When we attempt to communicate the message we actually send may be much different from what we think we meant.  How people receive and perceive what we say may differ markedly.

There is a tendency to try to force others to comply with our view of the world. If they do not we can ostracise them, shame them and “punish” them for not behaving as we think they ought to. Excommunication and shunning are methods employed. There can be a perception that the shunned person wishes back into the fold and will do anything to make amends. This can be a miscalculation.

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Once we have shunned someone it can be impossible to re-build a relationship. A bridge burned is not easily reconstructed. The punished may no longer want anything to do with the emotive “punishers”.

We might imagine a temporary message when it is perceived as permanent. If you put someone on the naughty step they may be very happy to be out of the maelstrom where they can meditate and gain perspective.

They can boogie in peace.

It can be difficult to understand that if you bomb someone they are very unlikely to be bosom buddies again in the near future.

Ill will has long longevity, good will can evaporate in a flash and is very difficult to rebuild.

We may not think about what messages we are actually sending especially when we are in the heat of the moment or ranting and raving. We can deliver and receive entirely the wrong message…

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“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

― George Bernard Shaw

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