A market opportunity exists for a clothing company serving the vertically challenged non-svelte section of the middle mature male population. It should approach this market in a no frills, no fuss, no bullshit fashion. The trousers should offer short legs and elasticated waists. No internet fuckwittery in terms of paid for advertising is needed, nor are any vouchers or special bonus code “deals”. There in no need for a corporate heroin-loyalty-card simply a WYSWYG service that is reliable and timely. No need for any geezer whom you do not know the name of nor recognise in the adverts. There is no need to shell out vast sums of money for advertisements featuring a black-ginger-freckled-disabled-gay-anthropomorphic famous person with a large Tok-Tik following with ultra-woke or for that matter MAGA credentials.
There has got to be a vast horde of people like me, forgotten, grey, invisible middle aged men in need of some strides, some trousers. Strides that are simple, unfussy and you don’t need an extra £20 for a banal logo thereupon. The sort of people who get cancelled left right and centre for not being entirely PC. This market has money which it does not spend on manicures, tattoos nor crack, back and sack waxing. A market that is not unfamiliar with prostate exams and endless ticking offs by GPs about diet and alcohol consumption.
I shall apply forthwith to the Trademark office to try to trademark “Ye Olde Git Clothing Company Ltd”. I will purchase the domain name “ye-olde-git-clothing-company.com”.
Next, I will go on Dragon’s Den and pitch to Türker Süleyman for start-up funds….


