Over the last few weeks we have been watching the six nations rugby competition. People want to know who won and who finished last, what was their position in the league table. Wales came last and got the wooden spoon. The world is obsessed with metrics

The QS word university rankings for 2025 are:

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I taught at one of these for over a decade {Imperial} and got a B.Sc. and a Ph.D. from another of these {UCL}. I had very brief spells teaching at two other top ten UK based universities. On paper then I was at pukka places for a while. I was not Mickey Mouse and I did not teach “Application of Media Studies To Pre-Carthaginian Naval Cultures”.

That track-record of mine is however ancient history.

I am not quite sure why people are so obsessed with league tables. Each football season hundreds of millions of people around the globe check the league position of their team and follow each football match with an avid interest.

People read polls to see how well Nigel Bellend Farage is doing. They make extensive soporific current affairs programmes to discuss poll positions.

They can base their interactions with others on their relative positions in various league tables. Trump has probably damaged the upcoming global league position of US universities.

Those at the top of the league can look down their noses at those at the bottom

For whatever reason people like lists. People measure different things. To your average Manchester City supporter the ranking of Oxford over Cambridge is of no interest.

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What happens when you speak different league table languages?

Is the share price of Nvidia more important than the degree of enlightenment?

Does it matter who has more cheap drones, who has more expensive Patriot missiles?

Must we discuss over beers down the pub from our soap boxes?

I think some people can get boners and/or go a bit damp about league table positions….

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Are you obsessed with league tables?

If so, why?

Will that help you achieve liberation and enlightenment?

Is Excel the secret key to escaping the wheel of rebirth?

It tabulation better than meditation?

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