Circle Game – Merry-go-round

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There’ll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Joni Mitchell

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This morning I had yet another scan, a CT scan to test MY diagnosis of diffuse idiopathic skeletal hyperostosis (DISH). This based on my interpretation of a lung CT scan which included data on the spinal column.

“Diffuse idiopathic skeletal hyperostosis (DISH) is a type of arthritis that affects tendons and ligaments, mainly around your spine. These bands of tissue can become hardened (calcified) and form growths called bone spurs where they connect to your bones. DISH can also cause bone spurs in your hips, knees, shoulders, feet and hands and harden bones throughout your body. 

DISH, sometimes called Forestier disease, often doesn’t cause symptoms and is usually found when you have an imaging test for another problem. Some people have pain and stiffness in their  back that may get worse over time.” 

The GP has asked the radiologist specifically so we should get a specific answer. It will then be on record and “official” if indeed the formal diagnosis is made.

This brings to the end a flurry of medical appointments and scans. Perhaps there will be a hiatus. I have a GP appointment late next week to pull threads together. Then I have a urologist “finger” appointment to discuss my elevated prostate specific antigen (PSA) level in early August. They may order a biopsy {yippee}, but perhaps we are not there yet.  

I am due a CT cardio angiogram at some stage before the hip operation.

A number of the threads will probably go nowhere, be left with no actions.

Of late I have been wondering, “does modern medicine with its endless testing and so-called preventative measures {like statins} actually make you ill? Is it some weird self-fulfilling prophecy?”

There certainly is tendency to obsess about health engendered thereby. What are my cholesterol levels like today? Have I had too many units of alcohol?  Will I die of health related anxiety or a stress induced hypertensive episode? Is the world getting a tad obsessed by medical metrics?

Buggered if I know…

What it looks like is maybe an autumnal new hip, perhaps followed by a second in early spring assuming I can hack it. Which means in summer ’26 I might have a little less pain and a little more flexibility. I am not expecting much.

Off-compound interaction is likely to remain low and we will have to sell the house to get something smaller and more suitable. The blighty or Brittany question will raise its head. Aside from that I do not see any great shakes. I have emailed a couple of people about dreaming.

In general people are vey busy, they have lots on their plates and I am functionally irrelevant to the wider world. I am an anomaly to the mainstream. No biggie…

A recent dream has pointed at some kind of engagement with mental health. Implicit in this has to be anglophone. I am not sounding a trumpet call of excitement. The world out there is a minefield. If someone can get sacked from their high profile job for a single racist jibe whilst half pissed, it is a strange and disproportionate place. Best to say fuck all then. That is the take home message.

I know that I am largely out of touch with the younger people. I do not have any personal data on how people younger than 40 think, because I have not interacted with any. It looks such a  dangerous minefield out there and it makes me so glad that I am not in my erstwhile role in “pastoral care”.

The dreaming has not dreamed in, any vision of the future. I note that in the year 2015 when I had my colon cancer operation there were precious few dreams. Maybe as I approach surgery later, they will cease in a similar manner.

Maybe the painted ponies have stopped going up and down for a while, a brief respite, while other merry-go-round users climb aboard. Soon the garish music will start anew and the ride will begin again….

Ready For the Knacker’s Yard


“A knacker, knackerman or knacker man is a person who removes and clears animal carcasses (dead, dying, injured) from private farms or public highways and renders the collected carcasses into by-products such as fats, tallow (yellow grease), glue, gelatin, bone meal, bone char, sal ammoniac, soap, bleach and animal feed. A knacker’s yard or a knackery is different from a slaughterhouse or abattoir, where animals are slaughtered for human consumption. Since the Middle Ages, the occupation of “knacker man” was frequently considered a disreputable occupation. Knackers were often also commissioned by the courts as public executioners.

Etymology

The oldest recorded use of the word “knacker” dates to 1812, meaning “one who slaughters old or sick horses” and in 1855 “to kill, castrate”, and is believed to be the same word as the earlier knacker/nacker “harness-maker” from the 1570s, surviving in 18th century dialects. The sense extension is perhaps because “knackers” provided farmers with general help in horse matters, including the disposal of dead horses and animals. The word is of uncertain origin, perhaps from the Scandinavian word represented by Old Norse hnakkur, saddle, and related to hnakki, “back of the neck”, possibly relating to neck.”

Excerpted from Wikipedia


The medical merry-go-round continues…

“Prostate-specific antigen (PSA), also known as gamma-seminoprotein or kallikrein-3 (KLK3), P-30 antigen, is a glycoprotein enzyme encoded in humans by the KLK3 gene. PSA is a member of the kallikrein-related peptidase family and is secreted by the epithelial cells of the prostate gland in men and the paraurethral glands in women.

As part of my three monthly MOT or Controle Technique, I had some blood tests yesterday. My Ferritin is elevated as is my PSA. The PSA result is above normal again and on an upward trend. I have had a digital {finger} and MRI scan and my prostate gland is enlarged. Last year there were no observable lesions in the MRI images.

The odds on prostate cancer have changed. It is more likely.

We were told to get back in touch with the piss-takers {urology} if my PSA result had gone up. The wife has been trying to get through. If ever there was a nanna-disease it is water works.

I have measured my blood pressure and at 133/85 it seems to be one of the few things still working. I am due a dental implant end of May and now have toothache to boot. Any infection will prohibit the implant.

I have just been preparing a detailed chronology / image database for a rheumatology private consultation “thanks” to my new printer. I needed to scan some documents. HP Smart is a misnomer. There is no way adding a “smart” “modern” printer to a WiFi network needs to be so fucking difficult.

Bring back serial ports and 9600 dot matrix baud rates…all is forgiven.

The so called “appli” or application which I downloaded onto a “smart” phone as a last resort did not work either…the Windows version failed to accept the correct network key!! To be told over and again that the correct network key is incorrect is not good. I have made a consumer choice never to buy HP again.

I once had a Kodak printer and it was the best. Simple. Easy to use. Effective. Cheap to run.

The number of things currently wrong and going wrong is increasing. Maybe the time to reincarnate as soap or glue is fast approaching….