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The future of prescience cannot always be locked into the rules of the past. The threads of existence tangle according to many unknown laws. Prescient future insists on its own rules. It will not conform to the ordering of the Zensunni nor to the ordering of science. Prescience builds a relative integrity. It demands the work of this instant, always warning that you cannot weave every thread into the fabric of the past.

–Kalima: The Words of Muad’ Dib The Shuloch Commentary

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I generally keep an archive record of all my blogs or their contents. It is for me useful to see what was chuntering around. In 2014 I had a very brief spell tutoring at an Oxford College. This was unsatisfactory for them and so I resigned. It took a lot of work to get back up to speed with the science and the per hour pay was down on what I could more easily get from “A” level science tutoring. I was living in a per hour mind set.

As it turned out it was probably a good thing all round as I may have had the nascent colon cancer already. I would not have been able to coach them for the summer exams. I was not blogging at the time because I was too busy.

Things can happen for a reason.

My mother had died earlier in the year I seem to remember.

I did not take up blogging again until early 2015. By then the cancer must have been present.

It is clear from the blog that I paid a lot of attention to various dreams which seemed important one of which was:

the Guardian Elephant dream click here.

I had a brief exchange with my former employers at the end of 2014 during which they plummeted badly in my estimations. I wondered post hoc if this was related in part to the cancer, the ill feeling adding to progression. There was perhaps something which needed excised.

I concluded that all things pertaining to UK academia were dead and buried. Unimpressed.

I meditated very extensively prior to my operation to remove the cancer. (July 2015) I was able to locate it inside my body and attempt to hold its growth visually prior to the operation. I directed “energy” at it. The subsequent sketch made by the surgeon was consistent with my visualisation or where I “found” it. I also saw the mend in subsequent colonoscopies.

A number of times in the 2015 blog I mention how my dreaming had been detrimentally impacted by the surgery and anaesthesia. I remark on feeling discombobulated and not strongly attached to my body. My recorded dream frequency dropped to an all time low.

On the 20^th  of August 2015 I had a dream excerpt:

 This morning I had a dream. In front of me appeared three doors pertaining to various things. Each of the doors had a “closed” sign on it. And the feeling behind two of the doors was “and please fuck off now”. It was pretty clear.

The feeling of being anchored in body is described then as much looser than  before. As if I never came back fully or at least not yet. I was pretty sure that something weird had happened. The operation had gone on for a couple of hours longer than had been planned…

It took a long time to recover…the hip was quick in comparison.

The last anaesthetic {Nov. 2025} has not reduced the dream frequency. Though there was a lull just after the event. It is back at full flow. I feel anchored in the body but not attached to it…

It is weird revisiting that space in the blogs and noting how themes have carried forward to today…