Tag: philosophy

Hare Brained Patent Ideas

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

Following on from the dream mentioning the EPO in Munich, I have been revisiting some of my hare-brained patent ideas.

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Assuming all goes ahead with the operation I am going to be out of action gardening wise for several weeks. In order not to not drive myself and the wife mad, I will need something to do.

In around 2017 when I became very dis-illusioned with the REQUIRED verbatim parrot answers for “A” level chemistry exam questions, I looked into things quantum. As an aside if the physics syllabus back in the early ‘80s was as it is now, with quarks and astronomy etc., I would have tried a physics degree instead of chemistry. The so called right hand and left hand rules were boring and had other meanings. It was pretty soporific.

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I kept wondering when afternoon double physics would end. The teacher had been to the pub at lunch time and kept going off to the prep room mid lesson.

In a previous dream the notion of Quantum Telepathy was raised. I have already ascertained that the number of patent applications pertaining to telepathy are low. There are a few “occult” patents in French. To attempt to get a patent granted referring to quantum interruption of service for quantum computing or quantum cryptography would be fun and a challenge. The media might be interested.

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“Eccentric ex-boffin applies for quantum telepathy patent…”

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French is one of the languages at EPO. To make it even harder I could attempt to write the application in French. The possibility of opening a Pandora’s box lies perhaps therein.

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How deep the rabbit hole might go remains to be seen.

I was struck when looking at the quantum computing literature and patents at how far-fetched some of the claims were like ammonia trapped in buckminsterfullerene as an isolated molecule with a quantum superposition state of permutation inversion levels being the entangled pair. This person was not a molecular spectroscopist.

Other patent applications were longer than a Ph.D. thesis. It has to be a shit patent if it needs a hundred pages to explain. It was pretty obvious that people were getting patent number increase as a means for funding justification. It was also interesting seeing overt public reference go  suddenly “submarine”.

I have not seen data yet for quantum start-up failure rates. It seems some get bought up.

Around that time I had an idea for an entangled pair photon source produced by electric field induced spontaneous parametric down conversion (SPDC). I submitted that application in May 2019 and with some “discussion” it got granted. I speculated that because I was a “man in his shed” I was taken less seriously at the IPO in Newport. In one letter I mentioned the Imperial magic word and that I already had two patent grants. After that he was less discursive.

In that SPDC in low photon regime, and not parametric oscillator power range, requires that the electric field is quantizable along harmonic oscillator creator annihilation operator lines. I thought to myself there could be some new physics to be explored here….

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I also wondered why not exploit the time domain for quantum computing. Quantum entangled states are known to “beat” under certain circumstances. Working in the time domain before environmental dephasing kicked in could negate the need for extensive and expensive refrigeration.

Given my background in molecular symmetry it occurred to be that certain molecules could be used as a quantum gate. If they were allowed to “operate” on an entangled pair, they would in effect perform a computation on the state information. Molecular symmetry discussions were largely absent from the patent literature.

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A third order hyperpolarizability tensor looks very matrix like. Neo would be happy.

I had a third idea which escapes me now.

A while back I was looking into nuclear fusion reactor design patents. It occurred to me that for Tokamak and torus designs ignition could be enhanced by laser induced plasma ignition procedures. Hence a hybrid laser ignition “Tokamak” design may have benefits. Confinement in high energy laser ignition facilities to sustain fusion was then a known issue.

As a result of a largely NIMBY campaign to prevent an energy from waste municipal solid waste incinerator being installed next to the village, I looked into these. I came up with the idea for a laser induced plasma incinerator for ultra-high toxicity / biological hazard waste. At very high, near solar laser induced temperature, complete oxidation downstream from plasma formation could be ensured with high completion extent. In the cooling plasma reaction with oxygen free radicals could work. I approached Kilburn and Strode who helped me with the EUV patents. They were reticent in case they had a conflict of interests with one of their clients, the start-up I once co-founded!

It turns out that my ex-flat mate is a patent attorney and another from my year at university a patent litigator.

The other idea I had was to get my patent published in Welsh at the IPO in Newport.

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Cyfarpar i gynhyrchu parau ffoton

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Most of the Welsh patent agents I contacted were very supportive. They pointed me in various direction but the show stopper was that an English translation was also required. So much for equal…

Not quite sure why I am in this space this morning…

The Old Guard and Toltecs – Speculations

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The second instalment of the Old Guard series has recently hit Netflix. It has a shared plotline of sorts with the Highlander movies of ere. In this Old Guard dramatization physical plane immortals exist adjoint humanity and interact to either good or bad effect depending on mood and predilection. In Highlander in the end there can be only one in the battle between good and evil. In the Old Guard series “Andy” the main protagonist has fought to help, aid and otherwise nudge humanity in a “better” direction. Instead of reincarnating she has one contiguous and very long life in which she preserves her super model looks despite getting slashed and shot. A magical and miraculous healing occurs. She loses her regeneration powers and then regains them.

In each the burden of endless longevity / immortality is touched upon. They do not dwell overmuch on the boredom aspect rather the action and power angle. The omnipotence may appeal to the burdened and downtrodden. It may titillate the sociopath and the narcissist.

For dramatic impact pivotal points in global {human} history are referenced. An allied them is to be found in the “Assassins Creed” franchise though in this case reincarnation is invoked and a DNA bloodline is the bearer and propagator of ongoing conflicts.

It has been suggested to me that the so-called Toltecs were incarnated around pivotal times and played a role behind the scenes in the evolution of human and planetary history. Given that the technique of erasing personal history is part and parcel of the training, it is not surprising that little historical refence can be found. In the Old Guard Andy tries to avoid publicity. However in this day and age and thanks to internet monitoring and various intelligence services it is impossible to leave no trace. The times have changed.

In the Toltec tradition there is such a thing as a nagal being. The word Nagual in Spanish American is similar. The word Naga in the Indian tradition does not differ in root. In the hagiography of Buddhism Siddartha is protected by king cobra, a naga-raja, from the rain. These nagas live in the place or world of the nagas, naga-loka. Wisdom can be elicited from nagas and naga-loka. Serpents are the dreaming symbol for wisdom.

This suggests via speculation and extrapolation that a nagal being was a contemporary and perhaps companion of Shakyamuni Buddha.

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“There is unanimous agreement that Nāgārjuna (ca 150–250 CE) is the most important Buddhist philosopher after the historical Buddha himself and one of the most original and influential thinkers in the history of Indian philosophy. His philosophy of the “middle way” (madhyamaka) based around the central notion of “emptiness” (śūnyatā) influenced the Indian philosophical debate for a thousand years after his death; with the spread of Buddhism to Tibet, China, Japan and other Asian countries the writings of Nāgārjuna became an indispensable point of reference for their own philosophical inquiries. A specific reading of Nāgārjuna’s thought, called Prāsaṅgika-Madhyamaka, became the official philosophical position of Tibetan Buddhism which regards it as the pinnacle of philosophical sophistication up to the present day.”

Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy

Nāgārjuna (नागार्जुन). – Name of an ancient Buddhist teacher of the rank of बोधिसत्त्व (bodhisattva).

Wisdom Library

The name also appears in the wider Hindu sources predating Shakyamuni Buddha

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Typically a three pronged nagal is said to distribute knowledge widely. Like a stone thrown into a pond.  If Nāgārjuna is a wider term for a nagal teacher in the Indian sub-continent then this suggests that the core Toltec and Vedic / Buddhist teachings are similarly sourced and may differ only in method of expression and verbalisation. The term is a generic and not a specific and personal name.

I personally have not found any huge glaring clashes between these philosophies. There is a marked difference in emphasis and the cultural refence points and metaphors employed.

The entertainment mentioned above is not completely inconsistent with a hierarchy of spiritual “masters” on overwatch of humanity. However in order to make it dramatically appealing they must have meaty bits and interpersonal relations such as love with hints of corporeal hanky-panky.

Too abstract and the film would not sell. The immortals have to be beautiful people if good and have ugliness if bad. One is not allowed a minger of an immortal. They must be L’Oréal advert fresh out of the shower from time to time.

Having a “hot” teacher can badly detract from learning.

It is not difficult to see that the course of human history did indeed pivot around relatively small and local acts. The execution of Jesus ended up being a game changer. The invention of antibiotics added number density to humanity.  An assassination was used as a pretext for the first world war. If there is tension a simple fuse is all that is needed to ignite. A miscalculation in a Bay of Pigs might cause a nuclear winter. The simple protection of a Buddha from the rain enabled the propagation of the teachings for mind.

Humanity is prone to flying off the handle in rage and “self-righteous” indignation. Humanity has a “cob” on and is very prone to fits of angry pique which kill hundreds of thousands.

In the absence of overwatch might the history of humanity have been even more bloody and brutal?

We are heading into unknown territories with AI and Drone-robotics. What are the two biggest markets? War and sex. Thus humanity will expend effort into developing these for profit applications. Since the theoretical abolition of slavery humanity seeks a replacement.  I read yesterday that progress toward in vitro spermatogenesis is advancing, if the same continues for human eggs it may be possible to make a human-like foetus. A synthetic human is unlikely to have an indwelling Soul. This biological dabbling and getting a blind boner for technology represents a Pandora’s box the lid of which humanity will find difficult to resist. What is unleashed now and later in this century may cease to be readily controllable. The temptation of cash and the arrogant appeal of God-like potential may lead humanity down a very dark path indeed. It may regret…

How might Andy and the Highlander come to the rescue?

The So-called Externalisation

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If you swing by this blog from time to time you may note that I write a little on the blue books opus. These are written, so the story goes, by Alice Bailey acting as a telepathic amanuensis for the master Djwhal Kuhl a.k.a. the Tibetan. Whether or not you believe this story or the contents of these books, it is fair to say that a great deal of effort was made and that the contents, should you read them in entirety, no mean feat, have a marked internal consistency.

He suggests that the spiritual “hierarchy” may incarnate and live among humanity as a whole in preparation for the New Age and the coming of the Christ given impulse by the Avatar of Synthesis. I personally am not fond of any nomenclature which uses the word hierarchy. His thesis is these beings have guided humanity for millennia. An incarnate example being perhaps Comte de Saint Germain {still} who was “seen” at various European courts around the time of the French revolution.

In the works the Tibetan became a master taking the fifth initiation in the body of an old man in 1875 yet still writing books telepathically in 1950s. Such a statement is prone to disbelief.

This is not “Assassins Creed” and nor is this a Templar plot.

Nowhere in his opus does he mention that such an occurrence would be welcomed with open arms by the powers that be. In fact he is very scant on what that might look like. He does speculate on future schools of meditation and that various experiments would be undertaken. He mentions that Roosevelt was a disciple of the white magic and hints that Hitler and his evil gang of henchmen were dark and evil, dark adepts even.

Before I go further, I want to drop in a piece of nomenclature. This is the term karmic clusterfuck. A karmic clusterfuck is the biggest mistake that one can make in terms of messing up karma. In front lies a truly golden sparkly and shiny opportunity which you completely fuck up out of arrogance, power craziness and stubbornness. In seeking to control everything you turn it in a right royal, grade A karmic clusterfuck of gargantuan near cosmic proportions. The causal karmic clusterfuck will have huge ongoing effects and consequences rippling forward in space-time. That karmic clusterfuck has personal, racial and national impacts moving forward. The impacts can be global, geo-political and planetary.

It is noteworthy to examine the different treatment of Siddartha and Jesus. The resultant effects from these two karmic causes have differed, one characterised by blood greed violence and oppression the other more benign. One can draw own opinion from careful study.

Given the current obsession with espionage and “intelligence” it is not far-fetched to assume a few things. If the blue books opus is not written by the fairy godmother and has some measure of fact, then should such an externalisation happen it will be monitored. The likelihood of an open arms welcome is low. No powerful human would enjoy the interference of a bunch of beings with unknown provenance {to them}. The fatted calf would not be killed and put upon the great barbecue next to the Wagyu. Behaviour might be to observe and/or persecute. If threatened then incarnations could be encouraged to be short lived, truncated. There could even be partisan attempts to on-side the incarnating adepts and initiates, should they be discovered. Most likely there will be large intellectual resistance and this likely to emanate from the so-called scientific community as well as from churches of all flavours and creeds. Those with vested interests are the least likely to offer a heartfelt “Bienvenue”.

In clear simple terms, there will be shenanigans.

The tendency to try to double guess and assume would be difficult to resist. The basic assumption might be of motive, that the new kids on the block want to take over the ‘hood. To an enlightened being the notion of power over is an anathema. A concept difficult to comprehend for your normal powerful human being.

What is safe to say is that if such an externalisation were to occur it would be totally new and there would be zero precedent on how to approach it. Locking up an initiate in Guantanamo Bay, would be karmically unwise. It is however likely that humanity, some of its leaders, would react in a non-measured way. The new and unfamiliar can stimulate fear-dramas into those already mildly paranoid. No way would these enlightened beings be after the job of prime minister, archbishop, ayatollah or president. But people may fail to appreciate this. There would be psychological transference of motive. People would see their own reflection in the mirror.

Although a positional organisational chart was given out in the last century it would not be clear how to approach. Contact details are not available for Kuhl on LinkedIn. In 2025 he would be well in excess of 150 earth years old which is a bit of a mindfuck. Who might be the receptionist, the organisational gatekeepers? Where is headquarters? Why is their web site not SEO optimised? What is the protocol? The organisation has probably changed and evolved.

Any conventional corporate approach probably would not apply. One could not meet and share corporate PowerPoint presentations, handing out business cards with roles like Quartermaster, CEO, Secretary of State on. The concept of dealmaking may have zero applicability.

The world has changed since Kuhl was writing in depth.

I don’t know if Kuhl had envisioned how it might play out, probably not because when he was writing it was a long way into the future, a dream yet to coalesce. It would be a metaphorical minefield given that the vast majority of humanity is in no way soul-infused. The overarching psychology is that of the personality and its self-ish orientation. The interconnectedness of The One Life is not uppermost and goodwill to all men has been sadly much eroded as of late. People are self-centred and do not feel the One Humanity all that much. Separation and division are currently rife. People are not working together to face the real incoming crisis of planetary climate change; they are squabbling as “Rome” burns. They have pressed snooze on their smartphone alarm clocks.

Is it even possible for humanity to engage in a calm intelligent fashion with such a putative externalisation were it to happen?

How would you bet?

Aux vrays difciples de Hermes – Immortalité

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There is a very real likelihood of ancient non mainstream, dare I say it, non-peer reviewed knowledge, being undervalued and forgotten. Some manuscripts have been kept. This one has a publication date of 1710 by Limojon de Saint-Didier, Alexandre-Toussaint {approximately 1630-1689}. These are {inter alia} in the internet archive and at Wellcome Collection library, there are other Alchemical texts.

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I have seen a 1699 frontispiece for this.

Peter the Philosopher was made famous by J. K. Rowling. In the Hermetic mercurial tradition, there are references on turning quicksilver into gold. Here silver {quick} is matter and gold is spirit. Transmutation of consciousness is out of gross form to achieve liberation {nirvana} and cease the endless cycle of rebirth and hence death. One never dies again; one ceases to be mortal and hence achieves im-mortality. It does not mean living in meat, incarnate, for ever and ever {or a very long time}. It means not being reborn. No more dying.

Just as in esoteric Vajrayana Buddhism there are Hermetic mandalas:

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The symbolism in sketches like this is extensive and cannot be understood entirely rationally. That approach gets nowhere other than intellectual masturbation. The thought form has to be built with care and the consequences of making it, managed in “real” meaty life. It is the battle royal of soul in matter. The Caduceus in not solely two dimensional. People imagine, incorrectly, that the stone, the rock, Pierre is a thing, a talisman, a magic artefact. They may fuck around in a chemistry lab trying to synthesise it.

One can only grasp and attain these mandalas fully when one is ready. Whoever drew this one was no novice….

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It is a shame that required orthodoxy often squanders knowledge and burns books. Socio-political position and self-advancement so often overshadows. The powerful often destroy knowledge, wisdom and science if it threatens their power base. Because knowledge is power, in a sense, those in search of mundane power seek to handicap and destroy it. Anything not catholic enough in terms of the papal edicts, whatever shape or form they may be, is ostracised and attacked.

Soon New-speak and The Ministry of Truth rule the roost and all dissidents are punished.

In the kingdom of the blind the one eyed man is king.

This pattern is a historically repeating one.

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Sometimes the esoteric can survive in the shadows. Sometimes things are lost for ever. We will never know, by definition, what is lost already.

The orthodoxy always ridicules and talks down, bad mouths, that which does not conform or obey. It has always been thus and it will probably continue to be…

1984 Quotes – George Orwell

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“Orthodoxy means not thinking–not needing to think. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.”

“Being in a minority, even in a minority of one, did not make you mad. There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad.”

“If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.”

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—for ever.”

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”

“Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.”

“Sanity is not statistical.”

“The object of terrorism is terrorism. The object of oppression is oppression. The object of torture is torture. The object of murder is murder. The object of power is power. Now do you begin to understand me?”

“We know that no one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it.”

“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”

“Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it.”

“The past was erased, the erasure was forgotten, the lie became the truth.”

“Those who control the present, control the past and those who control the past control the future.”

“Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. Not in the individual mind, which can make mistakes, and in any case soon perishes: only in the mind of the Party, which is collective and immortal.”

“All rulers in all ages have tried to impose a false view of the world upon their followers.”

Arhats Pratyekabuddhas and Bodhisattvas – Hagiography

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I have a pet theory that the hagiography of all religions exaggerates and glosses. From knowledge of human behaviour and Chinese whispers, things passed down get embellished so as to confer kudos on the teller, the raconteur. Rarely are things made greyer and more boring. This means that taking things with a pinch of salt might offer some balance.

To the faithful there is nothing quite like a miracle to prove truth and religious figures are given, in narrative, super-human abilities and qualities. These days they would be told with enhanced computer CGI and special effects on a big budget. Bigging up martyrs and buddhas is good PR for the various churches. Who in the past had control of the proles as a raison d’être. The Sacerdotes have always had ritual magic and theatre in their playbook. Simplifying the message to an all fire-consuming hell and blissful pearly-gated paradise could be writ large on the side of big red double decker “Brexit” bus. Nobody could come back to provide a TripAdvisor rating for either holiday destination.

What if all that exaggeration has gotten completely out of hand?

Christianity, depending on flavour has a host of saints. Jesus’ crew, his disciples, are sanctified and portrayed. That depiction has taken place over two millennia. They are represented as holy. When if you think about it, they were learners, disciples, in the act of being taught and trained. Similarly, Buddha’s sixteen {18} arhats are seen as holy, saintly. When they were hanging out listening to Buddha and learning his ideas. It is said they achieved enlightenment. Lessening of burden is enlightenment, full liberation may not be the same as the partial enlightenment.

People pray to the saints and the arhats.

The canon’s of both Buddhism and Christianity were/are written by human beings and therefore by logic are coloured with bias and wishful thinking. There may well be some idealising.

Mahayana promotes the bodhisattva ideal where enlightened or near enlightened beings come back to teach out of the kindness of their hearts for the benefit of all sentient beings. This is seen by some as more worthy. Whereas the haughty arhats are too arrogant to teach, the pratyekabuddhas who do it all by themselves are not sufficiently omniscient to teach. They leave no legacy. They shun the sangha; they are not one of the gang. They are too arrogant, snobby, aloof, to be with normal people. The arhats, perhaps at one with the awesome and austere nature of reality and universe, lack the cosy human compassion are biased against and not as “nice” and the smiling friendly bodhisattva. They cannot be arsed to come back time and time again, the bastards.

People who do not know what these states of consciousness are like, make judgments thereupon. This {scholarly?} interpretation gets incorporated into the ongoing cannon, the creed, the gospel. People like definitions and will roll out comparison between, all knowing, earning bragging rights about something which they do not know. One could look it up in “Buddhism for Dummies”.

Religious thinking likes its “signs”. A rainbow appearing when someone achieves Parinirvana.

What if all these processes are entirely natural, relatively low key and nothing to shout about?

The hagiography diverges from reality…what is natural becomes miraculous. Which may inhibit application. The idea of a miracle is out of reach; the idea of continuous improvement and stepwise attainment is less daunting. Toning it down might increase genuine uptake of practice.,

Status pissing contests are a common human practice and are to be found in religion and science. People like to bullshit each other and pretend to know shed loads.

I have a pet theory that the hagiography of all religions exaggerates and glosses.

Karma and End of Life

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In my opinion it is very unwise to discount the effects of karma both as an individual, as a group or as a nation. Karma suggests that behavioural causes have inevitable effects. Our actions create our future. There are consequences.

Of course, there is no compelling reason why you should pay heed to my opinion. I am not some big cheese new-age book-selling guru, nor have I been recommended by hosts of followers {paid or otherwise}. I am not famous and I have no introduction written by a senior religious figure, a lama with a throne. My provenance if unknown and/or dodgy.  I am a retired person living in the countryside without cult or church. Perhaps a lone eccentric in a quiet by-way of a vast internet.

In the philosophy of karma, what you sow you reap.

It is not a great step to imagine that harvest comes towards the end of life. That harvest might be of a dual kind, material financial to retire on and spiritual karmic to set up the next evolutionary step, the next life. By the time you reach the autumn of life one might speculate that one has learned good from bad. One may have acquired a modicum of wisdom and life experience. In the light of that knowledge what you do towards end of life is more important because you can no longer plead inexperience or ignorance. As knowledge increases so does karmic import, karmic impact. You know better. You may not behave consistently with this knowledge.

The time in and around your {natural} death is the harvest of karma from this life and the others which precede. One might die well or cling on to the starboard bow with all your energy, afraid of letting go of the ship of life. In order to die “well” it is perhaps wise to pay off any residual karmic debt {if possible} before passing. This is because karmic debt accrues interest. One might wish an enabling birth subsequent.

But if you are of the “phew I got away with it” mentality under no circumstances, might you feel it necessary to settle accounts. You might take your smugness to the crematorium. You may remain stubbornly convinced, entitled even. As the crem gas burners light, you may look on and still think, “I told you so, there is no life after death!”

Even if you do not believe in karma, in the philosophy of karma, your words, deeds and bile add up. Karmically, you deny karma until such time as karma makes itself irrevocably obvious to you. You can struggle but karma is “bigger” than any petty human. Sooner or later “you” learn and your dogmatic adamant insistence to the contrary is shown to be flawed and inaccurate. This can come as quite a shock!!

For example, if you had unresolved karma with me, once divested of your stubborn personality vehicle, we might meet on the cusp of the dream, in the in between of worlds after physical plane death. There you cannot pretend not to have seen me or make an excuse because you are busy. I, still living, would not be surprised to see you but sure as hell you might be. What might you say?

At one time I briefly considered working with end of life care. But when I thought about it, I might go down like a lead balloon with friends and family.

From a Buddhist perspective having a “good” death gains karmic merit, it is a stepping stone, to the other shore of liberation. Being awake and conscious at withdrawal eases the transfer of emotive unpleasantness and thereby lessens the ongoing karmic burden. Panic and fear are not helpful; resistance is ultimately futile. Because of modern medicine I have had six more years. In the old days I would have died when I broke my femur.

I have a pet theory that modern medicine has complicated the workings of karma. That makes sense because karma too must evolve. Human choices are more nuanced than they once were. The temptation to strive to have life on you own terms and to try to dictate to the universe is strong.

In my dreams I have foreseen meetings {after their death} with a number of individuals with whom I was once acquainted. To my knowledge most of them still breathe earth air. If my dreams are predictive, we shall meet again in a “place” with which I am the more familiar.

What I am hinting here is that karma does not cease on “dying” but persists into the in-between experience on going. The slate is not wiped clean. How you live your life at and towards the end matters.

As I suggested at the beginning it is unwise to discount the notion of karma.

Memories – Alzheimer’s – Still Alice

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The other night we watched a film “Still Alice” the purpose of which was to get the viewers to empathise with the Columbia University professor Alice who develops early onset Alzheimer’s disease. It portrayed the impact on her and her family as she lost cognitive function and recall. There was no CGI, sex or violence in the film and it was engaging, well written and well-acted. A nice change from the glitzy, violent and insubstantial. It was a bit sentimental drawing on the American idealism of family and career. It showed how when someone devotes all life to career it can be taken away. Where value is placed can be fragile.

It is pretty easy to prematurely self-diagnose Alzheimer’s as one moves towards dotage. In our case the need for linguistic engagement outside of our proximal relationship is minimal. One could say that I am out of practice talking shite.

Modern psychology is very normative in its approach and there are a series of behavioural norms which, if there is divergence from, evokes a label of illness or syndrome. I don’t know where the set of societal norms are garnered from, what the statistical evidence is or whether the ultimate arbiter of “they” decrees what is normal. I don’t know who drew up and populated the Venn diagrams.

In the film there was mention of “memory makes us who we are”, there was thumbing of family photo albums and old holiday film footage was played in the narrative.

Human perception is never 100% objective and any recall of past events is subject to selective perception and selective memory. Humans are biased. We have selective recall. The memories, the bedrock upon which we build our re-collection of life are not entirely sound. In the film the protagonist identified as a clever university professor. That identity was removed when she started to lecture poorly. Her entire personal legend fell into question. The film suggested she suffered during this process, trying to cling on to her faculties and her legend.

A saccharin rose-tinted view of the past is perhaps the tearful key to enjoy the twilight years according to many. Looking back wistfully sustains as incapacity and incontinence sets in. Our past “glories” provide a nice warm feeling which is not a leaking catheter. The ability to live partially in the past is seen good as the quantity of future available fades.

I am certain that how I hold memories of the past differs from many because I have recapitulated my life numerous times and worked hard at erasing my personal history {not in a browser}. I’ll speculate that were a psychologist to investigate my recall of life memory they might note a difference to norm.

I am not beholden to past nor do I cling on to it. Nevertheless, it has a causal relationship in how I interact in the now. I have a decent scientific training and could, if pushed, sustain a scientific conversation or persona.

One could argue that I have forgotten who or what I once was and have morphed into an anti-social bumpkin. Look how far he has sunken! What a fall from intellectual grace! How sad, what a shame!

But that would be facile.

This addiction to creating “memories” or “Insta-stories” is counterproductive to the pursuit of liberation. The concretising enhances the urge for rebirth. The constant re-telling of “family means everything” is often a lie and something we are encouraged to provide in our PR stories for public consumption. There is a big illusion concerning “family”. To err from ideal is seen as bad even when the ideal itself is an illusory construct. We are complicit in the propagation and recounting of this illusion.

This means that although I can appear approximately normal, the underlying psyche in my case differs markedly in that a shared basis is not there. I do not think the way I am “supposed” to.

About a decade ago I had cause to re-learn university level physical chemistry. It took a while. I had big difficulty because some of the so-called proofs which I once accepted without question no longer seemed adequate to me. They seemed short-cut. Yet thousands of undergraduates receive degrees every year by correctly reproducing them and applying them mathematically to exercises generated by faculty. I have no doubt in the physical applicability of much science, because we can build rockets that work. I am not entirely convinced that the methodology is as perfect as we imagine and profess. There may be some element of kidding of self along the way.

Maybe I have lost my science ability, my science faculties.

The film touched briefly on the notion of identity, or self, and hence self-perception. Something which Alzheimer’s gradually erases, if I understand correctly. In some ways my notions of self are gone already even though I maintain some cognitive function and have near zero resident social-event memory. There is nothing which I cling to and not very much which keeps me here, incarnate, on earth.

This notion of self, seen as good, is also behind war and conflict. The gist of the film was that maintaining the sense of self and still being the same person underneath despite all the loss of function and memory was a good thing. I am still…despite…

I am not sure that it is, from the point of view of liberation. Karmically if you place a lot of stock in intellect and its application, then to have it withdrawn is a major challenge. One which could set you up well for the next life. Sometimes our worst fears manifest and that is not necessarily a bad thing. Our challenges at end of life can be the most profound and the most enabling for our onward evolution.

In the end, for all of us, our current notion of self must dissolve and pass whether quickly or otherwise.

Self is impermanent.

Revisiting the “Thai” Incarnation – Ong Bak

~ quantumdreamer ~ Leave a comment

I mentioned earlier in the blog that around 2003 I started having visions of myself as Buddhist priest / monk with om mane padme hum tattooed on my forearms in Sanskrit. This tattooing suggested the Sak Yant of Thai, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia / Burma, I could not see the colour of the robes in those visions but was certain that the calligraphy was not Tibetan.

More recently I had an “Indochina” dream, a link is below.

One could say that the Buddhist Muay Thai dream resulted from me watching Tony Jaa in the early Ong Bak films. But I don’t think so.

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As a regular user of Watkins books where one can find much on “spirituality” I frequented Cecil Court near Trafalgar Square, London. There was an artefact shop opposite. There I purchased this Buddha / Avalokiteśvara. He is sitting in our hallway to this day.

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At the time I was talking with a chemistry student during her final year research project on statute patinas joint with The Royal College of Art. The shop has moved probably to Camden. I had a long conversation with proprietor about how the village from which he sourced the statuettes used special techniques to create ancient looking patinas.

Many years later following on from a dream I visited a Thai Forest Buddhist centre, Cittaviveka, also known as Chithurst Buddhist Monastery. This was not far from where we lived in the UK.

When I had the “Thai” dream in 2023 I was genuinely quite surprised because I had mentally ruled out Indochina. But today that notion has again resurfaced. The hair-do on the statute is very Indochina – style. I have said “Thai” but it could be elsewhere on the peninsula.

The Buddhist thread is linked to the pen-pal of the wife’s mother who was the daughter of a Sri Lankan ambassador and a Pali Scholar, the author of a Pali dictionary and important to the spread of Buddhism to London. This is the Theravada link.

The monk I spoke with at Cittaviveka had looked after Christmas Humphreys. A key figure in bringing Buddhism and meditation to London.

In that dream for the first time, “I am wearing only some saffron-yellow trousers.” I am clearly Asian.

Hmnn…