.
    3. The second group of solar Lords affected.
  3. Will or Sacrifice Petals – Third circle
    1. Organized in the Hall of Wisdom.
    2. Guided by the force and energy of the Manu.
    3. The first group of solar Angels affected.

At the stage which we are considering (that of the organization and unfoldment of the first tier of petals), the egoic influence felt at the beginning is but small, but when the three petals become sufficiently active and alive through the energy accumulated and stored up in the ego during the activities of the personal life, a form of initiation then takes place which is a reflection (on a lower plane) of the great manasic initiations. The energy in the outer circle of petals causes it to spring apart from the next circle, and to unfold. This threefold energy becomes interactive and a very definite stage is thus reached. This series of initiations is seldom recognized within the physical brain consciousness owing to the relatively inchoate stage of the bodies, and the unresponsiveness of the brain matter. Yet they are nevertheless initiations of a definite though less important character, and they involve primarily the display (within the personal life of the man) of an intelligent recognition of his group relationships on earth. This recognition is frequently selfish in character, as, for instance, that which the union worker displays, but it is indicative of group interplay.

—————–

Sacrifice involves even more than what has been already pointed out. It involves the following factors:

  1. Knowledge of the purposes and intentions of the planetary Logos,
  2. Realization of the particular and peculiar type of energy, and of the quality of his own Ray Lord,
  3. Comprehension of the different groups of existences who are participating in planetary evolution and in solar manifestation,
  4. A revelation as to certain cosmic enterprises in which our planetary Logos is acting as an intelligent cooperator. Thus is brought in the factor of extra-systemic force.

When all these and other factors are considered, it is evident that the energy set loose in sacrifice to these plans and intentions involves such a vast field of comprehending wisdom that it is not possible for the average man ever to sense it. It deals with the purposes and plans of the Silent Watchers over the three planes – the five, and the seven; it deals with the dynamic force of the great Destroying Angels on all the planes, who will eventually – through the manipulation of the three forms of energy – bring to an end all that is. These angels are a mysterious group of fohatic Lives Who sound forth the trumpets of destruction, and by means of the notes sounded produce that shattering which will set loose the energy of forms.

The second point is very briefly given. It concerns the innermost circle of petals, or that set of three petals, or those three streams of whirling energy, which immediately surround the “jewel in the lotus.” Each of these three petals is related to one of the three circles, and is organized as each of the three circles is unfolded. They form, therefore, a synthesis of knowledge, love or sacrifice, and are closely connected through the type of force flowing through them with one of the three higher centers of the planetary Logos of a man’s particular ray. This central unit of threefold force is dealt with in a specific manner at initiation.

At the first, the second, and the third Initiations, one of the three petals opens up, permitting an ever freer display of the central electric point. At the fourth Initiation, the jewel (being completely revealed) through its blazing light, its intense radiatory heat, and its terrific outflow of force, produces the disintegration of the surrounding form, the shattering of the causal body, the destruction of the Temple of Solomon, and the dissolution of the lotus flower. The work of the Initiator in this connection is very interesting. Through the medium of the Rod of Initiation and of certain Words of Power, He brings about results of a coordinating, transmuting and liberating nature.

Through the action of the Rod as wielded at the first two Initiations, the two outer circles unfold, the energy of the two is set free and the two sets of force as embodied in the six petals are coordinated and become interactive. This stage of petal adjustment succeeds upon that called earlier “unfoldment” and has to do with the simultaneous action of the two tiers of petals. The interplay between the two circles is completed, and the circulation of the force currents perfected. According to a man’s ray and subray, so is the Rod applied to what might be termed the “key” petal. This of course differs according to the unit of force involved. It is of interest to note here that, as the petal substance is deva substance and as the energy of the petals is the energy of certain manasadevas (one of the three higher orders of Agnishvattas) the initiate is over-shadowed (the word is not entirely satisfactory in explaining the type of deva service here necessitated, but it must suffice) by a great deva who represents the equilibrium of substantial vibration which is brought about by the efforts of the initiate, aided by the adepts who present him, and who each represent one of the two polarities of force. This is temporarily stabilized by the Initiator. These three factors,

  1. The representing deva,
  2. The two adepts,
  3. The initiator,

form, for a brief second, a triangle of force with the initiate at the center. Through them circulates the terrific power, the “fire from Heaven,” which is brought down from the higher triad through the agency of the electrical rod.

———-

A similar process takes place when the second circle of petals is organized and ready for unfoldment. This time the World Teacher, the Master and the Ego concerned are cooperating, for these smaller initiations deal with the love nature, with astral or emotional organization, and with the recognition (by the man in his personal life) of some form of unselfish love, and of a love for some object, person or ideal which leads to altruistic endeavor, and to the negation of the lower self.

This brings us to the third group of petals or to the unfolding of the will or sacrifice petals, based on intelligent purpose and pure love. The force in this group calls in a different factor, that of the Manu, as well as the force of the Bodhisattva, and the desired effect is produced through the full cooperation of the fully awakened Ego, aided by his own Master (if he is evolving in a cycle wherein hierarchical effort for humanity takes the form it does in this present one), and the Manu. Eventually (after the second Initiation) the Lord of the World comes in as a factor, – the Lord of world power, fully expressing itself in love.

Speaking generally, therefore, it might be stated that egoic groups in whom the knowledge petals are being organized and unfolded come under the primary influence of the Mahachohan; those in whom the love aspect, or the second circle of petals, is opening come under the primary influence of the Bodhisattva, with the knowledge unfoldment paralleling the work; whilst those in whom the third tier is being opened come under the energy direction of the Manu, with the two other types of force coordinated. It will be apparent to the careful reader that in this fact lies hid the secret of why the Mahachohan holds office longer than either of His two Brothers, holding it as He does for an entire world period. The key to these cycles lies hid in the following thoughts: the Bodhisattva and the Manu change more frequently and pass on to other work owing to the fact that They each embody one type of triple force, whereas the Mahachohan is the focal point for five types of energy, each in its turn triple in nature.

In each case of petal unfoldment, certain types of force are generated, dealt with, assimilated, and used, at first unconsciously and finally with full intelligence.

——-

There is no need to enlarge further on this subject. I would like to enumerate the lines of alignment of the third group which eventually transcends the other two, and effects the final illumination and liberation of the man.

Group III.

  1. The sacrifice Petals.
  2. The sacrifice petals in the two outer groups.
  3. The three major centers in each of the three planes of the three worlds, producing thus absorption of the lower four centers on each plane.
  4. The head center, or the thousand-petalled lotus.
  5. The pineal gland, producing the vivification and irradiation of the entire lower nature.

These three groups of forces in man, when synthesized, produce eventually that perfect coordination and adaptation to all conditions, forms and circumstances which eventuate in the escape of the liberated vital spark. This is technically accomplished when the “bud” opens, and it becomes possible for the Hierophant at initiation to liberate the energy of the Monad, and to direct that energy (through the agency of the Rod) so that eventually it circulates free and untrammeled through every part of the lower threefold manifestation. As it circulates, it destroys by burning, for it arouses the kundalini aspect perfectly by the time the fifth Initiation is taken. The destroyer aspect becomes dominated, and the form is “burnt upon the altar.”

These ideas can also be studied in their larger aspect; a clue to the mystery of cosmic evil may be found in the difference existing between the sacred and non-sacred planets, and in the purpose and place, hitherto unrecognized, of the lives of the informing existences of the many planets and planetoids in the solar system. Some are purely mahatic or of the third Aspect, dominated by the devas. Others (of which the sacred planets are examples) are controlled by the second Aspect, and that second aspect will work through unconquerably into manifestation. A few, like our Earth planet, are battlegrounds, and the two Aspects are in collision, with the indication of the eventual triumph of the “white” magic.

——–

The Sacrifice Petals

The energies or forces flowing through, and thus producing activity in the inner tier of petals, the Sacrifice Petals, are again similar in nature to those already enumerated, plus a definite stimulation of power in two directions.

One stimulating influence comes from the Will Aspect of the Monad, and thus (through transmission) from the first Aspect of the planetary Logos, and the other emanates from the “Sacred Bud which veils the Jewel.” This is a particularly strong vibration because, when the inner circle is unfolded, the jewel is revealed, and the three “veils” or “sacred petals” open successively when the three tiers unfold.

It is thus apparent what numerous energizing agencies are responsible for the “motion,” occultly understood, of the egoic lotus. There is the inherent life of the atomic units forming each petal, and the circulatory life of the petal itself, regarding it as an individual unit. There is likewise the life of the circle of three petals and to this we must add the unified activity of the outer three circles, or the blending of knowledge forces absorbed from the personal self, of love forces which are the natural energies of the solar Angel, and of sacrifice forces pouring in from the Monad. Thus we have a marvelous aggregate of streams of energies, all representing interior and still greater (because cosmic) energies.

Finally, we have the dynamic force of the “Jewel” at the Heart, which is itself the focal point for the life of the planetary Logos, and through the planetary Logos of all the other Logoi.

Thus the potentialities latent in the incarnating jiva are stupendous, and he can become as God, provided he submits to the evolutionary process, and does not “refrain from being stretched upon the wheel.” Thus the expansions of consciousness, which will admit an individual point of spiritual life into the councils, and the Wisdom of the Deity, are no idle promise but are guaranteed by the very constitution of the vehicle employed, and the place in the scheme of the “developing Point,” as the Ego is sometimes called. Naught in time and space can hinder, for every form being simply an expression of energized life, tends to serve every other form. Stimulation of some kind, the tendency to increase the vibration of contacting streams of energy, the accentuation of the activity of each centralized point as it contacts other points in the general heightening of the vibration through the interplay of those forces, all this sweeps the entire system on to its consummation, and to the revelation of the “glory which shall some day be revealed.” (Bible. I. Peter, 5:1.) All these forces form the aggregate of what is called “fohatic life.” As the system, or the body of the Logos, is carried forward through the energy in all its parts, so is each infinitesimal part speeded on to its similar individual glorification. The many which form the All, and the units which constitute the One, cannot be differentiated as the consummation is achieved. They are merged, and lost in the general “beatific light,” as it is sometimes called. We can then extend the concept somewhat further, and realize the cosmic interplay which is likewise being carried forward. We can picture the cosmic stimulation and intensification which proceeds as constellations form the units in the Whole instead of planets or human atoms. Whole suns with their allied systems in their immensity play the part of atoms. Thus some idea may be gained of the unified purpose underlying the turning of the great Wheel of the cosmic Heaven, and the working through of the life purposes of those stupendous Existences Who  hold a position in the cosmic Hierarchy similar to that of the “ONE ABOUT WHOM NAUGHT MAY BE SAID.”

It is not possible to give students an adequate idea of the beauty of the egoic lotus when it has reached the stage of complete unfoldment. The radiance of its color is not here referred to, but the brilliancy of the fires, and the rapid scintillation of the ceaselessly moving streams and points of energy. Each petal pulsates with quivering fire “points,” and each tier of petals vibrates with life, whilst at the center glows the Jewel, raying forth streams of energy from the center to the periphery of the outermost circle.

The fires of living energy circulate around each individual petal and the method of interweaving and the circulation of the fires is (as may be well realized) sevenfold in nature according to the sevenfold nature of the Logos involved. Each circle of petals becomes, as evolution proceeds, likewise active, and revolves around the central Jewel, so that we have, not only the activity of the petals, not only the activity of the living points or the deva lives within the petal circumference, but likewise the unified activity of each tier of the threefold lotus. At a specific stage in evolution, prior to the opening of the central veiling bud, the three tiers of petals, considered as a unit, begin to revolve, so that the entire lotus appears to be in motion. At the final stages the central circle of petals opens, revealing that which is hid, and revolves around the Jewel, only in a contrary direction to the rapidly circulating outer lotus. The reason may not here be revealed for it is hid in the nature of the electric Fire of Spirit itself.

Extracted from “A Treatise on Cosmic Fire”


Visions or Visual Hallucinations?

If I understand it correctly the phenomena of visions plays a role in many religions. Things can be revealed by beings such as angels. Those prone to visions have been prone contextually to dreaming too.  

My general understanding is that angels are rare and play only a very important pivotal role in the religious context. They do not appear to common or garden people despite what many a new age book suggests. Helping you find the man of your dreams is probably not high on their to do list.

{I am generalising widely}.

Yet seeing something that others do not is classed as a hallucination, which can be a symptom of psychosis. Many of the figures in religious history might be diagnosed as having an episode of psychosis today.  They could be locked up and given anti-psychotic medicine.

In indigenous cultures going on a “Vision Quest” might be seen as a rite of passage. Isolated from the day to day and the tribe an individual seeks a vision of the future and his purpose. Visions can be had in caves, on high mountains. Usually, one has to step away from the mundane noise of life, maybe ease off the food.

I have participated in shamanic drumming and gone on a mini-vision quest. I can also use £250,000 femtosecond pulsed optical parametric amplifiers. It is possible that I am unique in this, there may be others. In non-linear optics world it is probably best not to talk about shamanic vision quests it could have a detrimental impact on promotion and employment prospects. So, many may have kept schtum like me.

It could be argued that I have relatively pure Welsh indigenous blood from the matrilinear line based in deepest darkest Snowdonia. As an indigenous it is not so weird for me to do indigenous things.

Anyway, I have had a number of visions over the years including when I lived in Brixton and was an academic. Needless to say, I told no colleagues nor a GP. This primarily because I always knew that I was having a vision/hallucination and was aware of my physical plane surroundings in day-to-day world at the same time. They did not overly impinge, nor were any of them frightening. If you speak to a medic about this kind of thing you could be opening a Pandora’s box and be exposed to pet theories and the latest pharma sponsored medication.

My working hypothesis concerning many of these visions is that most fall in the category of past-life recall. Some might think me whacko or that I have delusions of grandeur. People can have very closed minds.

Back in the mid seventies I used to travel by airplane from Zambia to school in Gloucestershire. There were six flights a year and by the age of 13, in the 1970s, I had 150,000 air miles. I am guilty about my childhood carbon footprint 😉. On occasion there would be a fuel stop at Malta. Each time I landed there I had a massive déjà-vu. Without knowing why, I knew that I had been there before.

This morning around 6 AM I was not sleeping so I started to do a meditation. For whatever reason, I was having difficulty and I started to have a relaxed enjoyable vision of myself in a cowled cloak and chain mail. The setting of the vision was around 800 years ago. I was aware of the vision and the bedroom. I could hear the wife breathing.

Why this is happening now I don’t know. It did point me back to a vision I had in 2003.

The vision last night may refer to “the knights of Malta”, a term used in Brittany for both Templars and the Hospitaliers, Ordre de Saint-Jean de Jérusalem.

I have had many visions associated with this putative life, a French one.

Nearby there is a hospitalier commanderie whose records do not go back past 1313 when the goods of the Templars were ceded to them.

There was also relatively nearby a Templar commanderie and the relics of a small church. The look of which is not far from one I saw in another vision.


What would you do?

Would you tell your general practice GP doctor?

Would you tell your line manager at work?

Would you imagine yourself off your trolley?

Or would you think that the sanest hypothesis was past life recall?


I am quite looking forward to seeing what may or may not happen over the next day or so…


Life Divergences and the Wrong End of the Stick

I have recently had a several months stint on LinkedIn. Because I am an “old fart” I went to university way back when it was much less common in the UK. My class size was of the order of 30. It was hard to get in. There was an in-department tea / snack room which served buttered toast. After a 9 AM chemistry lecture you could get coffee and toast and marmalade. We knew each other quite well and there was a lot of fraternisation between staff and students. Back then there was a lot of booze. It would be frowned upon today, Jurassic behaviours.

It is safe to conclude that when taking the integral of life time earnings of most of my university peer group, based on their LinkedIn profiles, I am at the bottom of the earnings table and I am not going to earn any more. I was the baby of the class being born end of August, but somehow also a social lynch pin. 4 out of 30 came from my school. Most of my peers have been successful whereas my “career” ended in 2007. I did some small “A” level science tutoring for a number of years. I retired around five years ago. Often it is the years 40-65 when people earn the most. I did not.

It could be said that I am a failure and that I failed.

I worked for over a decade as an academic at a top London university. Many of that peer group and people whom I once taught have had and are having way more success than me. There are big cheeses.

There are a number of possible explanations for why I quit at the age of 42. They include burn out, the so-called INFJ door slam, some mental health problems, or the renunciation of a way of life. I was very unhappy that my colleagues were talking about getting rid of people to improve the REF rating. Nice! I figured I could handle going better than others. The decision was quick and nobody anticipated it. I don’t recall having any discussions. I did not have a leaving party because I hate that kind of thing. I handed over my responsibilities and just left. Not many, very few, said goodbye. I thought at the time that it was handled poorly. British people can be awkward and scientists are not renowned for their interpersonal skills. I don’t believe anyone from there addressed the subject with me, certainly not meaningfully.

I was not anticipating what was to unfold in terms of meditations and chanting. My life certainly diverged from where it had been heading. There were consequences which I had not anticipated in terms of my employability.

If you meditate at least once daily for two decades you are likely to differ markedly in terms of psyche and mind from those who do not. If you don’t see someone for over a decade they may try to shoehorn their perception of you into their old version. They may be unable to conceive of what you are like now. They will not know “the point before mind”.

I have no ambition, no drive, no goals, no targets. I am not overly fussed about what happens to me. I am not interested in kudos. There is no driver for me to invent. I doubt that anything I might write is sellable, certainly not profitable. So, there is no point in me trying to publish for money. In one sense I am waiting until my time is up. The likelihood is that my time will be used gardening, doing DIY, strolling and a bit of blogging here and there. I will be a carer from time to time.

I am out of touch with the modern way of life. I have not made a social ‘phone call in near a decade. I have near zero social email use. Just as I am out of touch with modern life, the outer world is out of touch with me.  Only a few people know any of my email addresses and only one person has my ‘phone number. The hospital has it too.

Life is uncomplicated by connectivity.

When you watch the news, it is often a loner who is not popular who turns out to be the perpetrator of some killing or other. People are prejudiced about people like me. They may even pity me and feel sad. That is getting the wrong end of the stick by a country mile. People transfer their obsession with social contact onto me. I am quite happy not to have any. I can go days without speaking to anyone.

I certainly did not add a great deal to UK plc. I once co-founded a company which put dinner on the table for about fifty households. In principle I could have done more. But I did not.

It could be said that I was perhaps fated to do a “Reggie Perrin” only I never came back to work.

I do not know what fate has in store for me, if anything. It is very unlikely to have a wider impact or significance. This could be argued to be a waste. Or simply it is what it is.

Being a four cancer couple already sets us apart statistically. Colon cancer and basal cell carcinomas for me, myeloma and breast for her. She start posts operative radiotherapy next week. I get a “chimney sweep” colonoscopy next year. I am on prostate cancer watch because of slightly elevated PSA. No signs of any lesions in the MRI.

It is pretty clear what the next month is about. The important bit, that is.

I speculate that were I to meet any of the people from my peer groupings it would take quite a while for the penny to drop concerning just how far my life and beingness has diverged from theirs. And they would almost certainly get entirely the wrong end of the stick in any attempt at communication beyond the basic CV style “life fact” exchange. I’ll wager I could understand their lives better than they could understand mine. I came from “there”. I do not think that they could get it nor do I believe that I could convey. They would have to experience over a fair time interval to even begin.

I could be wrong…

I am divergent…